Hyde's Redo
by Eliza Ghost
Summary: Everyone knows that Hyde's childhood with Edna wasn't exactly ideal. What happens when a mistake gives him a second chance? That's right, a de-aged Hyde fic.
1. Mystery

**A/N: Hi! This is my first posted fan fiction, So I really hope you all like it! I have the next few (and by few I mean…5 or 6) chapters planned out as well, and I will more than gladly take requests/suggestions along the way!  
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**This takes place in one of the early seasons, while Jackie and Kelso are still together, Laurie has not yet moved out, and after Hyde has moved in with the Forman's. It was originally going to be later, but because of the things I wanted to include, it just works out better in the early seasons. Yes, I know the improbability of this fic actually happening ever, but, hey, it's fiction, just roll with it. One last thing, I would also like to know if any of you can think of a more permanent title for this story. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own that 70's show or SNL (and any similarities to another fanfic are completely unintentional, but I don't think there are any other of these in this fandom)**

**So please review, enjoy, recommend, you know the drill! Ok! With out further ado…**

"No, man, I think you should add this," Hyde suggested, pouring a beaker into the glass flask that came with Eric's old "My First Chemistry Set," recently dug out of the attic after Laurie found it up there looking for her old hair dryer.

"Hyde, it says you shouldn't mix the ace…ty…the blue one, it says don't mix the blue one with that," Eric announced, fumbling over the words in the now fading instruction manual.

Hyde shook his head. Was Eric really going to listen to some know it all toy company? The guy who wrote the instructions probably couldn't pronounce the words himself!

"Nah, man, if you do that-" Hyde's voice was interrupted by Kitty calling them up for dinner. The boys ditched the set and marched upstairs, eager for whatever feast Kitty had prepared tonight.

A few moments later, Kelso came through the basement door, only to find that nobody was down there. He walked over to the stairs, entranced by the smell of warm pot roast. Before he could go up the stairs, though, something caught his eye.

"Whoa, what's this?" Kelso asked, picking up the box to the chemistry set. "Ch-em-istry, oh, like mystery! Ch-eh-mystery set. Cool!" He shouted, looking at the plastic test tubes laid out. Well, if it was supposed to be a mystery, then shouldn't he add stuff so Eric and Hyde wouldn't know what was in it? Yeah, because then it would be a mystery!

"Awesome!" Kelso yelled, dumping whatever he could find, including a few drops from each of the laundry products, into the flask. Dude, it was all bubbly! It looked like one of those potions that witches and sorcerers make! Oh, man, Eric and Hyde would definitely have to figure out the mystery now!

After dinner, Hyde and Eric decided they might as well mess with their "potion" until Saturday Night Live came on. The bubbling had dyed down, so they didn't even notice the difference as they added a packet of pink, dusty looking stuff into the mix. Kelso was laughing, but they figured it was just at whatever cartoon he was watching on TV

Eric leaned forward ever so slightly, trying to smell the chemical creation. Hyde rolled his eyes, and sniffed it, getting close enough to actually smell it. "No! Hyde, you remember what our chemistry teacher said? Waif, not waft? Or something like that…" Eric warned him.

"Man, do you have to be such a baby about everything?" Hyde asked, leaning in closer, just to watch Forman flinch, much to Kelso's amusement.

"Hyde, I'm serious, man." Eric said nervously. Really, they didn't know anything about chemistry, this stuff could be poisonous!

Hyde tried to ration that it wasn't that different from what they did at the circle, anyways.

Eric, finally catching on that Hyde was joking, laughed awkwardly. That is, until Hyde took a _real _sniff, and before Eric realized what happened, Hyde had crashed onto the hard cement floor.

Hyde blinked. Man, had he passed out? OK, so maybe their science teacher had a good point about not smelling chemicals. Oh, God, not to mention that Eric and Kelso had seen him pass out! He was going to have to…punch them, or something, if they teased him about it.

Wait a second…why did everything look so big? And why did Eric look like his eyes were going to explode out of his head?

"Dude, it looks like somebody put Hyde in the dyer too long!" Kelso was giggling.

"What the hell are-" Hyde started. Whoa. What was wrong with his voice? It sounded really…high pitched, and…_young_.

"Hyde, don't freak out, but, Hyde…you're…you," Eric stuttered.

"YOU'RE A LITTLE KID!" Kelso yelled, a stupid grin plastered to his face.

Hyde laughed. Maybe he was right about it being like the circle and he was just high, or dreaming, or something. Yet, when stood up, his friends suddenly became giants to him. Even _Eric_. He turned around. The couch stood a few inches taller than him, and his shirt went down past his knees and-

"OK, this isn't funny anymore," Hyde said, the Zen leaking out of his now tiny voice. But, as Eric handed him a mirror from some shelf by the shower, he saw it was true; the Zen Master looked like a kindergartner.

Hyde just stood there, dumbfounded, when suddenly feet came booming down the steps and the furious voice of Red Forman rang out; "_what did you dumb asses do?"_

**A/N: Well, that's the first chapter. I kinda feel guilty for de-aging Hyde, since he's so macho, but you'll see, this will become almost a character study. Nothing too serious, it'll still be fun to read (at least, I hope so). The other ones are longer, so far (almost done typing chapter 3). I'll try to post the next one soon, after I get a satisfactory amount of reviews, **_**hint hint**_**.**

**I will also be posting a Spring Awakening fic and probably a Legally Blonde fic, if any of you are interested.**

**Thanks for reading!  
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	2. Red in the Face

"Dad!" Eric yelled in surprise, immediately stepping in front of Hyde. Red shoved him out of the way and looked at the little boy before returning his gaze to his son.

"Who the hell is this?" Red shouted.

Kelso interrupted, "uh, Mr. Forman, you shouldn't say 'hell' in front of little kids." Red gave him a death glare.

Hyde punched Kelso's leg. "I know what hell means, man!"

Red ignored the child's comment, now switching his death glare back to Eric. "Did you dumb asses steal someone's kid?"

"What? Dad, no, why would we do that?" Eric sputtered.

"Then where did this kid come from, Eric?"

"Gee Dad, I thought Grandpa already told you where babies came from," Eric said, trying to break the ice. Red gave him one of his usual "don't be a smart-ass" threats.

Meanwhile, Hyde was standing in the corner with Kelso, ranting about how his must be the government's doing, some sort of conspiracy to poison unsuspecting owners of the chemistry sets.

Kelso, on the other hand, was getting impatient, and decided to just inform Red. He put it simply, and Red just laughed at him. "No, really man, that's Hyde" Kelso insisted, "I mean, no really, _sir_." Hyde punched him in the leg again. "Ow! _Damn_, Hyde!"

Red looked at Eric and pointed at Kelso. "That kid's on dope."

Upstairs, Kitty was doing the dishes, trying to block out the noise downstairs. Finally she decided that if she didn't want her husband to stick his foot up her baby boy's bottom, she better go put an end to it. "Boys, please-oh my, who is this little man?" She asked, indicating Hyde. "Oh, Red, doesn't he look _just _like Steven used to?" She gave one of her signature laughs. "And what's your name, sweetheart?" she asked, deciding it was better not to talk about the child like he wasn't in the room, unlike Red.

"Steven…" Hyde started. "…Hyde."

Kitty threw her hands in the air, and looked at Kelso and Eric. "Boys, is this a joke? You shouldn't use children for pranks!" She shook her head, and bent down to eye level, asking "sweetie, where's your mommy?"

Hyde smirked, "I dunno, probably living in a crappy apartment somewhere, getting plastered with one of my 'uncles.'"

"Oh, well that's…that's just…that's very disturbing, honey," she said quietly, wondering again if the older boys had put him up to this.

The next few hours were spent quizzing Little Hyde, until no one could stand it anymore.

"I just don't believe it," Red said, dumbfounded, "how the _hell _did you do this?"

"Uh oh," Kelso said, finally making the connection between Hyde aging backwards right after he smelled the "mystery potion" that Kelso had mixed. Red looked at him. "What 'uh oh'?"

Kelso stood up, announcing, "ooh, look at the time. I better go." Everyone stared at him. "You know, so I still have enough time to do it with Jackie! Just...bye," he finished, running out before Red could catch him.

"I'm going to stick my foot so far up his a-"

"REGINALD ALBERT FOREMAN!" Kitty stopped her husband. Hyde threw up his hands. Did everyone think that he had suddenly forgotten cuss words?

A few hours passed, and everyone was still up. Well, Red was half asleep from the beers he had drank trying to make sense of this whole thing, and Laurie was still at some guy's house, so it was pretty much just Eric, Kitty, and Hyde.

"Oh, Eric, will you go get your old box of clothes from the attic? We can't have Steven running around in a shirt that's longer than a dress!" Kitty laughed. Eric headed upstairs, and Hyde tried not to blush. A dress? Well, a dress length Led Zeppelin shirt was probably better than wearing Eric's hand-me-downs. _God, I hope Forman wasn't into sweater vests when he was a little kid,_ Hyde thought. Oh, man, did he think of himself as a little kid? It was a good thing that he was exhausted, or else he would still be freaking out and killing his last remaining Zen cells in the basement.

Kitty rubbed her hands together. Though she would never tell Steven this, she sometimes used to wish that she could give him a do over. She was very happy with the intelligent, handsome, caring, responsible young man that she thought he was becoming, but she just wished he could have had a better childhood. Well, maybe this was her chance to give him the mothering he needed so badly as a little boy.

She had thought about taking Steven to the hospital, saying that the chemicals could have done more damage, and he was getting a bump on his head from when he hit the floor, but, secretly, she thought she just might take a blood test to make sure it was her Steven. He had adamantly refused to go, stating his mistrust of doctors, and fear that if Kitty accidentally blabbed to anyone about what happened, that he would be a freak show and have experiments done on him. It was then that she knew in her heart that this was her baby.

"Here, Mom," Eric sighed, plopping a dusty, well packaged cardboard box onto the Lysol smelling table. Kitty rummaged through the old box as Steven yawned. Well, she guessed she might as well just get him a pair of old pajamas then.

"Here you go, honey," she smiled sweetly, handing Hyde a pair of plain, red footy pajamas that Eric used to wear when he was about five. Eric had to try not to laugh. But, the thought of Hyde in footy pajamas…man, this day just kept getting more bizarre.

"Thanks," Hyde said unenthusiastically, hoping Mrs. Forman would just think he was tired. He should have known better.

"Don't worry, Steven. We can go shopping for new clothes tomorrow." At this, Hyde brightened a little bit, wondering if Aerosmith shirts came in child sizes. Hopefully, though, when he woke up tomorrow this will all have been a chemical induced hallucination and he'd be his normal age again.

"I'm goin' to sleep!" Hyde called up the stairs, not willing to be seen in the pajamas. But no, Eric had to come down anyways. "Aww, Heidi," he teased in a sing-song voice.

Hyde scoffed. "can it, Forman."

"Someone's just cranky because it's past their bed time." Now that just pissed Hyde off. Mainly because it was true.

"Someone better sleep with one eye open tonight, man!" Hyde said angrily as he went to his room and slammed the door.

**A/N: what do you think? I feel like the first half is less in character, mainly because it's the awkward "convincing everyone that it's true" scene. Yeah, I'll have to do it again with the rest of the gang, But I'll just skip forwards a bit to their scene, a certain blond takes Hyde to get decent clothes. I'm looking forward to posting chapter four, though. I am yet to type it, but it's going to be the "aww, poor Hyde" scene. **

**I was hoping for more reviews last chapter, but I figured I might get some more once I upload this one.  
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**Thank you so much to Shabbuuu, I'm in the works of reading Hidden now as a thanks.  
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**Well, let me know what you thought and chapter 3 will be up soon!**

**PS. and I must thank nannygirl for the newly edited in "dope" line :)  
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	3. Laurie

**A/N: Thanks once more to Shabbuuu, and Trillian. Shabbuuu pointed out that I never gave the specific season. Think early season 2, probably. And Trillian, yeah, I like the ones where they remember being adults better.  
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** OK, that's all for now, enjoy the chapter **

Hyde rolled out of bed the next morning. Literally. As some as he recomposed himself, he realized that he was still short. _Shit._ He hadn't been dreaming last night. He had really been hoping that he was just having the worst trip of his stoner career. Jesus Christ man, what was there to do now? Stuff like this didn't just _happen_. Screw that, stuff like this never happened. It couldn't happen!

Hyde was back on his government tangent from last night. "And there's no way Kitty's taking me to the hospital, man," he declared to no one in particular, "if anyone is dumb enough to believe this and news leaks, I'll be confiscated as the governments newest experiment. No way in hell, man."

He changed into a pair of ugly khakis and a sweater of Eric's that Kitty had left for him. Damn, he didn't care if he had to use his own cash, he was buying new clothes. Today. He couldn't stand the thought of having one of the guys see him-

Oh, man. The guys. Kelso had probably told Jackie already, but who would believe him? Nope, nobody was going to believe him until they saw Hyde for themselves, which meant that he'd have to spend many more hours proving that he was, in fact, Steven James Hyde. He didn't even want to believe it himself.

After half an hour of angry huffing and pacing around his room, Hyde finally went upstairs for breakfast.

Never had breakfast been so awkward. There was teasing from Forman, still bewildered head shakes from Red, motherly comments from Kitty, and sustained disbelief by all. And that was only in the first few minutes.

Laurie came in late, slipping through the side door, back from some guy's house.

"Whoa." She stopped in her tracks. "Who's the shrimp?"

_Great, _Hyde thought, _let the explaining begin again._

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><p>Hyde squirmed in Eric's old hand-me-downs like a nudist wearing clothes for the first time. This was probably the only time he would ever be glad to go clothes shopping in his life. Unfortunately, it was Laurie that drove him to the mall. Eric had to go to school, and Red and Kitty had to work, so Laurie had been forced to take him through blackmail. It had been established that if she lost Hyde, then Red would be informed about what she did last summer with Sean Barker.<p>

"OK, twerp, take this," the she-devil said, handing him the shopping list that Kitty had made. Hyde was happy to escape his defacto-sister, who had been informed of his new state after breakfast, which went much like last night.

Hyde knew exactly what he was getting first; sunglasses. He was fairly confident that there must be some store that sold kid's aviator sunglasses, because there was no way he was going to settle for those cheap plastic ones with pictures of Disney characters in the corner.

He stuffed the list in his pocket, remembering what he needed to get:

_3 pairs of long pants_

_5 shirts_

_2 pairs of shoes_

_2 pairs of socks_

_1 pack of underwear_

_1 jacket_

_**SUNGLASSES**_

Mrs. Forman said that she would wash Eric's old winter clothes, so there was no worry about buying himself snow gear.

An hour later, Hyde had collected a miniature version of his wardrobe, and was waiting for Laurie to return. Well, well, well. It looked like Red was going to find out about the summer with Sean Barker after all.

Damn. What to do? He couldn't go running to the store clerk, she would just embarrass him by announcing on the loud speaker that she had a lost child that Laurie Forman needed to pick up. Wait-actually, this could be fun.

Hyde reached up to one of the higher shelves, trying desperately to reach the tiny aviators that he had been eying since Laurie ditched him.

"Hold on," a pretty blond woman said, coming over to Hyde's aid, "here you are. Hey…are you alone? Where's your mom?"

Hyde stuck out his lip, trying to play the part. "I don't know. She left me here a while ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Why don't I have security call her?"

Hyde shook his head, "no, that's OK. She's probably talking to the guy at the pretzel stand again. Mom says that he's hot. "

Hyde stuck on his new glasses to hide the smile in his eyes at the girl's shudder. "How long ago did she leave?"

"Hour ago, I think," Hyde responded.

"Lets have security call her," the lady announced, taking Hyde's hand in hers.

"_Attention, attention, would a Laurie Forman please come pick up her son at the security desk?"_

The cashier Laurie was flirting with stopped in his tracks. "You have a kid?"

Laurie gave a disgusted look. "_No_, it must be some other Laurie Forman." And then she remembered Hyde. "Oh, shit, the orphan," she realized before running off, figuring any chance she had of getting lucky tonight had just been dashed.

Laurie's heels clicked their way over to the security desk. After the security guard made sure that Laurie was supposed to be in charge of Hyde, he let them go.

"Hyde, you are so dead for this. Now Jimmy thinks I've got a kid," Laurie snapped after paying for Hyde's clothes.

"So what, man? Most of us already think that, anyways. Oh, and by the way, _BURN_," Hyde said nonchalantly.

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><p>"Why are we stopping," Hyde asked in the car a few minutes later.<p>

"You'll see," Laurie said, her voice a bit too happy.

She stopped at a cheery looking school house-like building. Hyde felt disgusted. There were flowers growing out front, and a bright plastic playground out back. Then it hit him. This was a day care.

Hyde laughed quietly. "C'mon, Laurie, you're not really dropping me here, are ya?" Laurie's smile widened. "Jesus, it's not like anyone will care that you got called to pick me up. Everyone knew that Edna had me, and that didn't stop her at all!" Hyde shuddered at the mental image he had accidentally given himself. "Besides, there's a million girls with your name, nobody will think it was you," Hyde tried desperately as Laurie opened his door. Hyde reluctantly stepped out of the car, but threatened, "you know, I have a lot of dirt on you, man. I have so much I could tell people about you. And what about your tail? Bet that's more of a turn off than people thinking you have a kid!" Hyde knew that one was risky. It could either piss Laurie off or make her cry. Apparently it made her cry.

"You know I'm sensitive about that!" Laurie shouted uncharacteristically. Usually she was a witty bitch.

"Ma'am, are you alright?" one of the women at the front desk asked upon seeing Laurie's tears. Laurie wiped her face with the back of her hand, "oh, yeah, I just hate having to leave little Steven here," she said. Apparently the lady bought it.

"OK, if you'll just fill out this form, please," the second lady, a plump brunette, said, handing Laurie a clipboard.

Laure spent a few minutes scribbling in information before waving goodbye to Hyde. Man, and he thought he was mad after last night. He had to admit, under these circumstances, this was probably the burn of the century.

"OK, Steven, come with me!" The lady at the desk said with far too much enthusiasm. She lead him into a brightly painted class room with little kids, a loft full of toys, and first grade artwork adorning the walls. Great. It was like a sugarcoated prison. _He had to get out of here._

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><p><strong>An: Thank you both again, my two lovely reviewers. The first section of this chapter was inspired by Trillian. I know, he should have been more panicked in the first chapter even if he is zen. I tried to portray it some, but I think I got impatient to get through the reactions. That's always my least favorite part. I need to finish typing the next chapter, but in my head, it shall be cute. In a sad way. I hope you all like it. And I hope you liked this one too, as always, reviews are much appreciated!**


	4. Waiting

**A/N: Oops. I haven't been doing disclaimers. All I own is the plot and any , but you already knew that.**

**This chapter is rated T (I know the whole story is, but this chapter mainly) for language and hints of child abuse. Sadly, I don't think it's as sad as I anticipated. The beginning isn't at all. Also, there will indeed be more Eric/Hyde friendship stuff next chapter.**

This was disgusting. The walls were a pastel pink, like the color of Pepto-Bismol, which Hyde might be needing soon if he was going to be locked in this cheery hell hole too long.

Damn Laurie Forman. He knew he shouldn't have brought up the tail thing! Well, it was too late now. He could either whine about this like a baby or be a man. No man would want to be here, obviously, so the manly thing was to find a way out.

Hyde started formulating a plan in his mind. Step one; try to blend in until he thought of a real plan. Easier said than done.

He took a seat at yellow, smiley face bean bag chair in the corner and decided the _real_ first step was to examine his surroundings.

There were three short round tables, with five cheaply made blue plastic chairs at each, a large wooden toy chest, the loft, filled with teddy bears and dress up clothes (Hyde made a mental note to have somebody shoot him if he ever got the urge to go up there,) a sink, a desk, and a large cabinet of arts supplies.

The windows were low enough and large enough to get through, but he didn't want to _sneak _out, par say, he just needed to get in contact with Kitty or Forman to pick him up. There weren't any phones visible either. _Think, man, _Hyde thought to himself, _how do kids get out of school? _

Well, there was the obvious option of getting sick. In preschool, there was this one kid who used to make himself throw up so he could go home. Hyde laughed, remembering how the kid couldn't stand to be away from his mom. Oh, wait, that was Forman. Nice. He could probably use that for future embarrassment.

Suddenly, a congested voice interrupted his plotting. The voice belonged to a girl, who looked to be about four, wearing a plaid dress. "Hi, my name is Wendy. Who are you?" She asked innocently.

"Steven," Hyde said flatly.

She smiled shyly, "Hi Steve. Do you want to color with us?"

Well then. First of all, he said his name was Steve_n_, second of all, he did _not _want to go color with a bunch of four and five year olds. "No thanks, kid," Hyde said.

"Why not?" That wasn't expected.

"Uh…because, I'm…" Hyde thought.

"A meanie? Do you still think girls have cooties?"

Hyde smiled. "nah, only some of them do."

"Do you think I do?"

"Probably not."

"Then c'mon!" Wendy urged. Hyde reluctantly followed.

Wendy introduced Hyde to her friends at the table. There were two other girls, and a boy. The first girl was a short five year old redhead named Lizzie, and the second was another brunette, who turned out to Wendy's twin, named Jodi. The boy, a tall, blond, six year old, was named Brad.

"How old are you?" asked Jodi. Hyde smirked and answered that he was sixteen. The girls laughed or rolled their eyes, but Brad gasped. "Really?"

Lizzie punched him in the arm. "No, dummy, he's joking," she scolded, passing Hyde a piece of paper.

He reached into the bin in the middle of the table and grabbed a black crayon. Then he had another of those "I can't believe I'm not high or dreaming this" moments. Here he was. Five years old. In a grossly feminine classroom full of real kids, abandoned by his adoptive sister.

"Stevie," Jodi poked Hyde. "You okay? Were you day dreaming?"

"Sure. Yeah," Hyde said, snapping back into (the unfortunate) reality.

He started drawing the outline of a guitar on his paper, slowly adding in details, such as the pegs and strings. He colored it in a deep cherry red, and examined his picture. Man, It looked like his motor skills had been ruined, too. It definitely looked like a kid's picture.

"What's that?" Brad asked.

"It's a guitar," Hyde explained, strumming an imaginary instrument.

Brad scratched his head. "Which kind? The electric kind?" Hyde was impressed. At least one kid here knew about something cool.

He thought for a moment. "Acoustic."

Then, Lizzie sneezed. On Hyde's guitar picture. Apparently one of them did have cooties.

"Sorry," Lizzie said.

Hyde shrugged. There was no way he was going to bring that picture home anyways. He would drop dead if the guys found out about this. That is, if he ever got home.

Nobody knew he was here except Laurie. For the moment, he could only hope that she had enough decency to at least brag to Forman about ditching him.

"Hey," Hyde asked the little kids, "what do you do around here to get home?"

"Isn't your mommy going to pick you up?" Wendy asked.

"Throw up," Brad said.

"Cry," Jodi suggested.

There was no way in Hell he was going to cry. Steven Hyde did not cry. Making himself throw up was starting to look better and better. Which would he rather have the guys know about, crying or forced vomiting? Neither sounded particularly pleasant, but still, he was _not _going to cry. It looked like he was just going to have to man up and stick it out.

"What time does this place close?" Hyde asked, defeated. The kids all mumbled responses. Lizzie was the only one who actually knew that it closed at seven PM.

Hyde looked at the clock. It was only three. God damn it, how could he survive that long?

He looked around again, hoping to find anything that wasn't girly and glittery and cute. He spotted some GI Joes in the corner. Pass. He was too old for dolls. That was it.

Hyde snorted, and got another piece of paper.

_Dear Formans, _he scribbled in awful, unreadable handwriting, _I've been taken hostage by a tribe of primitive people known as "children," thanks to your stupid daughter. Did you know that she's the devil? I'm convinced that she is. I would really appreciate if one of you could come pick me up from this hell hole. _

_-Screw Laurie,_

_Steven J. Hyde_

If only he could mail it in enough time.

* * *

><p>Hyde had written about five more emergency letters and ransom notes by 3:30. He picked up a red marker and suddenly wrote a new letter;<p>

_Dear Edna_

_Fuck you._

He wanted to say more, but he didn't want to be a girl and write about his feelings. He knew he had them, but he was unwilling to provide proof. Hyde was starting to have flashbacks to all of the times Edna failed to pick him up from school, when he would just wait for her in the parking lot for hours, never attempting to call her, until he'd give up and walk, all of the sports she'd never watched him play, all of the times he waited at their crappy house for her to return with whoever she was doing then. Once they got home, he'd cower in his room, waiting for them to get drunk and do whatever they wanted to the vulnerable child at their disposal.

Hyde rubbed his arm, remembering all of it.

He didn't want to wait anymore. Forman would be home soon, and then he would call. He wasn't going to wait this time around.

He waited another half hour, then approached the daycare worker. "Can I call my brother?"

**A/N: In a way, I think it would be better to have Kitty get him, seeing as she is like his mother, but if Eric got home first, he would notice if Laurie was yet to return Hyde. And also, this will lead into the dreaded (by me) friend's reactions chapter. It won't be a repeat the other reactions, I promise. Or, at least, I'll try to change it up.**

**Thanks for reading. As always, please review, I'd love to hear what you guys think.**


	5. At Last

**A/N: I'm having a bad weekend. Can I have some reviews? Pwease? Thank you to all my readers, though, even if they don't review. I broke the 100 visitor mark on this story yesterday, thanks to you guys. Which cheers me up slightly. **

**And, of course, thanks to all my reviewers, too. Trillion, I must say your review did cheer me up. Yeah, I try to update as much as possible. Writing fan fiction is a lot more fun than studying ****J This story, as strange as it is, is one of the main reasons I wanted an account. I have the next chapter or two planned out, which greatly helps with updates. **

**My other story (Stars, a Spring Awakening fic) is never planned, and I just make it up as I go along, yet somehow have been able to update both everyday. OK, enough ranting about myself. Thanks again J**

**DISCLAIMER: I bet you can tell what I own and do not own. Satisfied? J**

**Sorry for the long A/N. Without further adieu…**

* * *

><p>"Kelso, for the millionth time," Donna sighed, "that's impossible. People just don't lose 11 years of their life."<p>

Jackie looked up from her nail polishing, "yeah, unless they get cancer or something."

"Jackie! Anyways, there's no way, Kelso!" Donna asserted.

Fez shook his head as he joined the others in the basement after school. "It's true, my friend. People cannot go from being a man to being a kid again."

Donna stood up. "Eric, since Kelso says you were here when all of this _magically_ happened, can you just shut him up for God's sake?"

Eric looked up at her, wringing his hands. "Well actually…" They all looked at him now. Kelso help up his popsicle in celebration. "See? I told you! Tell 'em, man!"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Well, then where's this 'Mystery Elixir,' huh? If it's real, you should sell it cosmetic companies so they can bottle it and sell it to old people. They've been trying to make something like that for years." She gasped. "Michael! We could be rich! I mean, richer than I am already!"

"No, you can't, because it's not real!" Donna snapped.

"Oh, it better be real, lumberjack! Tell her, Michael!"

"Tell them, Eric!"

"Aye, somebody tell somebody _something_, I am missing Charlie's Angels!" Fez shouted over the impending cat fight. Then realizing that there was a _cat fight _impending, he quickly voiced his new encouragement, preferable if they fought topless.

"OK, guys, shut up," Eric declared suddenly. "Kelso's not lying, as crazy as it sounds." Donna scoffed skeptically, and Jackie cheered.

"Yes! We're going to be the richest couple ever, Michael! Do you know what that means! We could have a butler, and a stable full of horses, and a huge closet for all my clothes and shoes! So where's the bottle?"

"The mystery stuff? Uhh…what did we do with it Forman?" Kelso asked.

Eric walked over to where he had stored the flask. "Uh, guys, I think it evaporated…" he said, holding up the blue-stained glass.

"What?" Jackie yelled. "There goes our fortune."

Donna was about to say something, but was interrupted by the phone ringing.

Eric walked upstairs alone, and put the receiver to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, man. Guess what your bitch of a sister did?"

"Hyde? Where are you calling from?"

"Some daycare place, man."

"A daycare?" Eric laughed. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, try laughing about it once you've been locked in a room full of kids for hours."

"Hours?"

"Yeah. Jesus, can somebody pick me up already? I might shoot myself if I have to stay here 'till it closes, and all they have are water guns."

"OK, OK, I'm coming. Where is it?"

"You think I know? Try asking the Devil, she's the one who ditched me here."

"Laurie? She's not home. When is she ever home unless she's hitting on Kelso or sucking up to Red?"

"Just find her! God damn it…she has all of my new clothes, too. Shit. Can't you just call your mom? She probably knows where stuff is."

"Fine, I'll be there. And stay away from the water guns."

"Hey, man-"

"Bye." Eric hung up. As funny as this was, he was still kind of pissed at Laurie. After all, he liked Hyde way more than Laurie. He even liked _Jackie_ more than Laurie sometimes.

* * *

><p>"Hey, I'm here to pick up Steven Hyde?" Eric said awkwardly to the daycare check-in lady.<p>

"Are you a relative?"

"Yeah, I'm his-brother. So…"

"Forman!" Hyde said, coming out of the classroom. Eric was thrown off at first, he still wasn't used to this tiny Hyde or his new tiny voice.

"You look relieved."

"Yeah, let's go," Hyde rushed him. He wanted to get out and get out fast. Hadn't he suffered here long enough?

After Eric signed some forms and such, the two finally escaped.

"So, you, Steven Hyde, spent the day in a daycare. Even with Zen, that sucks. What did you do all day? Play Duck, Duck, Goose? Color?"

"Why would I do that?" Hyde growled, not wanting to admit that the latter was true.

"So what _did_ you do all day?

"Man, I don't even want to think about it anymore. Just drive. I could really use a hit in the circle right now."

There was a pause before both of them realized what he said. There was no way Hyde got to be in the circle anymore. At least until they returned him to his normal state.

"Damn." Hyde said.

"Has Kelso announced this to they guys yet?"

"Yep. We were just talking about it when you called. Donna still isn't convinced."

"Only Donna? Were you guys in the circle or something? Why would any of them believe it? I still don't want to."

"Yeah, it's weird," was all Eric could think so say.

* * *

><p>Hyde mentally prepared himself for yet another reveal as he trudged down the stairs to the basement. Obviously the relief he had felt from being rescued from the hell hole had evaporated just like the stupid chemicals that did this.<p>

"_I told you!" _Kelso yelled as he pointed at Hyde.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whaddya know, I somehow managed to put of the direct reveal to the gang a bit more. I would include them, but I felt like the chapter would be too long (probably twice as long), so I'm breaking it into two pieces. Is that cool with you guys?**

**I've never included Fez in my imaginary fan fictions in my mind before, I hope I got him somewhat in character. Also, I hope the little kid weren't stereotypically annoying. Well, to Hyde, they were kind of supposed to be. IDK if they'll appear again, but one aspect of that chapter will influence the next two chapters. Also, I know I probably didn't make Jackie shocked enough. After I came up the marketing to cosmetics aspect, I just couldn't really make her. If any of you guys are dissatisfied with that, I'll work on it again. **

**Any hoo, thanks for reading, reviews are love, more cliche signing off things, blah blah blah. And have a good day y'all. **

**-Eliza**


	6. What If

**A/N: Having much better day today. I have a headache, but I also have no home work and ice-cream**** OMG, you all need to try Mango ice cream. It's amazing. **

**OK, back on topic, Thanks Trillion, I was originally going to have Jackie be the one to take him shopping and have Hyde think that she would buy him dresses, but it somehow got changed to a less complicated story line. You'll see how she acts towards him. And Shabbuuu, thank you, too. **

**Wait…never mind, as I was typing this, this has suddenly become an awful, awful day. Reviews please? …My heart has officially been shattered for the day. Therefore, this chapter is short-ish.**

**Geeze, dramatic much? I'll let you read now.**

"Oh my god," Donna sputtered. She had to admit, this little kid looked exactly like the young Hyde she remembered. "It's still not possible."

Jackie sighed, "why did you have to go and waste it on _him_?"

Hyde crossed his arms. "Oh, yeah, 'cause _I'm _really enjoying this."

Kelso examined him. "Dude, why are you wearing nerd clothes?"

"Yes, you look like Eric," Fez agreed.

Hyde took a seat in his lawn chair. "Because my clothes are in Laurie's car," he answered, annoyed.

Donna ignored the clothes talk. "OK, then where were you all day?" Then she gave him a skeptic look. "You know, if theoretically you are Hyde."

Hyde and Forman exchanged a glance. Hyde gave him a look that said he better wipe that smart ass grin off of his face. When neither boy said anything, Jackie smiled. "Ooh, this must be good! Where were you?"

Hyde grimaced. "Nowhere, all right?" He gave the still smirking Forman a death glare similar to Red's. This past twenty four hours sucked enough, he didn't want to reveal any more than he had to. The others decided that it would be best to just drop it…for now.

"So…Hyde?" Donna said, uncertainly. The logical part of her brain was saying that this was impossible, and the other part was saying that it was true, Hyde was right in front of her.

Kelso jumped up so fast, Jackie practically fell off of his lap. "Oh! That reminds me! Did you guys guess the mystery?"

Eric and Hyde looked at him quizzically. "Kelso, what do you mean by 'mystery,' man?" Hyde asked slowly.

Kelso explained his reasoning of the che-mystery box to them and started rattling off what he put in it. "And some bleach for the laundry machine. You didn't guess any of them? Oh, _bam, _I win!"

Everyone stared at him.

"Screw Zen, you're dead, Kelso!" Hyde said, getting up quickly from his chair. After all, where Zen ends, ass kicking begins.

Fez stopped him, making some joke about how Hyde could possibly win in a fight now, which, combined with Kelso's stupidity, made Hyde's Zen subside enough to make him want to go on a face-punching spree.

Forman was physically holding back the struggling Hyde now. "Ok, Ok, everybody just calm down. Kelso, I have to admit, that was stupid even for you."

"Ah!" Kelso squeaked.

"Wait, I'm not done. But…we were kind of just randomly mixing chemicals too, man."

Hyde stopped struggling now.

Donna sighed. "Oh my god, am I surrounded by morons? How could you guys be so stupid!"

Fez raised his hand. "May I just say that I, for one, had nothing to do with this?" he asked, hoping to get the girls' praise.

Jackie scoffed, "yeah, even the foreigner was smarter than you!" Fez nodded, satisfied.

Hyde sat back down. There was a long pause before he spoke up, "what if it's irreversible?"

"You'll have to start school all over," Eric said.

"I'll be out of the circle." That one really silenced them.

"Damn, Hyde…" Kelso said quietly.

"We'll never have another class again together, even if you always ditch class."

"We'll be at college and you'll be in elementary school."

Hyde stood up. "Would you guys knock it off? Yeah, I know. Until somebody thinks of a way to fix this, why don't we just shut up?" He put his hands to his face, suddenly becoming aware that his new sunglasses were still with Laurie. "Damn it," he mumbled softly to himself. They could see the look in his eyes this whole time.

**A/N: bad cut off place, I know, but I wanted to post something and it's getting late. Plus, I'm feeling too self-pitying to think of much else to type at the moment. Anyways. That's all for today. I'll try to post again tomorrow, today has already put me behind on Stars (I like to have the same amount of chapters there as I do here.) Well, hope you guys are having a good day. I said Good day!**

**..sorry...just had to say that one...  
><strong>

**-Eli**


	7. Sugar

**A/N: I was all proud of myself for this being longer than last chapter, than realized it was a lot less. But now I'm happy again because I went back and made it better :) Yay. Anyways, enjoy the newest chapter of Hyde's Redo.**

The rest of the night was spent watching TV, and making awkward small talk. None of them wanted to say too much, for fear of pushing Hyde over the edge. So instead, Fez talked about how much he loved the new hot weather girl, and Kelso agreed before getting smacked in the arm by Jackie, which earned his trademark "ow! _Damn_, Jackie!"

It was pretty quite after that, with only the occasional comment from one of six, except for Hyde, who was refusing to talk unless forced to, until he could get a hold of his damn sun glasses.

"I made brownies!" came Kitty's voice from upstairs. Kelso and Fez took off up the steps, the others following closely behind.

The basement gang was delighted to see a fresh pan of double chocolate brownies. Apparently, only Hyde picked up on the fact that he would only be having this kind of brownie for a few more years now. What a shame. He was going to miss his "special" brownies.

Kelso put one of the desserts on his plated and cheered. "Yes! Mrs. Forman, you're the best! And not just because of your hot-"

"Whoa, Kelso, definitely don't need that metal image." Eric stopped him.

"Oh, Steven, honey," Kitty said, changing the subject, "I'm almost afraid to ask this, but how was your day?"

Hyde set his brownie on a plate and again longed for his sunglasses, remembering all he had said in the notes he wrote that day. "Let's just say that Red definitely deserves to hear about Laurie's summer." God, after today, he'd be happy to watch Red yell at her. In fact, he'd take front row seats. He could only hope that Laurie's affair with Sean barker, who just happened to be Red's _coworker_, would be enough to make him ignore the fact Laurie was his "sweet little girl."

"Do be honest, I'm surprised she even brought you home in one piece." Kitty sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

Hyde laughed. "She didn't."

"Where_ were_ you?" Donna asked again, for the moment satisfied that this was indeed Hyde.

"Not telling," he said before he realized how childish his wording sounded. Man. What if his brain was younger now, too? That would suck completely. He had spent years building up his Zen personality in order to survive his childhood with Edna. It would be a shame to let it faulter because of his own stupidity (admittedly, he was now realizing that it was mostly his own fault for smelling unknown chemicals.)

* * *

><p>The six kids grabbed a few more brownies then returned to their seats by the TV.<p>

"Ugh, Hyde, can you stop shaking your leg?" Jackie demanded.

"Does it bother you?" Hyde asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yes!"

"Then no," he smirked.

She groaned in annoyance. "OK, I know you have no manners, but seriously, you better stop!"

Hyde tried to hold his leg from shaking to no avail. "Guess you'll just have to live with it," he teased her.

He thought back, trying to figure out where the shaking was coming from. Oh. The brownies. Did he seriously have a sugar rush? Well, this sucked.

He excused himself to go upstairs under false pretenses of getting a drink, then opened the sliding door and went out into the drive way.

It just so happened that Red was coming home at this very moment. "What are you doing?" He asked the boy.

"What…does it look like I'm doing?" Hyde said slowly, leg still shaking a mile a minute.

"I don't know, but you better knock it off," he said suspiciously.

As soon as Red was out of sight, Hyde proceeded to run a few laps around the Vista Cruiser in an attempt to kill off the extra energy. Energy and Zen don't mix well, after all.

Once he reached six laps, he trudge back to the basement. "Wow Hyde, sure took you a long time to get that water," Jackie said snidely.

"Whatever." Hyde replied.

After just half an hour, Hyde started yawning. It was only eight thirty, why was he yawning already? Damn, this whole shrinking thing was not working out to his advantage.

"I'm going to bed," he announced quietly, heading off to his room.

"Why so soon?" Fez asked.

"Headache," he lied.

"Aw, Heidi's tired," Eric said in that same stupid sing song voice.

Hyde called back without turning around, "you better remember that sleeping with one eye open thing!" he warned.

* * *

><p>Hyde woke up the next morning with a real headache, but was too thrilled to be in his new clothes (glasses included) to realize the irony. He somehow felt that while wearing a Jimi Hendrix shirt and jeans, this day would be much better.<p>

"Oh, Steven, you're up!" Kitty greeted him as he walked into the kitchen.

Hyde mumbled a weak response and took off his sunglasses to rub his eyes.

"Hi, Hyde," Eric said, equally as mumbled. Hyde took a seat next to him without answering. He picked up a fork and stabbed at the bacon on his plate. "I'm not hungry," Hyde said, his speech not yet lucid after having just woken up.

"Are you getting sick too?" Kitty asked him.

"Sick?" Hyde asked, finally starting to get out of his sleep induced haze.

"Eric's staying home today. There must be a cold going around," she said, still working on a tray of home made cookies.

Hyde shook his head at Eric. "You're staying home for a cold, man? Wimp."

"Yeah, I must have caught the cold I told the teachers you had yesterday," Eric quipped.

"Why? Should've just said I ditched. When do I ever stay home for _colds_?"

"You are today."

Hyde smiled. "Yeah, it's not like there's any other reason I'd stay home today."

"Got a headache?" Eric asked. Hyde nodded, which only aggravated said headache. "Can't breath through your nose?" Hyde nodded once more. "Throat hurt?"

"Man, is there any specific reason why you have to list all of this like a girl?"

Eric shrugged. "Just comparing notes. I didn't know the Zen Master could even _get_ sick."

Hyde crossed his arms. "Yeah, turning five is fine, but getting sick is just _weird, _man," he said sarcastically.

Kitty giggled and put the cookies into the oven. "Well, I guess it's just us three today!" She ended with her signature laugh.

Hyde looked at Forman. Oh _yeah_, what's more fun than a day with your mom and sick brother when you have a cold? God, maybe today wasn't much better after all. "That's cool," he said flatly.

He then remembered the redheaded girl sneezing on him yesterday. Apparently girls did give you cooties.

**A/N: This will lead into the sick de-aged character chapter that all de-aged stories seem to have, but there will be a point to it. I'm not doing it just to be sadistic to Hyde, I promise. Thanks always to my awesome reviewers. **

**PS: while rereading it, I realized I said yesterday when he talked about writing the notes and such, but I think it should be today instead? I don't know, but I edited it to today. not that it matters much. Ok! thanks for reading, and please review!  
><strong>


	8. Sick

**A/N: sorry for the long update time (well, for me anyways, LOL), I was trying to get Stars caught up a bit. **

** I'd like the chapters to be a bit longer than that, but I was eager to update. Oh well, it's a fair length. I hope you enjoy it!  
><strong>

Mrs. Forman brought the boys down some soup and juice, her nurse training and maternal instincts blending into one monstrous pampering machine.

"Thanks Mrs. Forman," Hyde said awkwardly, feeling unused to all of the attention.

"Yeah, thanks, Mom," Eric echoed, even though neither particularly wanted any thing to eat or drink.

Kitty noticed Hyde's awkwardness and said, "oh, Steven, it's no problem."

She knew his mom probably never did anything for him when he was sick, probably just thought it was an inconvenience to her. Apparently Hyde knew what she was thinking.

"Yeah. Edna thought I got sick just to annoy her. She was OK, if she didn't have a guy around, though. Took care of me. Kind of…" Hyde sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Kitty.

Eric turned to face him. "Hyde, remember that time you got strep throat in fourth grade?"

"Yeah, so?"

"She didn't even take you to a doctor, and Kelso caught it. And Kelso was back in two days but you were out all week because she never got you any medicine."

"Yeah. At least she bought me a box of tissues. That's something, right?"

* * *

><p>To put it nicely, Hyde felt awful. Kitty said that adults usually get sicker than kids, yet kids usually felt worse. At the beginning of the day, Hyde was quite smug that even though Forman was now older than him, Forman was still the one acting like a baby. The later it got, however, the manlier Forman took it, and the worse Hyde felt.<p>

He got a migraine around five, and decided to go into his bedroom, where he could enjoy the relief that a dark, quiet room brought. Unfortunately for the mature attitude that he was trying (yet failing) to keep up, he fell asleep before he even realized that he was tired.

He woke up confused. What time was it now? He looked at his alarm clock, which read 8 PM. Damn. He had been napping like a little kid.

His room was hot, so he kicked off his covers and put on short sleeves. When it still felt burning a few minutes later, he decided to go out to the main room in the basement and get ice cream or something.

To his disgust, Eric and Donna were making out on the sofa. "Get a room!" he hollered at them.

Eric turned around quickly in surprise. "Hyde! What are you doing down here?"

"I sleep down here," Hyde answered, confused, "and that's sick, Donna, Literally. You know he's contagious, right?"

Donna giggled. "I was sick anyways. Something's going around school. But unlike Eric, I actually went to school," she teased, turning to face her boyfriend

"No, I mean, I thought you were sleeping." Eric said, getting back on topic. "And my mom wouldn't let me go to school!"

"Sure," Donna laughed.

"Came to get a popsicle, my room's hot," Hyde explained absentmindedly, ignoring the conversation between the two lovebirds as he walked over to the freezer against the wall.

Donna pointed at him. "Wait a minute, how can you be hot? It's the middle of winter and you sleep in a _basement_. Come here."

Hyde put his unopened popsicle back in the freezer, realizing he didn't want it anyway. Hesitantly he asked "why?"

Donna walked over to him and put a hand on his head, causing him to cringe in annoyance and back away. "Hyde, you're hot!"

"Thank you," Hyde said, smirking.

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "no, you're burning. As in, you have a fever."

Hyde shuffled his feet, feeling stupid. Shouldn't he have been able to figure that out on his own? He cast his eyes to the floor, feeling like a kicked puppy for being put in the embarrassing position of being a sick child. "So what do I do?" He asked.

Eric looked over at them, surprised at how much Hyde sounded like a scared little kid. "I could go get my mom," he suggested.

Hyde coughed before adamantly refusing, "Forman, you can't go running to your mom for everything." _More like, Hyde had never been able to run to Edna for anything when he was little_, Eric realized. "But, she's a nurse, man. I mean, _we're_ not doctors, or anything. Can I at least go get her because she actually knows nurse stuff?"

"OK," Hyde said, slumping into his chair.

Donna looked at him. "Wow, you're letting in that easy? You really are sick," she said as Eric went upstairs to wake up the person Hyde needed.

**A/N: I feel sort of bad for making Hyde vulnerable and sick, LOL. Anyways, the next chapter may go one of a few ways: we see what happens after Eric wakes Kitty up (with mothering Kitty, of course, and embarrassed Hyde, would be pure fluff), Hyde could get sicker (as I realized that I had him refuse breakfast and juice and whatnot, and dehydration can accompany fevers. Or sicker in some other way. LOL, I'm so mean to characters), or I skip forwards a few days later, when everyone is pretty much healthy again. I'll be happy to write it whatever way you guys want, but I'm not sure which way that is. Opinions please? I won't start writing it until I have a decent consensus (hint hint)  
><strong>

**Also, thank you Trillion and Shabbuuu for reviewing, and also Meals10 (for the story alert). Shabbuuu, thank you for saying that, and I'm pretty happy that I at least get a lot of views. So much better than getting like one hit a month of FP (I share an account there with Iris Musicia. Any of you guys read X-men FF? You'll find her lurking there). **

**ANYWAYS. Thank you for reading, please review, and please let me know what you'd like to see next chapter.**


	9. Misery Rejects Company

**A/N: Writing these past two chapters is a good excuse to feed my morbid curiosity about medical facts and illness. ****Wow. I'm weird. Anyways, I got a definite NO for skipping ahead (yay!) one vote for mothering, one for sicker (I forgot how sadistic fan people are sometimes.), and one for anything but skipping ahead, so I shall combine the three. Oh, and LOL, I love how veiled threats of stalled posting and making Hyde and Eric well again makes you guys review. That amused me. Anyways, here 'tis!**

Hyde shook his head, trying to knock the tiredness out of himself. Eric had gone upstairs literally ten seconds ago, and he was already half asleep in his chair. In an effort to stay awake, he forced himself to get up and walk around.

He heard hurried footsteps coming down the stairs, no doubt belonging to Kitty. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow. She brought down a good amount of stuff. What did he expect? Not only was she a nurse, but almost paranoid when it came to parenting.

After seeing the miserable state he was in., Kitty stuck a thermometer in his mouth. While she waited for enough time to pass, she spotted his still filled cup on the table. "Oh, Steven, you didn't drink _anything_?" Hyde just shrugged, thermometer still under tongue. Kitty sighed and shook her head.

She finally took the thermometer out and read "102.3," confirming Donna's suspicion.

Hyde licked his lips. "So what do I do about it?"

"Well, unfortunately, in this case, there's not much you can do but rest and stay hydrated, sweetie. Speaking of which, I'm getting you something to drink. And you better drink it this time, mister!" She said determinedly, before going back upstairs.

Again, this week just kept getting worse. How many days had it been, again? Time was blurry now. Maybe three days? He wondered if his inability to figure out how many days it had been was due to his feverish mind, or being younger.

"Here you are, honey," Kitty cooed, handing him a cup of…some medicinal looking drink that he couldn't name. He reluctantly drank it without question. She eyed him, making sure he actually drank something. She didn't want to run the risk of him getting dehydrated.

"So, sleep, and drink water." Hyde said, nodding his head.

Kitty nodded and instructed him to get her again if he needed something else.

He waited until she was upstairs, then turned back to Donna and Forman. "Well, I'll just leave you two to your sick make out session."

Eric, now sitting on the sofa with his arm around Donna, said, "you know, Hyde, you can stay if you want."

"No thanks, man," Hyde said, not wanting to be a third wheel.

He trudged back into his room in the basement. Well, as tired as he was, he was still too miserable to sleep, so there was nothing to do. So, he would just have to be the prisoner of his merciless mind.

Of course, he had to spend a few minutes mentally beating himself up for being so…little. Then he remembered that he was still mad at Kelso and Laurie. He really wanted to rat out Laurie to Red, he realized, then mentally beat himself up some more for the childish wish to tattle.

Of course, then there was school. It had only been two school days, right? So it didn't matter that he was missing school yet, especially since some apparently contagious thing was going around. Although, he'd probably prefer the teachers to think he was smoking pot or whatever they thought he did when he ditched, if only because it made him seem more like his old self. Hyde thought for another minute and then realized something. In his thoughts, he still heard his sixteen year old voice. He sadly said the first thing that came into his mind, just to hear the contrast.

OK, he was already sick, why make himself feel worse by reminding himself of everything that had happened the past however many days? He started looking around his room for something to do. Uh…his math homework from Friday…nope. Man, there was pretty much nothing to do in here. Then again, bedrooms are for sleeping in foremost, not keeping stuff to do when you're going out of your mind. Well, he might as well attempt to fall asleep again.

He got probably an hour or so of feverish, miserable sleep before the sound of people talking woke him up again.

"Sorry to wake you up," came Kitty's motherly voice, "but I thought you should eat something." She handed him a popsicle. It wasn't much as far as food went, but at least it would keep him somewhat hydrated. He thanked her, watching as she smiled and nodded before closing the door behind her.

He wondered if Forman still felt better than him. He didn't like being the less manly one. Hyde smiled slightly, figuring that Forman was the manlier one now anyways. Wait, this was Forman he was talking about. Forman would probably never be manly.

Hyde absentmindedly unwrapped the frozen dessert and took a bite. Before he realized that he had done anything at all, his stomach was in his throat. He gagged until the bite he took was undone.

Hyde took a deep breath, feeling his face grow even warmer with embarrassment. Even if he hadn't been fun-sized at the moment, this would still be pretty embarrassing. In some deep recess of his brain, he wanted to go get Kitty, but the older part of him that was struggling to remain dominant wanted nothing more than to keep this moment unknown.

Unfortunately, time seemed to hate him at that moment, for as he sat there red cheeked and conflicted, in walked a concerned Forman. "Hyde are you OK?" and then his gaze matched Hyde's on the floor and he realized what the gagging sounds he heard from the basement were.

"Forman-" Hyde stuttered dejectedly.

Forman looked at him as if he were reading his thoughts. "I won't tell."

Hyde didn't even look up, but answered quietly. "Thanks, man. Thanks"

**A/N: Is that cut off place OK? Yeah, long chapter, huh? Oh. I looked at the word count, it's actually not. But it felt like it! Hope you guys liked it, and I hope it satisfied what you wanted. I have about three more chapters planned out, but one won't be for a while. I have a very good excuse for the delayed posting, if any of you care that much. **

**Shabbuuu, I hope there was enough mothering Kitty in there for you. I wish I could have put her in there more, but I felt like Hyde, in this miserable state, would want to kind of hide, if you know what I'm saying. I'll always be more than happy to edit it a bit if you'd like, though! And yes, there will be much more Kitty mothering moments in the future.**

**Anyways, let me now what you think!**


	10. Left Behind

**A/N: Yay, tenth chapter! There's a lot of dialogue here, so you'll have to bear with me. Anyways, thanks anyways to my wonderful reviewers. Just you guys wait, chapter eleven is going to be so much fun.**

A few days passed, and Hyde had gotten over being sick. The rest of the basement gang hadn't been to the Forman's since the night they contemplated what would happen if they couldn't get the rebel of the group back to normal.

As Hyde walked down to the basement, he smelled a very familiar scent. His friends were in the circle.

As soon as he reached the bottom step, Kelso started persuading, "Hyde! It's not what it looks like!"

Hyde leaned against the wall. "Really man, 'cause it looks like you're in the circle."

"Oh, well then it's totally what it looks like," Kelso laughed.

"That's cool," Hyde said halfheartedly.

Kelso sighed a sigh of relief, happy that Hyde wasn't going to go off on him this day, adding, "well, in that case, you want a smoke?"

Hyde looked at him quizzically through his mini-aviator shades. "Kelso, man, I know your high and all, but have you gotten dumber?"

Kelso looked up in thought, then laughed, "yeah, maybe!"

Hyde scoffed, deciding not to waste anymore time by a circle he couldn't join in.

"Hey, Mrs. Forman," Hyde said glumly as he joined her in the living room.

"Did you see the kids come in? They'd probably like to see you." She said, wondering why he wasn't with the others.

"Yeah, I saw them."

"You don't want to be downstairs with them?"

Hyde paused. "Not right now."

Kitty cocked her head, her interest peaked. "Is something wrong, Steven?"

He took off his sunglasses and polished them with his Grateful Dead shirt. "No," he said simply.

Kitty smiled and turned sideways to look at the curly haired boy. "You know, Steven," she started, getting ready to prepare the speech she had been planning out, "Red and I were talking the other night…you know that you can live with us as long as you need to, even if, well, if whatever happened doesn't wear off."

Hyde looked down. This again. If he hadn't been so distracted with the flu or whatever that was, he would still be brooding on the possible irreversibility of this…anti-aged state, after everything the gang had said about it.

Kitty spoke up again, knowing that, since this _was _Steven Hyde, after all, no response would come. "And don't worry about how much it costs or anything like that. We want to just like we did when Edna left."

"What about the government?"

Kitty laughed. That was just like her little boy.

Hyde sighed, then clarified, "I mean, they think I'm sixteen. If I never go to school, they'll have the attendance officer after me."

Kitty smiled sadly. "I was going to talk to you about that, but then you were sick…"

This didn't sound like a promising start. "Yeah?" Hyde urged her to continue.

Kitty wrung her slightly wrinkled hands, the same tick Eric had done when he had to tell Donna that Kelso wasn't making things up. "Steven, I'm sorry, but you'll have to go to school again sometime."

Hyde shook his head. "Man, please don't say kindergarten-" he could barely stand to even say it. He almost had to laugh at the situation, just so he wouldn't flip out like he did the other day with the gang.

"Well, when I was working a few days ago, I took out your chart to look at, and I brought it home…"

"And?"

"I realized that we don't actually _know _how-well, how old you are now, which is something that we probably will have to know if we can't get you back soon," she said awkwardly, trying to put things as nicely as possible. By the befuddled (and somewhat annoyed) look of the kid's face, she knew that she still hadn't explained to his satisfaction.

Finally, she worked up the courage to explain that she wanted to measure Hyde, so they could compare his height to his old growth chart and pin point an age.

Hyde hesitated uncertainly before reluctantly standing up, training his eyes on the soap opera Kitty had been watching in an attempt to block out what was going on. He tried not to notice Kitty walking into another room in search of a tape measure, tried to ignore when she stretched it from the floor to his head, keeping his eyes focused intently on the television set as she compared his height to his old pediatric growth chart.

He stood quietly for a few minutes before allowing himself to gradually sink back into the living room sofa. There was a seemingly unending, insurmountable awkward pause as neither of them quite wanted to hear the results out loud. An uncountable about of time passed before Hyde finally gave in. "Okay."

Kitty silently handed Hyde the paper, pointing to the intercept on the chart correlating to his current height. Hyde took a deep breath, then dared himself to read it.

He felt a slight lunge in his stomach as he read the numbers. "four years, ten months." His face grew hotter than it had been with the fever, hotter than after he threw up right before Eric walked in. He wasn't even five. Not even old enough for kindergarten.

He didn't care if Eric had proven to be good at keeping secrets, he wasn't telling _anybody _about this.

"Steven, there's nobody home during the day…" Oh God, she was going to make him go back to the hell hole!

"This is _Point Place, Wisconsin_, I don't think there are many kidnappers or anything around here."

"I know, but just in case-"

"I think I'd rather take my chances," Hyde ended as he sulked down into his room to mentally beat himself up harder than ever before.

**A/N: Tada! Whaddya think? Yes, his age here was planned from the beginning. Remember, reviews are great, as are my reviewers.**** Does flattery work? I think next chapter, though I haven't started typing it yet, is one of my favorites. It'll be fun, I promise. **


	11. Eight Hours

**A/N: This chapter ended up being super long, so I'm breaking it up. Which means the next updates shall come as soon as I get enough reviews, because the next chapter is already typed. You know, it's so long, it may turn into three. Or maybe two extra long ones. I dunno. We'll see.**

**Ok, so I was listening to Jekyll and Hyde Confrontation, and I thought about **_**this**_** Hyde. It nagged me to work on this chapter. Then I somehow ended up listening to Hendrix, Zeppelin, and Jethro Tull…glad I did. That's good stuff, man. (Yeah, I could go into a super long Hyde related story here, but I won't)**

**Special thanks to Christineexx and Nannygirl, who I have not mentioned yet. Christineexx and I had a rather interesting little conversation about Danny Masterson and this…**

**Alright, I'll stop holding you up. Hope you enjoy, and please review!**

* * *

><p>The next morning, Hyde put on a KISS shirt and some bell bottoms in addition to his new glasses, which he had never let out of his sight since that night the guys found everything out. If he was being forced to go back to that <em>God awful <em>daycare, he was at least going to look somewhat cool doing it.

He took his usual seat at the kitchen table, greeted Kitty, Red and Forman, and smiled at Laurie. Eric looked back at him. "Hey, Dad, how's work been going?"

Hyde looked at him and smirked. "Oh yeah, weren't you just talking about one of Red's coworkers, Laurie? Sean something?" Well, it wasn't tattling if Eric started it, was it? Then again, the "he started it!" argument was pretty childish, too…screw it, Laurie deserved to be tattled on.

Red looked at his daughter, wondering what the hell his dumb ass son was talking about.

"Yeah, Laurie, weren't you saying that you-" Eric continued, before getting cut off by the she-devil

"Shut up, loser," Laurie hissed.

"Hey," Red started, "stop harassing your sister, Eric, or-"

"Yeah, yeah, or else you'll stick your foot up my ass."

Kitty looked at the possible fight impending. "So who wants more pancakes?" She laughed, trying to change the subject.

Red shook his head and stood up. "Are you ready to go, Steven?"

Hyde tilted his head in confusion. "Where are we goin'?"

"Daycare," Red said, as if Hyde was supposed to know that Red was the one who was going to drive him. Jesus, man, this day was off to a worse start than he anticipated.

Laurie snorted in laughter. Hyde wanted to give her the finger, but remembered that Red and Kitty were still in the room.

"Oh! That reminds me," Eric announced happily, "I got you this, Hyde." He reached under the kitchen table and produced a cheap, green, plastic squirt gun, and handed it to Hyde. The younger boy turned it around in his hands and scoffed. "Thanks, man. I'll need it," he laughed, causing Kitty to look at the two boys in bewilderment.

"Alright, let's go. Laurie, Eric, I'm not done with you," Red said in annoyance as he stood up and opened the door.

Hyde sauntered outside after Red, water gun in hand. He jumped into Red's car (with some difficulty at this shrunken height,) and buckled himself in with an uncontrollable pout. He lifted the squirt gun up, hoping he'd survive the day without it; not that it could do much, anyways. Well, if he got desperately bored, he could squirt the little preppy girls.

He watched as the house gradually disappeared through the window, wanting for the first time in his life to just be able to go to high school again. This whole five year old - ok, technically not _quite_ five, but nobody had to know that - thing was getting old.

Neither Red nor Hyde particularly wanted to strike up a conversation, so it was a long, quite, and awkward ride to the damn daycare that Hyde was being forced to attend. Finally, the tension between the two was suspended as they pulled up to the familiar, sun shiny child care facility. God, Hyde _really _wished he could go in the circle today. Well, he'd have to make do with a water gun and pure Zen.

Hyde put on his aviators as he strolled into the stupidly happy, and seemingly welcoming building. Yeah, right. It was welcoming as hell, it's appearance was just a façade to trick parents.

Red had to sign the same papers that his daughter had, and Hyde had to laugh at the secretary's initial confusion; she had been told that Laurie was the boy's mom, and now Red was saying that Hyde was _his _kid. And Laurie was so much younger-Red quickly cleared thing up, with plenty of annoyance.

"Alright…good bye, Steven," Red said to the boy, and then quietly, so only he would hear, "don't be a dumb ass today."

Hyde nodded with a smirk. "Hey, one thing; how long am I being abandoned here?"

Red shrugged. "Only to about four. Five at the latest."

Hyde did the math on his fingers. "Eight hours? Are you serious, man?" he started to ask, before remembering that it was better to stay on the man's good side. "That's cool. See you later, man."

* * *

><p>"Steve! You came back!" Hyde was bombarded by greeting from his little coloring buddies. He quietly greeted the four kids in return, realizing that he wasn't going to get off by sulking in the corner all day. No, if he did, Wendy would probably harass him into joining them again.<p>

It occurred to him out of the blue that since he wasn't _technically _even five, he was no among the youngest of the kids. He just hoped that Jodi was older than him. He knew Jodi was the youngest, because Wendy had pointed it out several times last Monday whilst they had been coloring. Man, if he was the youngest here-saying that would suck would be an understatement. I occurred to him after _that _that he still had the option of lying about being five to the daycare bunch. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Hey, wanna play cops and robbers?" Lizzie asked the others. Hyde grinned. It seemed rather appropriate, since this place practically was a prison. Even the structure; there were a few hours of having nothing to do, and times of strict orders from the authorities. Weird-he had always thought that when he went to jail, it would be a _real _correctional facility, a penitentiary, a real prison. Not this. Nothing like this, because just a week ago, he wouldn't have dreamed of being like he was now.

"Cops and robbers? I don't even remember how to play that game," Hyde told the kids.

Wendy giggled, "what do you mean you don't _remember _how to play?" It was a fair enough question. What could he say? Man, he was going to have to watch what he said if he wanted to blend in. Luckily, Wendy didn't give him time to answer, just grabbed his arm and pulled him along.

Hyde gave in, but got reprimanded by Wendy for just sagging along behind, instead of running. "C'mon, Steve! It's just like tag! Just _run_, and don't get caught!" she explained. Hyde groaned in annoyance, but gave in and played tag with the kids. He was already figuring out that this day was going to be like a shot; it only lasts longer when you fight it.

Yeah, it was still going to be a long day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN; Yeah. Not my favorite chapter, but the action doesn't happen until the next part of this unreasonably long chapter. Seriously, I might have to break it into three parts by the time I'm done. I hope you guys don't mind the little kids. They're mainly there to move the plot along. Oh, but I did think of one aspect of one of them that I'm rather proud of. You'll what one or two chapters from now. Yeah, so let me know what you think. **


	12. Jail

**A/N: Here we are, the second part of the mega-chapter. And Red meant it when he said he wasn't done with Eric and Laurie. I'll come back to that. Oh, and thank you my new reviewer Sarah! Glad you like little Hyde. **

**Hope none of you mind all of these daycare setting chapters or lots of dialogue. It was intended to be one chapter, but with everything I wanted to include, it expanded…which reminds me, what would you think of the rest of the gang at school without Hyde for a chapter or part of a chapter at sometime in the future? Let me know in reviews **_**hint hint**_

Hyde got away with hanging out on the sidelines for a while longer, joining every childish activity that Wendy and the others dragged him into, until "quiet time was called."

Hyde stayed in his spot, stony faced and certainly not amused. He feared that he would be forced to nap (yeah, right), but Lizzie quickly allayed his fears, explaining that you just had to stay quiet for half an hour while they played a movie.

"So it's like lights out in a jail?" He asked sarcastically.

"What? They just want you to shut up so their brains don't explode," Lizzie answered, not knowing what "lights-out" meant. _Of course_, Hyde thought, _typical selfish authority. _"This place is like a prison," he told her, taking a look at the water gun in his pocket.

Lizzie nodded. "Yeah, Brad says that, too. He always says that it's like being in a jail. But he's just playing pretend. Brad's…weird."

Hyde smirked. He was really starting to like this Brad kid. He knew about guitars, he thought the place was a jail, he was dumb enough to believe that Hyde was sixteen…yeah, this kid might make the day less hellish.

Ten minutes later, Hyde sat in contempt, tempted to yell something about freedom of speech and whatnot. Instead, he remembered his mantra for the day; it goes by quicker if you don't fight it. Normally, he would say screw going by quicker, some stuff should be fought, but today, he just wanted to survive without losing his mind for eight hours.

A bloody, boring half hour passed before the kids were allowed to exercise their freedom of speech again.

"So Brad," Hyde started nonchalantly, approaching the taller boy, "you think this place is like jail, too."

"Yeah," Brad said, a dumb smile on his face, "I pretend that Miss Caroline and Miss Eva are the wardens, and the loft is a cell, and Lizzie is the head of the prisoners."

Hyde nodded, satisfied with Brad's answer. "Why's Lizzie the head, man?"

"Because she gets in trouble all of the time and has to sit in the corner!"

"Solitary confinement," Hyde offered.

"Yeah," Brad agreed, eager to impress Hyde, even if he didn't know the meaning of solitary confinement. This Steve kid seemed to know big words, and Brad was impressed.

Later that day, Hyde had been dragged to the coloring tables by Wendy yet again.

"What are you drawing, Stevie?" Hyde didn't even have to look up to tell that that was Jodi. She was the only one who insisted upon making even more of a mockery out of his name than the others.

"A leaf," he said with a devilish grin. _Yeah,_ _A pot leaf._

"Leaves are boring," Wendy insisted.

Hyde grinned again. "No, not all of them."

"Do you like nature because you're a hippie?" Jodi asked.

"Yeah, something like that, man."

"My sister says hippies like mushrooms," Lizzie said, grabbing a dark purple marker to draw on Brad's hand with while he wasn't looking.

"…yeah, you could say that."

"What's so great about mushrooms?"

"Uh…I shouldn't be telling ya this."

Wendy turned to Lizzie. "How come your sister tells you all this stuff but never tells you why?"

Lizzie shrugged and started to scribble on Brad's hand. "Because she's mean."

Hyde laughed. "No, that ain't mean. That's keeping stuff classified, man."

"How would you know?"

"Dude, I have a sister, too. And she's a bitch." They all looked at him.

"What?" Hyde asked, truly not knowing what he had done. And then came that moment where he suddenly realized that he has cussed in front of small children. "Damn it…" and now he had done it again. He was about to say "Fuck," but put a hand over his mouth just in time. Unfortunately for the pint sized Zen Master, a boy at the next table had heard and was already telling one of the day care wardens. "You're tattling on me? Really, man? That's lame."

"Steven," came one of the "warden's" sugar coated voices, "do you know that bad words aren't allowed?"

"Yeah," Hyde said bluntly.

"And do you know that what you said was bad?"

"Sure do," he said without a trace of guilt, as the warden led him to solitary. Being busted by the man actually felt kind of good, even if it _was _just for cussing.

It turned out that solitary confinement was outside the classroom, facing the corner next to the door. On the short walk there, Hyde was given some lame spiel about "bad words" from the warden, which he promptly laughed at before tuning out. He was told that he would have to stay out there for ten minutes, and was put under watch of the secretary as Warden Caroline went back into the classroom.

Five minutes in solitary. It was a start, man.

_Five minutes. Five, fucking, endless minutes_, Hyde thought to himself,_ When the hell did five minutes get so long? Zen, man, Zen. At least you're away from that crap in there. Five minutes outta there...yeah, I can totally do this, man. Easy. _

It was quiet out here, like a sound chamber or something.

_Enjoy it, man. Won't have it for another seven hours. Seven hours…damn, that's a long time. Drawing pot leaves can only last me so long…what the hell am I gonna do all day? _

He looked at the clock. Still four minutes of doing nothing before he was forced to do even more nothing.

Eventually, Brad and Lizzie came out to get him, Brad heading off to the bathroom on the way. It just happened to be the _girl's _bathroom, but Hyde wasn't about to tell him that.

"Brad, that's not the boys-" Lizzie tried to warn him, but Hyde shushed her.

"Lizzie, never stop a burn," he instructed her.

"What's a burn?" She asked, right before hearing girls screaming, followed by Brad running out, red faced.

Hyde smirked, satisfied. "That's a burn."

* * *

><p>After teaching Lizzie about burns, they went back into the classroom, where it was announced that they would be going outside. Hyde begrudgingly got in line with the other kids, adjusting his sunglasses, rolling his eyes at the lame fight being had over who got to be "conductor" and "caboose" in the line. Man, he was way to old for this crap.<p>

"Hey, Steve, wanna go on the monkey bars?" Lizzie asked after they reached the playground, a bright monstrosity all in primary colors.

"Whatever," Hyde replied ambiguously.

Lizzie gave him a confused look. "So you _do _want to?"

"That's cool."

"What does that mean?"

"Exactly, young grasshopper," Hyde smiled, crossing his arms.

Now all four of the kids were looking at him, completely confused. "OK," Brad said, changing the subject. "Guess what happened with my brothers yesterday?"

"What?" Jodi asked in excitement.

Brad shifted his feet, getting ready for his story. "OK, so my biggest brother was being a jerk, so my other brother tells him to knock it off, and they got in a fight, and it was like-" Brad paused, demonstrating a kick on midair. "And then my first brother got mad and he went like this!" Brad illustrated by thrusting his fist forwards in a punch-straight into Hyde's eye.

"Brad!" Hyde said, stumbling backwards, hand over eye. Surprisingly, it actually hurt, despite Brad's young age. Damn, he hoped it wasn't like being sick where kids just thought everything hurt worse than it did. Still-it hurt, man.

Brad looked stunned. "I…sorry, Steve…why does that always happen?"

Wendy moved Hyde's hand and looked at his eyes. "That's gonna be a shiner."

"Jesus, man." Hyde said, rubbing the area around his eye.

"Sorry!" Brad repeated, trying to fix his mistake.

"I'm getting Miss Eva!" Jodi announced, dashing towards the wardens. Hyde shook his head. Why did everyone have to run to get a grown up every time something happened to him? He could deal by himself. He always had before, and he wasn't adjusting to this attention well.

Of course, he was forced then to go ask for an ice pack up front. To his shock, _Kelso's mom _was at the desk.

"I'm here to pick up Brad," she told the secretary, who went outside to retrieve the six year old.

"Mom!" Brad said, running to Mrs. Kelso.

"Wait-" Hyde said, icepack forgotten. "you're _Kelso's_ brother?"

Man…well, that explained a lot.

**A/N: Bad cut off place? OK cut off place? Next chapter, I think Hyde will be freed from the "hell hole," Red will continue his talk with Laurie, the last part of this chapter will be revisited (though this time, I honestly don't know if the daycare will reappear-the kids might, at least one more time. I might force Hyde to go to a kid's birthday party. Maybe) Yeah. Next chapter will be interesting with Laurie. Either that, or it will start off with the rest of the gang in school without Hyde. And the one after that is going to be cute (and in the basement again). OK, enough spoilers, let me know what you thought in a review :)  
><strong>


	13. School

**A/N: This takes place the same time the last two chapters did, but at the high school. I think I like this chapter…Hope you enjoy **

"Alright, everyone open up their books to page sixty six," Eric and Donna's science teacher instructed. Donna flipped to the desired page and picked up her pen, twirling it between her fingers. "You know what, Eric? Science sucks without Hyde."

"Yeah," Eric agreed, "I'm starting to miss being called a scrawny girl every class."

Donna smiled, "There are plenty of people who still call you that every class. But, yeah. I'm starting to miss him."

Eric nodded and copied down the questions at the end of the chapter. "Hyde's still kind of pissed."

Donna put her pen in her mouth. "Oh yeah. Poor Hyde, this must suck the most for him."

Eric looked at her, eyes shining brightly. "On the bright side, I'm pretty sure Red is going to kick Laurie's ass tonight, so that'll cheer him up. Red's probably going to go on an ass-kicking rampage after he finds out, and go kick Sean's ass, too."

"You better hope he doesn't get fired for that, then you'll be living with an even more pissed off than usual Red." Both of the kids laughed at this.

Mr. Miranda, the chemistry teacher, walked over to Eric then, asking "hey, how's Steven? Still sick?" Unlike most teachers, this one actually liked Hyde and saw potential in him. Eric and Donna like Mr. Miranda too, because as far as teachers went, he was pretty cool. The upperclassmen, in a representation of his coolness, had told all of the freshmen that he could levitate, making him cool from before they even had him.

"Hyde? Yeah, still sick." Eric answered him

Mr. Miranda shook his head. "Geez, man, he must be, like, _dying _if he's been out that long. Hyde's a tough kid, I didn't think he ever stayed home."

"Yeah, and you know my mom, she's making a big deal out of it…" Eric said awkwardly.

Mr. Miranda nodded. "Yeah, well, tell Steven that when he's done coughing up a lung, or whatever's bringing him down, he better come back."

Eric laughed, "I'll tell him" He watched the teacher until he was out of hearing range. "OK, Donna, what am I going to do about that? I can't just say he's sick everyday until we fix him."

Donna looked out the window in thought. "Eric, I don't…how do you plan on getting him back to normal?"

"I don't know! How am I supposed to know? Maybe it'll just, like, wear off…eventually."

"Yeah, in eleven years, maybe.," Donna argued, frustration palpable in her voice. "I mean, seriously, Eric, what if he's stuck this way?"

"I guess-eventually, we'll have to say he dropped out," he figured, unwilling to address the possibility any further than school excuses.

They sat there, bookwork forgotten, Donna's eyes glaring into Eric's, which were looking down at the table.

"Donna, c'mon. It's like you're trying to stare into my brain. It's creeping me out." At this, Donna rolled her eyes, though she knew that Eric was freaked out by the possibility of Hyde being stuck this way, not by her staring. "I mean, a few days ago, I wouldn't believe it, but…" She trailed off.

"I know what you mean. Still doesn't make sense."

They silently answered a few more questions out of their textbook, almost wanting to forget about Hyde for the moment.

"Hey," Donna started after a few minutes, "what was it like the day it happened?"

"To watch it?"

"Yeah."

"Uh…trippy."

Donna laughed a bit. "No, really."

"Again, Donna, trippy. I mean, shrinking…and Kelso….and Hyde…it was weird, man!"

"Oh, very descriptive. How did Hyde take it?"

"He's Hyde; he thought he was high, then started ranting about government conspiracies."

Donna brushed the hair out of her face and laughed. "Of course!"

Mr. Miranda came back to their table. "Hey lovebirds, I hope you're getting your work done." The young couple nodded, making sure to finish their assignment before talking again.

Donna was the one to start talking once they had finished, "so how-"

"OK, who can tell me what meiosis is? How 'bout Eric?" Mr. Miranda's voice filled the room.

Eric, caught off guard, immediately jumped up from his spot, knocking his his backpack over, spilling it's contents all over the marbled floor. "Me? Me…iosis. Yeah. The thing where…OK, to be honest, I wasn't paying attention."

"Clearly," Mr. Miranda scoffed, "because if you were, you would have noticed that that's a biology question, and we're learning chemistry." The other kids giggled at Eric's reprimanding as the bell rang.

"Remember to finish chapter thirteen!" Miranda called after the students.

"Smooth, Eric," Donna chided at his locker.

"But-you're the one who kept asking me stuff!"

"Or was I?" She said, eyebrow raised in question.

Eric stopped walking. "Wait…what?"

That night, Eric was watching TV downstairs with the guys when his mom arrived home, bringing Hyde home with her.

"Five at the latest, my ass," Hyde huffed to himself, entering through the basement door.

"Hey, orphan," Jackie smiled cruelly. "Guess where you were all day?"

Hyde looked at her, frowning. "I could, except I already know where I was. No guessing there, man."

Jackie's smile widened. "I know, too!"

Hyde exhaled, nodding his head slowly. "Speaking of guessing, Forman, why don't you guess whose ass I'm about to kick?"

Kelso's eye's lit up. "Oh! Is it Forman's?"

"Yup." Hyde was about to stand up, when Red came storming downstairs, the few hairs he had standing up. "I want all of you dumb asses out!" Realizing that he was not in a mood to be reckoned with, Donna, Fez, Jackie, and Kelso all hurried out of the basement, slamming the door behind them.

"Oh no, Hyde, I think we may have missed the ass-kick-athon," Eric said in his smart-alecky tone.

"Did you stick your foot up Barker's ass yet, Red?" Hyde asked, moving his chair forward so he could put his feet up on the table.

"You two shut up. Where's Laurie?"

"Gee, Dad, if I had to guess, I'd say in some guy's bed," Eric quipped.

"Not a smart move, Forman," Hyde warned, shaking his head.

"One," Red started, "two."

Eric took a few steps in anticipation.

"Forman, man, I think you got about three seconds to haul ass before there's a foot up yours," Hyde explained.

"Bingo," Red smiled wickedly, chasing his son upstairs.

**A/N: OK, apparently I didn't get to revisit the Brad/Kelso situation. It'll happen soon enough. Next chapter, something will happen that I've had planned since before I got an account. Yay! **

**Oh, you know what's ironic? A few days after I posted the sick chapters, I caught a much milder version of what Hyde had. Though the irony amuses me, I almost wish I could type more sick chapters. Hey, if I'm lucky, I'll get sick enough to stay home, then I can type more, LOL.**

**Remember, please review. The more reviews I get, the faster I update (veiled threats of late posting worked last time, haha) Seriously, though. Let me know what you think :)  
><strong>

**-Eliza**


	14. Kelsos and Eyes

**A/N: This chapter takes place the next day. So I was watching the Class Picture episode, I suggest you watch it if you want a mental image of little Hyde, there's a seven-ish year old Hyde in there. Good episode. Yay, more Laurie this chapter!**

"Whoa, Hyde, don't-" Eric stopped Hyde, who was attempting to pull a rack of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. Hyde rolled his eyes, but did back away from the oven. "Why?" He asked in annoyance.

"Cause, pans are heavy and you're-"

Hyde stopped him before he embarrassed him further. "Fine, man, you get them out." Forman got up from the kitchen table and picked up the tray, quickly pulling his hands away in pain.

"Ha ha," Hyde said, sticking his tongue out. "Burn. Literally."

"Ah, literal burns, the most painful kind," Fez smiled. Kelso high-five him, despite arguing, "no way, Fez, there are some pretty wicked burns that don't have actual burning in them."

* * *

><p>After Eric's mom bandaged up his hand, the kids were downstairs talking about Kelso's latest embarrassment when Laurie slithered downstairs.<p>

"Way to tattle on me, losers," Laurie spat.

"It's the burn cycle, man. You burn me, I burn you," Hyde reasoned.

"Whatever, orphan."

"Bitch.

"Shrimp"

"Whore."

"Baby."

"Shouldn't you be removing Red's foot from Sean's ass so you two can get back to it?"

"Shouldn't you be in footy pajamas playing with dollies?" She cooed.

"I dunno, shouldn't you be clearing out all the pharmacies of their penicillin?"

"Shouldn't you be drawing with your little coloring buddies?"

"Shouldn't you…" Hyde scrunched his eyes together. "Damn it."

Kelso interrupted their battle. "Burn! Dude, you lost to Laurie!" He announced ecstatically. "See Fez, now _that's_ a nice burn."

Fez shook his head. "Hyde lost to Laurie? Ai, what is the world coming to?"

Laurie stuck her tongue out at Hyde in a smiling victory before going back upstairs. Hyde turned around, taking his glasses off, revealing the faint black eye that had formed the night before. "Oh my god, Hyde," Donna said upon seeing it, "how did that happen?"

Hyde had completely forgotten about the black eye Brad gave him, until she asked, considering his glasses completely covered it. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. Kelso, I'm pretty sure that your whole family is made up of morons."

"Uh!"

Jackie waved it off. "Don't worry, baby, who needs to be smart when you've got_ those_ cheekbones?"

He smiled at her. "Yeah. Thanks, baby."

Fez glared at the appearance obsessed couple. "Kelso, you bastard, nobody cares about your cheekbones, let Hyde finish!"

"Kelso's moron brother punched me in the face," Hyde continued, sitting on the back of the sofa.

Donna shook her head. "Casey? Kelso, your brother's a dill hole!" Kelso nodded in agreement. He had been trying to convince people of that since he was a kid.

"No, not that one, the little one," Hyde said, not wanting to give too much away. "Not that that means Casey isn't a dill hole."

Kelso turned around to get a better look at Hyde. "Wait, you mean Nicole?"

Donna face palmed herself. "No, stupid, he said_ brother_."

Jackie nodded, though she did add, "even though Nicole is pretty manly looking with all those whiskers."

"My family doesn't have whiskers!" Kelso protested adamantly.

Jackie crossed her arms, frowning. "No, only the uggo _girls_ in your family."

"Jackie!"

"I'm sorry, Michael, but they do have whiskers."

Hyde nodded, glad that his black eye was temporarily forgotten. "Yeah, man, they're like catfish or something."

"Hey! Can we just stop talking about my family's whiskers!" Kelso yelled, then corrected himself, "you know, which they _don't_ have!"

Eric nodded, "yeah, I for one, want to hear how Kelso's little brother beat up Hyde!"

Hyde rolled his eyes. "You never learn, do you, Forman?"

Forman bit his lip in pretend contemplation. "You know, I tried learning, but according to Red, I'm just too much of a dumb ass."

"Dude," Hyde scoffed, "you just burned yourself."

Eventually, after he could no longer deflect the conversation, Hyde was pressured into telling the gang about how Brad gave him a black eye. He loathed telling them the story. It made him sound so weak and lame.

"I told you!" Jackie shouted, reading between the lines and putting the pieces together. "So you _did_ go to daycare!"

"_What_?" The previously uninformed members of the gang shouted.

Hyde stuck his tongue in his cheek. "No, I didn't!"

"I can prove it!" Jackie argued. "Mrs. Forman told me!"

Eric started chuckling, slowly swinging his head from side to side. "Well, well, well, Hyde. Looks like you were wrong about who told her. Want to take back that ass kicking threat now?"

Hyde looked up at the ceiling for a moment, thinking. "Nope."

Donna gestured to Hyde, "wait, so all this time, that's where you were that one day?"

"And yesterday, my little brother beat him up yesterday," Kelso clarified.

"He did not, man. He was acting out some fight between you and Casey and missed. "

Kelso smiled that goofy grin of his. "Dude, so you were Casey and Brad was me? Awesome! Oh, it was so cool, you guys. Casey kicked me in the shin, and I totally socked him in the eye, like this!" He, in the exact same manner as Brad, demonstrated his punch, punching Hyde in the eye, sending him falling backwards onto the floor.

Hyde took a few deep breaths, hand over his other eye.

"Kelso, you bastard," cried Fez.

"Oh my god, Hyde," Jackie gasped, "are you going to cry?"

Hyde took a few seconds before saying a definitive "_no_." After a minute, he slowly got up and made his way over to Kelso, punching him as hard as possible in the knee.

"Ow! Damn, Hyde!"

"What is it with Kelso's and eye punching?" Great. Now he was probably going to get a second black eye. Well, it looked like Laurie was going to be adding "raccoon" to her list of Hyde insults now.

**A/N: I'm going to cut it off there so this won't turn into a mega chapter like the last bit. I do feel bad for hurting Hyde repetitively, but don't worry, I don't think any Kelso's will be punching him again soon. Next chapter…umm, Oh yeah! Next chapter is at the Hub. I thought it might be nice for them to get out of the basement some more. Hope you didn't mind me temporarily making Hyde a "raccoon," lol, he'll be fixed soon. And oh my god, I just thought of the best chapter ever!**

**For some reason, FF was saying this was an empty document...made it quite difficult to post. And thank you, reviewers. I'll stop using veiled threats now :P**

**Reviews, pweez!**


	15. The Hub

**A/N: This is one of those "T" chapters, for the F bomb, and Kelso's flashback. Nothing too serious at all, just a warning. Not even worth mentioning really. ANYWAYS. Like I said last chapter, this chapter will take place at the Hub starting about halfway through.**

"Fez?" Hyde asked upon entering Laurie's room. "What are you doing in the she-devil's room?"

Fez spun around suddenly from being caught, clutching several pairs of frilly panties to his chest. "Oh, you sonavabitch," he yelled in surprise. "I mean, what are you doing in here?"

Hyde scanned the hallway then shut the door. "I'm hiding from Mrs. Forman. She's chasin' me around trying to give me stuff for my black eyes. What are you doing with Laurie's underwear?"

"Oh, uh…" Fez looked around, trying to think of an answer. "Looking for change? In her underwear drawer?"

Hyde shook his head. "Fez, man, lame excuse. What if it was Red? He'd kick your ass back to your native country. But here in America, it's custom to pay up for not being ratted out."

"Isn't that like blackmailing?"

"Yup. Pay up." Hyde held out a hand, waiting for money.

Fez rooted around in his pockets, sifting through their contents. Candy, candy, candy, more candy, melted candy, picture of the weather girl, chewed gum, picture of Donna and Jackie, more candy, and a quarter that he found in Donna's closet. "Fine," Fez pouted, reluctantly handing over the spare change. "Why don't you just take Laurie's money?"

"I can't take that, man! That's dirty money. Besides, I already cleared out her piggy bank last night."

"Ai, when are you going to be done burning Laurie?"

"Not anytime soon, Fez. She didn't just burn me. It was like a mega burn. She gave me a fourth degree burn, man." Laurie dropped him off at a daycare, and thanks to her, he was dropped there again. Not only that, but she beat him in an insult competition! No, tattling didn't even come close to getting her back. He knew revenge was a vicious cycle, but his badass reputation was on the line.

A second later, in walked a mildly irritated Donna. "There you-Fez?" Donna waved it off, "I don't want to know. Hyde, do you want to go to the Hub with us, or not?"

Hyde hesitated. Normally, he wouldn't even have to be asked, but things were different now. Things were pathetically lame for Hyde. "Uh, pass."

Donna put her hands on her hips. "If you don't come, I'm telling Mrs. Forman where you're hiding."

"Blackmail. Kinky, I like it," he joked.

"I know…" Fez added. The other two looked at him. "Fez, man," Hyde started, "that's sick."

"Again, I don't want to know. Anyways, you're coming Hyde," Donna declared, pointing her finger at him.

Hyde began to protest. "Donna, I-"

"There you are, Steven!" Mrs. Forman waltzed into the room. "Can I please just see your eye for one minute?"

"Man, Mrs. Forman, I'd let you, but we were about to go to the Hub," Hyde explained, making Donna smile.

"Oh, Steven, I can't let you go out with two black eyes!" Kitty insisted, "what will people think?"

"Probably the same thing they did the first time around," Hyde said as he left with Fez and Donna, not giving her enough time to respond.

"Michael, I didn't even know you had a brother named Brad," Jackie mused as she sipped her coke at their favorite table at the Hub, surrounded by her five friends.

"Well, that's because I have a bad association with Brad," Kelso explained, surprising everyone with his correct use of the word "association."

It was ten years ago, and young Kelso had just gotten home from playing with the neighborhood dogs. Unfortunately, that bully kid Hyde had punched him in the eye again on the way back, and Eric's mom had said to put some ice on it. He had checked the freezer, but all it had was a box of popsicles with the words "property of Casey Kelso," written on it. So, naturally, Kelso decided that he should ask his mom. He really didn't want to have his gorgeous face marred by a black eye, and he figured that his mom would feel the same way. Thus, he figured that she wouldn't mind if he interrupted her alone time. You see, every now and then when Kelso's father arrived home, his parents would go upstairs for what they had dubbed "alone time." So, when he made his way up to the master bedroom and opened the door-

"You walked in on your parents doing it?" Eric asked.

"Yeah," Kelso said, "and nine months later, Brad was born."

Jackie immediately stood up, almost knocking her soda onto Donna. "EW! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! That's disgusting!"

"God, Jackie, I wasn't too happy about it either," Kelso exclaimed.

Jackie seated herself and smoothed out her skirt. "You're right Michael," she tried again. "That must have been awful for you, too," she cooed, stroking his hair as he ate his french-fries with a smile. "Just imagining it is bad enough, but seeing it…EW!" She flinched.

"Jackie," said Hyde, "he wasn't scarred for life, he told the entire fifth grade about it."

"Yeah, because it scarred me for life!" Kelso argued.

"You guys," Hyde said in a mocking tone, "guess what I saw my parents doing?"

"Hyde, shut up!" Kelso's frustration only caused everyone, save for a still disgusted Jackie, to laugh.

"Hyde, shut up," Hyde parroted, still mocking Kelso.

"Stop mocking me!"

"Stop mocking me!" Hyde said before thinking. He paused. That slip up was way too childish . "Fuck. I need to stop doing that."

"Yeah, that's what I keep saying!" Kelso stammered. Unfortunately for Hyde, Eric and Donna actually noticed the childishness behind the mocking. God damn, man. What did Hyde do to deserve this?

**A/N: You know what I realized just now? According to where I put this in the series (mid season 2), Red should have lost his job by now. But…that conflicts with stuff I've already said, so I'm taking creative liberty and saying he wasn't. At least not yet. Also, Kelso hasn't cheated on Jackie yet, either. Asides from that, I'm going to say this is after the Vanstock episode, because recently I've been thinking that I might play with things that happened in the show, just, you know, with a miniature Hyde instead. And I love how you guys think it's so cute that I made him four instead of five, even though he's closer to five anyways. Oh, you awesome reviewers. :P**


	16. Unpleasent Surprise

**A/N: Well, this chapter isn't clogged with dialogue like the past few. I have no clue where I got the idea for this chapter, but I'm glad I did think of it. I hope you'll like it too.**

"That's cool," Hyde said as he was once again led into the hall for another five minutes out on Wednesday. It turned out that toy guns, be they water pistols or otherwise, were frowned upon in the hell hole, especially when used to frighten the preppy preschool girls. Or maybe scaring little girls was the part that was frowned upon…huh, well, Hyde wasn't sure which. So he was pretty much off the hook for "learning his lesson" today.

He sat for about three minutes, idly twiddling his thumbs as he reflected upon his day.

It hadn't been that bad, considering what some of his other days were like. It had started off with another awkward breakfast; Kitty was babying Hyde because of his eyes, to which Red told her to _stop _treating him like a baby (though he did call Brad and Kelso dumb asses for punching him). It was no secret that Forman and him had been fighting and messing with each other the past few days, but they finally got over it, thanks to their common enemy; Laurie.

Then came the dreaded drop off at the deceivingly sunny daycare. His black eyes had gotten him attention here as well. That was pretty lame, since he had been trying to be a wall flower here. Some of the Jackie type girls thought he looked ugly, and told him so, but mostly, the kids just asked what happened. Hyde was glad to hear that Kelso hadn't told Brad about it. Hell, Hyde was pleasantly surprised that between moron Kelso and gossipy Jackie, everyone on the planet didn't know about Hyde's "shrinking" yet. Key word being yet…he was going to have to make sure nobody said anything.

And now he was here, sitting against the wall, waiting for the two final minutes in his "solitary confinement" to pass. Kelso, Jackie, Fez, Donna, and Eric were all leaving school about now. Last class was the one block they all had together; gym. Jackie would be whining about the sweaty smell and practice cheer moves while Kelso was probably running into a wall. Forman most likely was trying to impress Donna by keeping up with her, but failing because he's a wimp. Fez would either be in the girls' locker room or being harassed by football players. Hyde had promised the day they met that he would take care of any football players that attacked him again. Hyde should have been there, burning those around him, warding off football players who were chasing Fez, rolling his eyes at vapid Jackie, pranking Kelso, and earning an F for refusing to wear gym shorts. But, no. He was here, facing a wall because he squirted little girls. And he was four. Bummer.

"Steven," Warden Caroline's voice pulled him back to reality. "Are you ready to come back in?"

"No. I mean yeah. Whatever."

She smiled and opened the door for him. He walked through the door, making no attempt to return the smile.

"Stevie, what do you think, pink, or purple?" Jodi asked as soon as he reached their table, holding up two crayons and a picture of a bird.

"Black," he replied flatly.

"Oh, totally pink," came a feminine voice behind him.

"_Jackie_?" Hyde said in surprise and confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"First of all, I'm picking you up. Second of all, I had to see this for myself. This is just too good to be true."

"For you. And-wait, I have to go home with _you_?"

She shrugged. "It's either that or you could wait here for Mrs. Forman until five."

Hyde scrunched his eyebrows and bit his lip in concentration. "It's just another hour. I'll wait it out."

Jack leaned in beside him to rub this into his face, but didn't sit because she didn't want her outfit to be smeared with all of the dirt and little kid germs crawling around the floor. "You didn't let me finish. Until five _tomorrow_," she told him with a bitchy grin. "She's going out with Red tonight, and Eric and Donna are going to a movie."

Hyde's face was unchanging. "OK, cheerleader. Whose stash have you gotten into? And it better not be mine, 'cause I'm still saving it."

She rolled her eyes. "Ugh, no, I'm not a stoner like you…were. Anyways, we have to go," she said, in a hurry to get out of this child infested environment. To her annoyance, Hyde still wasn't budging.

"Is that your sister," Lizzie asked, " the one who you said was a witch?"

"If by 'witch' you mean-" Hyde stopped himself, practicing to not use cuss words here. "Uh, no. She's friends with my brother's girlfriend, and sucks faces with Brad's brother."

"Gross!" Brad shouted.

Jackie crossed her arms, amused. "So, Hyde, that's the big scary kid who gave you the first black eye."

Hyde sighed. "Alright, Burkhart, you win," he said, finally standing up. He put on the black coat that he found in the box of Eric's old stuff and followed her outside. "C'mon, man, I have to live in that hell hole. No need to call me a stoner in front of them. Trust me, they'll ask what it is, and I don't wanna be the one to tell them."

"Yeah, right. I thought you loved getting in trouble."

"I do. But the corner is cold, man. And small."

"What? What corner?"

"Solitary confinement," he said as if it were obvious. She tilted her head in confusion. "Ah, screw it. So, you gonna drop me home, or what?"

"Fine."

"Why are you even doing this? We hate each other, and you hate babysitting." Hyde almost shuddered at the thought of being babysat.

"I'm getting paid by the hour. Plus, I need the credit for my home economics class."

"Whatever."

Jackie still didn't have her license, so it was a long, cold walk home. Especially with Jackie complaining about how long and cold it was. Arriving at the Forman house, Hyde stood on his toes to turn the door knob. "Great. It's locked." He turned to Jackie. "You don't have the key, do you Jackie?"

"Um…no. You're a delinquent, can't you pick the lock or something?"

"Do I look like I can pick a lock to you?"

"Well, not _anymore._"

"Looks are deceiving. Got anything to pick a lock with?"

"Why would I?"

"Man, Jackie. That's lame. OK, so what now?"

Jackie's face lit up and she clapped her hands. "Oh! Let's go to the mall!" She could actually buy him clothes that didn't make him look ratty. And, of course, buy a few things for herself.

"No."

"Well, I'm in charge, so we are! So there."

Hyde crossed his arms. "You know, Jackie," he started casually, "I've been thinking about religion a lot lately. Maybe I should get converted, because I think I've found religion," he said to draw her in and confuse her, "because this is totally Hell."

Jackie sighed at his sarcasm. "C'mon, I'll let you buy anything you want!"

"With you, it will turn into anything _you _want."

"Exactly, because I know how to pick out things for people! Starting with decent clothes," she said, leading him to her house, where her butler could drive them.

"Fine, Jackie. Just don't be too surprised if you get called up by mall security."

**A/N: OK, I lied. There was a decent amount of dialogue in there. So? What do you think? Season 2 Jackie taking little Hyde to the mall. This is going to be interesting. So, please leave me a review, and tell me your thoughts on this chapter.**

**PS; sorry for the long update time, I've been trying to think of what to do with the next chapter. Anyways, reviews?  
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	17. Christmas Not So Miracle

"Well, this is it, a pretty girl's heaven," Jackie squealed as the entered he mall.

Hyde crossed his arms. "You know, I've been here before, man. I know what a mall is."

Jackie lead him to a store, muttering under her breath, "you'd never guess so with those clothes." Hyde informed her that he actually strove toward the ratty band groupie look. "Not anymore," Jackie continued, "try this on!" She handed him a light blue shirt.

"If I wear this, I'm going to get a lot more black eyes," Hyde quipped. "Can we go yet?" Jackie put her hands on her hips, declaring that they weren't leaving until she had a shopping bag's worth of clothes at least for her.

"Still, don't know why you're doing this. Shouldn't you be with Kelso?"

"Oh, he got detention for accidentally killing the rats in the science lab."

"Damn. Wish I saw that."

"I say good riddance, those things are gross!"

"Man, are all cheerleaders as prissy and lame as you?"

* * *

><p>A while later, Hyde had had enough of shopping. "C'mon, Jackie, we've been here for like two hours!"<p>

Jackie found the nearest clock and shook her head. "It's only been fifteen minutes."

"I think I'd rather have fifteen minutes in the hell hole than fifteen more minutes in this hell."

She completely ignored the kid, handing him a green shirt, not much better than the last one. He sighed, realizing he had to explain it to her in a way that she would understand. "Let me put it this way," he started, "me wearing this would be like you wearing…a Pink Floyd shirt."

"Pink?" Jackie smiled, only hearing her favorite color.

"OK, like you wearing a Judas Priest shirt."

Jackie looked at him oddly. "Who are they?"

Hyde threw up his hands. For the love of God, didn't she know _anything _about good music?

"Here, let's compromise. This store has cute stuff on one side, and some boring guy stuff, too," Jackie suggested, pointing to a nondescript, plain store. Hey, this was the store with the sunglasses and the girl that took him to security! Well, if he was going to be stuck with Jackie all day, he might as well get some fun out of it.

He started off by reexamining the sunglasses display while Jackie ran off to explore the hair clips. There they were, the infamous plastic character glasses. He felt bad for the children of the past who were forced to wear them, and labeled all kids who wore them by choice as lame. It also looked like there were no more mini-aviator glasses, plausibly meaning that they had all been bought for other kids. Maybe there was hope for this generation, after all.

What to do, what to do. He searched the room in a similar fashion as he had searched the daycare, creating a mental map for optimal pranking. Damn, they had a security camera. Well, until he thought of a way to bug Jackie, he could always screw around with the surveillance tapes. Besides, he was never a fan of surveillance, the guards watching the tapes probably deserved this.. He started off by just staring into the lens for a few minutes, standing perfectly still in contrast to the people walking behind him. Eventually, he started to get bored and ended the staring contest with a throat slitting gesture before walking away to find Jackie.

He found her giggling over some sparkly purple headbands, which Hyde obviously felt was stupid. He had thought of one idea that an old friend of his had done to his girlfriend, but it would require embarrassing himself much more than having his "mother," aka Laurie, pick him up at the security desk. Whatever Jackie wanted to do in retaliation was fine, Laurie had already burned him so badly that he would need skin graphs to cover the scarring.

He started off by wandering around, looking for something that Jackie would refuse to buy. Ah, a Led Zeppelin pillow case. That would work.

"Hey Jackie, will you get me this," he asked in a deceivingly bored tone.

She rolled her eyes. "Hyde, that's so ugly. How about some fake fur pillows?"

Hyde looked disgusted. "I told you this was going to become whatever _you _wanted to buy."

"Well _duh_!"

"Jackie!"

"What? I can't help it if I like fashionable things and you don't!"

"So you're saying that I can't get this because it's Zeppelin and not…pink?" It had been Hyde's plan to just embarrass Jackie by throwing a mock tantrum (being Zen, of course, he wouldn't have gone too overboard, but it wasn't like anyone could recognize him,) but now he was honestly annoyed. "Have you ever even heard Zeppelin, man?"

Jackie batted her hair over her shoulders. "Oh, like you know about _my _stuff. I bet if I decked out your room in fake fur and candles, you would love it!" She declared loud enough to earn a few glances from passers-by.

Sweet, he didn't even have to do any work. Jackie was making people stare at her and he didn't even have to do any part of it. He had to laugh at her proposal, though. "Man, that is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. In case you haven't noticed, Jackie, boys don't like pink, or chocolates, or roses, or candles."

"Fez does!" Jackie shot back.

Hyde paused. "OK, you got me there. My point, not everyone can stand as much girl crap as you without it burning their eyes."

"Speaking of eyes," she giggled, pointing to his still bruised eyes.

"They're starting to go away, OK?"

"Not really."

Hyde took off his glasses to look at the reflection. "Slightly."

"Not at all," Jackie argued.

"Barely."

"They're completely black and blue."

"Are not. Look, they're like…a fraction of barely better. OK?"

"Works for me," she agreed, growing tired of the argument. "Oh, Hyde! I just remembered, Christmas is in a week!"

Hyde scoffed. "Great. Just another excuse for parents trick children into make believe lies, only-" He was cut off by Jackie, who didn't have the patience to listen to another conspiracy rant.

"You know what, Hyde? I think they have a mall Santa here today, and I just know how much five year olds _love_ Santa."

"And by Santa you mean Bob," Hyde added, overcoming the urge to punch her. "He's Santa here every year."

"Poor Donna! That must be why she never shops for her Christmas gifts here."

"Speaking of presents…"

* * *

><p>About an hour later, they returned to the Forman's, multiple bags of Christmas presents to be wrapped later in hand.<p>

"Hey, Forman, what's up with the sad face? Did they stop selling Star Wars action figures or something?" Hyde asked upon seeing his best friend's face.

"Hyde, _never _joke about that!" Eric declared, then looked around the room to make sure the couldn't be heard by his parents. "Red went up to that Sean Barker guy today to kick his ass for sleeping with Laurie, and he…Red got fired, man."

**A/N: See? Starting to rebuild things that happened on the show. Sorry for the long update time, I'm currently swamped with lines and school. I haven't started chapter 18 yet, but I have plans, do not worry, folks. Thanks for reading, please review! **

**-Eliza **


	18. Lost

**A/N: Don't you guys love how I didn't post until I got a review? I'm so evil. So everyone can thank the wonderful Christineexx. I regret to say that thanks to tests and life in general, I have not started chapter 19 yet. But don't worry, I'm going to work on it probably this Sunday. Thanks for reading and I hope you guys have a happy Halloween!**

Jackie gasped. "Oh, this is not good. I'll…I'll see you tomorrow, Eric," she said awkwardly, slinking nervously out the door.

Laurie looked severely pissed off, and a bit sad. "If you didn't have to go and be such a loser," she said angrily, pointing a finger at Hyde, "and tattled on me like a baby, Daddy never would have found out about Sean and this wouldn't have happened!"

Hyde's initial reaction was to tell Laurie to fuck off, which he did before letting the meaning of her words sink in. Luckily, Kitty walked in and saved him from Laurie's response, suggesting that he and Eric go into the basement. They didn't argue, figuring that she and Red wanted to be alone and talk, and possibly yell at their daughter.

Hyde grabbed the bag with his Christmas gifts in it and sauntered downstairs after Forman. Quickly, he dashed off to his room once in the basement under the pretense of wrapping his presents early. Instead, he shoved the bag under his bed and sat. He hated to admit agreement with anything Laurie Forman had said ever, but maybe she was right for once.

If he hadn't tattled on Laurie, Red would never had found out, never fought Sean, and never had been fired. Or so Laurie said. Christ, if Laurie had actually done what she was supposed to, Hyde never would have tattled on her in the first place. Kitty was the one who had brought up the idea of telling Red in the first place (not that he would ever want to get Kitty in any sort of trouble or put blame on her), and Forman was the one who started telling on her! So, it really wasn't his fault, was it? No, of course it wasn't.

Hyde sighed. Yeah, rationally, it was not his fault, but kids aren't the most rational of people. No matter how many excuses he thought of, he still felt a twinge of guilt. Then, when he started thinking about the aftereffects of Red's firing, the guilt began to snowball.

Money would be even tighter now, which made him feel immensely guilty when he remembered the conversation he had with Kitty a few days ago when she had said he could stay there as long as needed, money beside. He had the impulsive urge to go out and get a job for a brief second before he remembered his current situation.

He was so useless. Couldn't get a job, couldn't go to school, so they had to pay for him to go somewhere else. On the bright side, the hell hole was probably out of the picture now, at least for the moment. That would definitely be the only bright side in this dark situation. He was just a burden to the Forman family now, wasn't he?

This wasn't good for anyone. He hoped that Sean at least felt guilty, though if he was the type to sleep with Laurie Forman, he probably wasn't.

Hyde almost got up to go watch TV and talk with Forman, but caught himself. He couldn't expose himself as guilty feeling, and surely his face would give that away. He felt almost like a child in time out. No, he felt almost as he did when he was younger the first time around, when Edna would blame him for something, anything, be it her relationship problems or their poverty, and he would sit endlessly in his room, feeling too guilty to show his face.

He wondered what was worse; this time, or then. Back then, he was naive, automatically believed that he was guilty when told so. This time, he knew it didn't have to be his fault, but couldn't argue himself out of it. This one time, when he living with Edna, he broke a lamp, so she sent him to his room. He didn't come out until a full day later because he felt too guilty.

OK, this was pathetic! That was different, and this time it wasn't his fault. Even if it was, he shouldn't just be sitting around in a basement doing nothing about it!

"Forman," he said, leaving his room.

"Done wrapping presents already?"

"Screw that, man. I got a week left."

Eric threw up his hands. "Dude, I feel like this is my fault. I'm the one who ratted Laurie out to Red."

At least Hyde wasn't alone in the guilt game. "What does it matter whose fault it is if Red's already fired?"

"Still, though. But you're kind of right. I don't think they're in a hurry to rehire him."

"It's Sean's damn fault for being dumb enough to screw Laurie," Hyde declared.

Eric thought a moment, then added, "or Laurie's fault for being dumb enough to screw our dad's coworker."

"Red's right," Hyde commented, "kids are dumb asses. Well, at least his kids."

Eric mocked him, "dude, you just burned yourself."

"Get bent." He crossed his arms in annoyance.

They sat there silently, and eventually turned on the TV, watching as it lazily flickered to life. It occurred to Eric that Christmas would sort of ruined, since there was going to be little money for presents now. On top of that, Red was going to be in an even worse mood than usual. Hey, hadn't Donna said something about that earlier? He was sure she had. Wow. His girlfriend must be, like, psychic or something. Too bad this was a crappy thing to predict.

"So what now?" They asked almost simultaneously. Hyde scoffed as Eric almost said "jinx." Eric vowed that he was going to try and get a job as soon as possible, to which Hyde said nothing.

"You know, Hyde," Eric tossed in, "Donna joked about Red getting fired for kicking Sean's ass."

"No, way, man. She must be a fucking psychic," Hyde replied sarcastically before rolling his eyes. Eric ignored his friend's comment and went on to tell him about what had been happening in school, including gym class and chemistry with Mr. Miranda.

"He's a pretty cool teacher. He did burn me in class, though…asked if you were still 'sick.'"

"Forman, man, you seriously kept that up? How long?"

"Since the first day."

"Wow," Hyde said, his voice dripping with sarcasm once more, "thanks for keeping up my reputation, man. You really couldn't tell them I'm going for a world record in ditching or I overdosed or something?"

Forman stared at him in surprise, slightly worried. "Shit, Hyde, an overdose? Yeah, that's something I want to tell the school. That's way better than being sick."

"Yup."

"Well, feel free to tell people that when you come back."

"I think you're mixing up 'when' with 'if' there, man."

"Hyde…" He tried to think of something to say. He decided to try a joke to lighten the mood. "I already promised Mr. Miranda you'd be back, so if you don't, I'll get detention." Wow. Now that said it, it was a pretty lame joke.

Hyde shrugged. "If Kelso had Miranda for a chemistry teacher, he would probably be able to read 'chemistry right.' Would have…" He didn't finish his statement. "So what now?" He repeated flatly. Eric looked at the floor and shook his head with a sigh.

"What now…"


	19. Cold

**A/N: Hey everyone, sorry it's been taking so long, I've had many rehearsals to attend lately. I hope you guys are swell (isn't that a nifty word? Ha ha.) and Nannygirl's latest review has set me above 50 reviews! Huzzah! I feel accomplished. Um…what else…yes, there will be a Christmas chapter at some point. Any other questions, you guys? I don't think so, but if so, feel free to put it in your **_**review**_**, hint hint...**

**DISCLAIMER: I think you guys know what I don't own in here.  
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"Forman."

Eric rolled over, his skinny arm hanging over his bed. Neither he nor Hyde had spoken to anyone else since last night, and he had gone to bed late.

"It's snowing, man," came a now familiar voice from his door.

He sighed, forcing himself to sit up. It was only seven AM, and it was the first day of the school's winter vacation for God's sake.

"Hyde," he yawned, too tired to be amused that his rebellious friend had woken him up purely because it was snowing. "Did you forget to turn off your alarm clock?"

"No."

"It's Saturday, man. Let me sleep."

Lately, Hyde had found that sleeping in on the weekends turned out to still be getting up early. Must be a kid thing, he figured, though he didn't want to acknowledge that.

"Whatever, Foreplay, just thought I'd screw with you by ruining your morning," Hyde covered, compensating for unintentionally annoying his best friend.

"Thanks, Hyde. Mission accomplished."

Hyde said "no problem, buddy." He smiled, turning on Forman's alarm clock to go off in an hour at maximum volume as Eric put his head back under his pillow.

An hour later, Hyde was watching Scooby Doo when he heard a loud crash followed by a muffled cry of pain.

"Hey man, not cool," said a distraught Eric as he stumbled into the basement, hands over his still ringing ears.

"Good thing it's snowing, because I think you might need some ice for that burn."

Eric shook his head with a grin. "Is there any particular reason why you care so much that it's snowing?"

"Nope." He really couldn't think of a reason. He didn't want to play in it or build a snowman or anything like that. "Hey man, we should tell Kelso to stick his tongue to a lamppost so it'll get stuck there," the boy said with a maniacal grin.

"Yes! He would do it, too," Eric agreed, accepting the fact that he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep now. As luck would have it, Kelso walked in just then, hoping to make it in time for some homemade waffles or pancakes. "Speak of the devil," Eric smirked.

Kelso's eyes lit up. "Laurie? Where?"

"Dude, Kelso, you really need to stop hitting on the girls in my family."

Hyde frowned at Eric. "Cut him some slack, man. All of the girls in his family have whiskers, he doesn't know what it's like."

Kelso looked at him and squealed. "For the last time, my family doesn't have whiskers!"

"Yeah," Eric enthused, "they have mustaches!"

"Hey!" Kelso yelled.

All three boys stopped dead in their tracks as Red appeared on the stairs. "You morons better shut up before I stick my foot up all three of your asses!"

Kelso pointed to Hyde as Red cussed again. In return, Hyde angrily punched him in the leg.

Red scowled and marched back up to bed.

"Well," Kelso scoffed, "Red is annoyed. You know, more than usual."

"Kelso," Hyde started before Eric had time to tell Kelso about the firing, which would cause it to spread to all of Point Place, "dare you to go lick a lamppost outside."

Kelso looked at him suspiciously. "For how much?"

Hyde didn't have much money, nor could he afford to spend any of it, so he instead argued, "how 'bout you do it because you screwed with Forman's chemistry set and then this happened?"

"Fine! As long as this isn't a burn."

"Kelso," Hyde smiled, glad that he could still outsmart his tall friend, "the lamppost is frozen. How can it be a burn if it's frozen, man?"

Kelso thought it over a second before eagerly nodded his head, "yeah, I guess that does make sense! Deal!"

Eric smiled, looking forward to seeing Kelso get his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. "OK, Kelso, right after breakfast."

"You got it!"

* * *

><p>Red was practically silent at breakfast, only scoffing at dumb remarks. Laurie, though Hyde and Eric wasn't sure it was possible, actually looked like she felt guilty, or perhaps remorseful even. Eric didn't want to take his chances with Red by insulting her in front of him. His father was not in the mood for wise ass comments today.<p>

"here you are, Michael," Kitty said as she handed the guest a plate of waffles, which he immediately drenched in maple syrup.

Hyde looked at his plate. "Hey, man, you want some waffles to go with that syrup?"

"No, I'm good," Kelso smiled, the sarcasm completely lost on him.

Mrs. Forman scooted her chair over to Hyde's, a small round tin in her hand. "Alright, Steven, now you come here," she instructed. She held out the tin to show him. It was for bruises, which of course meant that she was going to put it around his eyes. He knew from personal experience that black eyes usually went away on their own by two weeks, but he figured it would just be easier to give in. He had been taking the easy way out lately, and he was not proud of it.

Mrs. Forman smiled as she looked at her handy work. "Looks better already," she said with a sweet smile. He mumbled something in return, before getting an a coat and boots to go watch Kelso get stuck to the lamppost.

"What's up?" Donna asked, coming outside to greet the boys.

"Shh, Donna," Eric commanded started, "I'll tell you later. I don't want to ruin this."

"For five minutes, right?" Kelso asked Eric and Hyde, who gave a thumbs up in return.

"OK then," he said hesitantly, rubbing his gloves together in anticipation. "Here goes nothing…"

He slowly stuck his tongue out, finally working up the courage to lick the frozen lamppost, flinching at its cold surface.

Donna, astounded, looked at her boyfriend. "How did you get him to do this?"

Hyde shrugged. "It's Kelso, man. Do you need anymore explaining than that?"

Donna tilted her head before laughing. "Kelso, you know why they want you to do this, don't you," she asked doubtfully.

"Huh," Kelso mumbled, turning his head to face her voice before realizing he was stuck. "Uh…huh!" He mumbled some more stuff they couldn't understand as an elderly man who was getting his mail just laughed at the ridiculous scene playing out in front of him.

"Hi!" Kelso tried to yell his curly haired friend's name.

"Merry Christmas, buddy," Hyde said, smiling, "consider us close to even."

Indeed, revenge is a dish best served cold.

**A/N: Yes, I did steal the tongue to frozen pole thing from A Christmas Story, but the conversation and situation around it is mine. Please don't sue me L Ha ha. Hope the ending was in character, for aside from the waking up Eric part, I made this up as I went along (especially the last line, just threw that in right before I uploaded this). Hope you enjoyed it. I think The dark chapter had had saved for the big 2-0 chapter will still work, despite this happy chapter. We'll see. You hear that? 51 reviews and we're coming on chapter 20! Yay! Thank you all so much! I am going to need feedback on the next chapter to see in what direction ch.21 will go. Of course, reviews on this one will also make me happy!  
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	20. Desperation

**A/N: I hope everyone is still in character and you guys don't mind "…" I use those a lot. I forget the name for that…**

**Thank you, my lovely reviewers, and my new reviewer Yvonna! Hi! And also thanks to all of you wonderful folks who favorite this or put it on story alert. You rock!**

"Hey there, hi there…whoa there," Bob Pinciotti greeted as he came out of his house. He turned to his daughter. "Donna, why is your friend licking a pole?"

"Because he's Kelso," Donna explained. "He once ate a whole dollar in dimes just because Fez dared him to."

Kelso tried to turn his head to mumble something, but ended up screaming because he hit his nose on the pole.

"Yep," Bob commented as he stuck his hands into his pockets, "I'm leaving this one to Red and Kitty." He retreated back inside his home, leaving the children to solve this problem.

Eric slowly exhaled. "Alright, just calm down, Kelso."

"Eh-uh!" Kelso squealed.

"Fine, I'll get my parents," Eric replied. "Don't go anywhere, oh wait, you can't," he added, laughing at his own lame joke. He left Donna to stand with Kelso, who was extending and swaying his tongue, probably trying to break free. He ended up just looking even dumber.

Eric was almost ran over in the driveway by his father, who was on his way to apply for some jobs and maybe head off to the bar afterwards. "Eric," he chastised, "for God's sake, watch where you're going! You almost ended up like Donna's cat!"

"Dad, that was an accident," Eric argued against Red.

"Exactly, because you weren't watching where you were going!"

Eric frowned, trying to think of a comeback. "But you were the one who almost ran over me!"

"No," Red said impatiently, "I stopped. Because I look for cars and cats and dumb ass children in my way before I back out of a garage."

"I love you too, Dad," his son smiled sweetly before going inside.

Eric walked into the living room where his mom was watching some soap opera on television while reading a magazine. "Hey, mom, what would you do if, oh, say, your tongue-"

"What the hell?" Came a shout from outside.

"Now what is your father screaming about now?" Kitty asked, standing up from her place at the sofa to rush to the door. "I keep telling him, all this anger is not good for his blood pressure!"

Mother and son met father outside on the curb. "Oh dear," Kitty said once she saw the situation, hurrying to Kelso's side. Red, though worked up, declared that if he stayed, he would be late to his interview, so he got back into his car and slammed the door, driving off to his destination.

Moments later, they were met by Hyde, who had snuck inside through the basement door after his parting words to Kelso. "Steven, go get me some warm water," Kitty, ever the maternal nurse, instructed. Once Hyde had left, Kitty instructed Kelso to _not _try to rip his tongue off the surface of the lamppost. "Just breath, Michael. We'll get you free as soon as Steven brings that water…"

Eventually, Kitty got him free, but decided to take him along to her shift at the hospital just to be safe.

That night, Donna and Hyde were hanging out in the basement while Eric was upstairs making popcorn.

"Hyde," Donna started, "I thought you were anti-revenge. You always said that if you got revenge on someone, they had to get revenge on you and you had to get revenge for that."

Hyde took a swag of his root beer thoughtfully. "Scruples are meant to be bent, young grasshopper."

Donna looked confused, but shrugged and drank some of the beer that they had stolen from her house.

"Can I-" Hyde looked at the glass bottle in Donna's hand.

"No way."

"Well, can't blame me for trying"

Donna snorted at his reply and put her beer on the far table, turning her attention back to the TV. "Man," she asked a few minutes later, "what's taking Eric so long," which Hyde of course followed up with a Forman insulting joke. Donna snickered and trotted up to the kitchen.

"No, Mr. Patterson, my parents are out…yeah, both of them," Donna heard Eric's voice before she even reached the top step. Looked like he was on the phone.

"I know it's been a few weeks…" there were muffled noises on the other end. Eric put is hand over the receiver and mouthed 'school truancy officer' to the red head. "I know, man - I mean sir! Yeah, but I keep telling you, Hyde is sick. True, colds don't last for three weeks…OK, so here's what happened…" Eric ran his free hand through his hair and Donna could tell that he was going to say something incredible stupid. "He was on his way to…" Eric sighed in frustration "He was driving, but he took too much cold medicine and crashed into a tree…"

"What?" Donna nearly shouted in confusion. Eric shushed her.

"I swear, sir…" he said desperately, and then sardonically, "oh, I'm _sorry_ my parents never called the school, they've been to busy waiting to hear if he's going to make it. Yeah, I'll tell them." He hung up in capitulation.

"What the hell, Foreplay?" came Hyde's voice. Donna turned in surprise to find that he had heard most of Eric's story. "Seriously, man? I crashed into a tree because I was too hopped up on cold medicine? That's the dumbest…get bent."

"You wanted me to tell them you overdosed!" Eric defended himself. "What I said was something near that…"

Donna looked at Hyde in shock, but he ignored her. "Yeah, Not 'oh he's sick, no he crashed his car, oh he's dying,' I mean Jesus, man, really? Nobody's going to believe that!" He took a moment to collect himself, but his voice still came out like ice. "If you wanna say I overdosed or something like that, man, you can't tell the attendance cop! If it was true, you'd lie and say something else and then tell the kids I did it and let them spread it around! I thought after hanging out with me for years, you'd be able to lie better than that by now."

"Well, maybe the guy thought that _was _my lie to cover up your 'overdose.'"

Donna stepped in between the two boys. "Whoa, whoa. Nobody is overdosing on anything! Just…chill out for a minute." She waited a moment before stepping away to get their popcorn before it burned.

"Look, Hyde," Eric explain despondently, "I had to tell him something. I don't know how much longer I can keep lying to teachers." He looked at his pseudo brother's expression before continuing. "Obviously, I'm not going to tell them the _truth_, but I have to tell them something!" There was a very pregnant pause. "Listen man, I've been talking to Red and Kitty after you fall asleep and there's been talk of saying you dropped out…."

That was the last thing Hyde remembered hearing before he found himself in his room, locking the door.

Nobody ever thought he would even make it to junior year, and he finally did, and he was going to have to drop out, end up just like Bud and Edna always said he would. _Well, screw them, _Hyde thought, _they can get bent. Fuck them and fuck this. _As Steven Hyde paced, angry with the world, something caught his eye. He slowly reached for the familiar bag and smiled. It was just what he had been longing for. It was what he needed.

His stash.

**A/N: Cliffhanger! Yes? No? Anyways. Don't ever do drugs, kids! Seriously, be good. The government is watching you. **

**Yeah…this chapter is SUPPOSED to make you go "Hyde, don't do it!" Even I feel guilty about it. But that's because I'm a goody two shoes…irrelevant! I plan on making Hyde go through with it, unless I get a strong urge not to. So, what to do? Let me know, and tell me how you thought this chapter was!  
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	21. Same Old Song And Dance

**A/N: Thanks, reviewers! Special thanks to cravingsmiles for helping my figure out the direction of this chapter.**** I'm not done with last chapter, so don't forget what happened. LOL, I hope it wasn't that forgettable… :P **

**This chapter will switch around from character to character. The lines separate different locations, and you'll be able to tell which character it's about. **

**Kay kay! Love you guys!**

* * *

><p>It was his stash. Hyde gingerly fumbled with it between his fingers, all of the anger he had from a moment ago pushed back.<p>

There had been that one time when he walked in on the circle and Kelso offered him a smoke, and he, being in his right mind then, had refused. But he so wanted to give in. He so wanted everything to be like it used to.

Why the Hell not? There was no one to stop him, and he was so fed up, why should he care what happened? The past few weeks had been only a dream, hadn't they?

OK, so maybe he was reverting back to denial in this time of desperation. Though, the denial was different originally. Eric, Kelso, everyone, they all saw him as the old Hyde then.

Life had readjusted itself around him, shoving him into the corner once more.

So why not?

Hyde violently shook his head in surrender, grabbing a lighter and giving in.

* * *

><p>"Eric, just give him a while. He can't stay in there forever," Donna comforted.<p>

"I wouldn't blame him if he did," Eric countered, "I would if it was me."

That was the first time either of them had really pictured themselves in Hyde's shoes. Almost simultaneously, the two turned to each other, eyes linking together with their sudden realization.

"God, Eric. If it was me, I don't know what I'd do."

"Now I see why he hated not being allowed in the circle anymore."

* * *

><p>The room was filled with smoke. Hyde couldn't remember this much smoke in his whole life. For just a moment, it occurred to him that the house was on fire, but he laughed that idea off. Fire. Hilarious. Hey, if the house was on fire, it would totally be a good time to have one of those cars that runs on water because then he could put it out as he drove! Jesus Christ, Hyde was totally stoned.<p>

As he stared up at the ceiling his big fight with Eric where it was revealed that his life was ruined didn't seem important at all now. Nothing did.

_Everything is nothing, _he thought, _wow, man, that's deep. I should write that down and use it later._

Hyde's head suddenly shot up at the sound of spaceship noises. Oh, wait, it was just his breathing. Or maybe Eric and Donna watching TV upstairs. Oh well, whatever it was, it did not matter. He was fine here, alone in the smoke. Though, surrounded by the thick smog of his defeat though he was, he felt like his mind had been cleared.

At least he had enough sense not to smoke too much of his stash. His trip would end soon enough. Whether that was a good or bad thing depended on who you asked.

* * *

><p>Donna and Eric were halfheartedly enjoying a crappy science fiction movie (which Eric, as a die hard sci-fi and <span>Star Wars<span> fan enjoyed more so than his girlfriend). Eric was glad that there was no cursing or loud, angry ranting from downstairs. All was quiet, excluding the cheap sound effects of the movie mixed with the chewing of popcorn.

"Have you seen Kelso?" A concerned voice echoed through the living room.

Eric didn't even turn to face Fez at the sound of his voice because he was far too into the movie.

"Yeah," he said absentmindedly, gesturing towards the door, "at the hospital, my mom took him."

"Is he OK?" Fez gasped.

"Yeah, yeah, fine, just froze his tongue," Eric blathered. Donna, who was now into the movie almost as much as Eric, shushed both of them loudly.

Fez held his head high and declared "well then...good day."

"But Fez-" Donna started.

"I said good day!" The foreigner slammed the door with a pout and left for the hospital.

"So," Donna said, oblivious to Fez's departure, "who do you think the alien is?"

* * *

><p>"Oh, Michael!" Jackie sped towards her beloved, hugging him tightly. That is, she hugged him <em>before <em>slapping him. "_Why _would you agree to licking a pole?"

Michael shifted uncomfortably in his chair at the hospital waiting room. "Because," he said bashfully, "Hyde told me to." His voice was just the tiniest bit slurred from his traumatized tongue.

Jackie took one hand off of her hip and made a wide gesture across the room, looking for a good example. "Well, would you…take someone hostage if Hyde told you to?"

Kelso scoffed. "Jackie," he said in a tone that implied he was about to degrade her, "you act like I know what that means." Jackie rolled her eyes in annoyance and anger, her concern fleeting having seen that Michael was OK.

Before either lover could get another word in edgewise, a panicked foreign voice burst into the room. "Where is he?"

"Fez!" Jackie barked. She didn't like being interrupted, which Fez should have learned by her princess personality by now.

"Jackie!"

"Calm down, Fez, he's fine."

"What happened?" Fez asked. Jackie explained everything to him to the background noise of hospital sounds.

"Hyde told him to lick a frozen pole and his tongue stuck!"

Fez made a fist and looked down, "that sonavabitch."

* * *

><p>"Smoke, smoke, go away, go get bent another day…" Hyde was only half aware that he was even talking.<p>

He rolled over and stared at the wall, amazed at every mark and bump and crack that blemished its surface.

Somewhere, subconsciously, he could tell that his trip was starting to wear off. The sleeping, intelligent part of him could only hope that Red, Kitty, and/or Laurie wouldn't get home until after it did.

In the meantime, he was giggling over who-knows-what, enjoying his destructive fallback high.

Yep, it was just like old times.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There we are! Hope you enjoyed this chapter of Hyde's Redo. And remember, This in no way condones the use of drugs (you guys are T7S fans, I'm sure you're used to seeing this sort of stuff. But as a paranoid freak, I'm just saying). All I had to base this off of was the circles from the show and the one time I had nitrous oxide at the dentist. Again; drugs=bad. OK, I think that's enough of that rant. Sorry guys, I'm just paranoid about that stuff.**

**I don;t know why, but always inserts "J" at the end of my A/N. Deletes the period and puts it there...it befuddles me. Oh well!**

**Please review, tell you friends if you like it, you know, all that lovely stuff .  
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	22. Ignorance Is Bliss

**A/N: In comparison to the last two chapters, this one is less eventful and more laid back. Kind of a winding down one. I can't give too much away, but I have another dramatic thing planned. Cravingsmiles knows what it is, but I'll keep the rest of you in the dark. I'm looking forward to the Christmas chapter for this! I'm going to wait until after Thanksgiving, but for some reason I can no longer remember, I did set this in winter, so I'm getting excited! I think this is one of the shortest chapters. I like it, but it's short. **

**So, how are you people? Happy reading and happy Thanksgiving!**

Hyde stood up and stretched, putting his stash and lighter back into their normal hiding places. Luckily, he was back to Earth and all of the smoke had cleared out, so he was in the clear. He had had a nice, hard to get caught for trip. All was well. Well, except for the fact that he was still shrunken, they had no idea how to reverse it, and he was going to lose all of his progress in school, everything was copacetic. Everything was cool.

_Just keep telling yourself that, buddy, _nagged the voice in the back of his head.

He took a step back and looked to make sure that his stash was securely out of sight (though it was not out of mind). After that, he went out to the basement and snuck up the stairs, checking to see what Donna and Eric were doing. When he saw the scene playing out on the screen that their brains were sucked into, he had to suppress a laugh. It looked like something out of Eric's fantasies.

He silently slipped back into the kitchen and peeked inside the fridge. There were some beers left, but he figured that he had done enough illegal things for one night (an unusual thought for him). Besides, somebody would notice that. Nobody would notice his decreasing stash levels. Instead, he grabbed another root beer and a few peanut butter cookies, then crept back down the stairs.

He set down his plate and glass bottle on the table, then shoved his lawn chair about two feet away from the television set. Cookie in one hand, remote in the other, he began flipping through channels. There were a lot of movies on that didn't appeal to him, and a few cartoons. He started watching one until the first commercial break when he realized exactly what he was watching. Cartoons are for kids. And Fez and Kelso. If one of them were here, he could pretend to be bored but give in, but they were both at the hospital.

That was probably the worst part of this; he had been the most mature one in the group because he had been forced to grow up fast thanks to his negligent parents.

He sighed and shook the thought off and flipped through some more channels, finally settling on the movie that Eric and Donna were watching upstairs. He hadn't intended to watch this nerd fest of a film, but it was actually not half bad.

Forty minutes, two bottles of root beer, and four cookies later, and Hyde found his leg was shaking at a million miles an hour. Instead of bothering to run the sugar off this time, he just kept his mind on the movie he was watching. The hero had just tried to kill the alien but ended up shooting his best friend and though he didn't realize it, the alien was lurking on the ship's support beams like an owl on a perch, waiting to swoop down on a mouse.

He absent mindedly munched on yet another cookie, watching the hero cradle his friend as the alien hopped down and it looked like it was about to bite off the hero's head when it switched to commercials. He sighed. There was yet another commercial on for some new rocket toy, the same kind that he had bought Kelso for Christmas. Yes, he was aware of the chaos that giving Kelso a high power rocket would cause. That was one of the reasons he bought it. Kelso and chaos were such an entertaining couple.

The movie came back on and he watched as the alien gobbled up the hero's head without the hero even noticing it was there. Ha, dumb ass.

"Hey, Hyde."

Hyde turned around and saw Donna and Eric coming down the stairs.

"Hey man," he said quietly, changing the channel back to something less nerdy.

Donna smirked. "Too late, we saw it." Hyde rolled his eyes and flipped the movie back on.

Donna, satisfied, took a seat on the musty sofa and smiled, expressing her thoughts on the movie so far. "I'm surprised you'd go for a movie like this," she said to the pint sized rebel, "and…what's up with your leg?" Eric pointed out the multiple root beer bottles and cookie crumbs on the table to her.

"So, you're less mad at the world now?" Eric asked. Donna elbowed him sharply. "Ow! OK, less mad at me?"

"It's amazing what a high can do for you," Hyde replied. He then stopped and rectified that statement. "You know, a sugar high." He looked at his brother's face. "Lighten up, Forman, it's called a joke." Though guilty, he forced himself to react as if he had really been joking and Forman was just being lame. "Oh, and just a tip, man. You might want to get rid of the beer stain before Red gets home."

Eric looked down at his stained shirt in panic and ran upstairs, causing Donna to inspect herself before shrugging and taking a seat herself.

As the trembling with energy Hyde opened yet another green bottle, she reached across and grabbed it. "I think you're good on sugar for now." Hyde stared at her. Was she seriously going to dictate him like a child? No way, man. He grabbed the bottle back from her as cries of "come on, come on, wash out!" were heard over running water from upstairs. "Ten bucks says Red finds out about the beer anyways," Hyde commented.

Donna cracked her knuckles. "I'll be sure to be home before then. Thank God my parents are too dumb to know any better. They're oblivious to everything"

Hyde raised his newly opened root beer bottle. "to oblivion," he smirked.

Donna nodded and tapped her glass to his, "to oblivion."


	23. Cold Words

**A/N: I liked the last chapter a lot. I have the next one semi planned, and as for cravingsmiles, I'm holding off on that chapter for a while to give a break from the drama. But it'll come soon enough. I hope you guys don't mind "if you know what I mean" dirty jokes…because for some reason, there are quite a few in here. Anyways, hope you guys are enjoying! Next one will be up soon, I'm working on it already.**

A few hours later, Donna had gone home and Hyde was still watching movies, having nearly depleted his family's soda stock. He was so chocked full of sugar that it was starting to give him a headache, when a sharp light painfully pulled him out of the movie that was distracting him from reality.

He looked at the curvy figure coming through the door. "Laurie, turn the lights back off."

The blond rolled her eyes and pulled out her lipstick to fix herself up. Her hair was all over the place and her Christmas colored shirt, adorned with a picture of Santa Clause, was inside out. She took it off and turned it right side around, not caring who was watching.

"Well, if it isn't the ho ho ho. Been riding the sleigh, huh, Laurie? delivering presents to all of the good little boys? Spreading Christmas cheer? Looks like somebody's going to wind up on the naughty list." Hyde smiled, proud of his quips.

Laurie shrugged, "too late."

"What's up with the little girl Santa sweater, man? It doesn't have your usual…I've been sliding down everyone's chimney vibe." Well, he just brought his A-game today, even with the sugar rush. Maybe root beer was good burn fuel.

"Are you bitter that Santa didn't bring presents to little orphans like you?" Laurie asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, I had to do that thing where I knock on doors with someone pouring fake snow over me and ask for money for 'my puppy's operation.'" He laughed. It was nice having a banter with Laurie where, for once, neither of them wanted to piss off the other. They were both just goofing around.

Eric appeared loudly at the foot of the stairs. "Hyde, the beer won't come out!" He then looked in the direction of his sister. "Oh, hey, Laurie…did I say beer? Cause I meant…beard."

Hyde scoffed. Beards, running into trees…Forman was horrible at quick thinking.

"I'm telling," Laurie said casually, sitting down and stealing the doughnut that Eric had left on the table. "What are we watching?" Hyde explained the plot of this movie, the second sequel to the earlier alien movie, to her.

Eric was a bit put back by his siblings' calmness. "So that's it? No blackmailing? You're just going to tell?"

"Probably," Laurie said with little interest.

"Laurie, please, don't tell Dad. He's already mad enough about what we told him about _you_," he pleaded. "Hold on; this is to get even?"

She turned around and replied, in that ever-so sarcastic, talking down to you voice, "oh Eric, I would never do that." She then regained her normal tone. "Besides, like _I _care if you drink or tell our parents about…what's-his-name. Mom already knew I like to roll in the hay, and Dad's just naive. But why piss him off more?" She put on her cooing voice again, "I'm Daddy's little girl, I wouldn't want to make him upset!" She grinned and finished, "Mom on the other hand might like this very much. Just imagine her face when she discovers her baby boy's been drinking. All I have to do is take one of your bottles and put it out while you're not home for her to find…"

"OK, Laurie, what do you want?" Eric said desperately.

She stiffened her back and glared at him. "Fist of all, tell your little foreign friend to stay out of my drawers." She turned back to the movie, leaving Eric confused.

"Is that it?" Eric asked, relieved at her short list.

"Nope."

"Well, what else?"

"You'll see," Laurie answered mysteriously.

Hyde snorted, imagining the mental torture that that sentence would bring Forman, putting him on alert for hours, with possibly no follow through. It'd be a nice burn, as long as she never really told on him. He didn't want to see Red skin him alive, but a little burning would be nice.

"What are you laughing at, shrimp?" Laurie eyed the curly haired boy, "I've got plenty of stuff on you too."

There was no way she could know about his trip, and no dirt she had on him pre-che-mystery disaster was worth anything now. Kelso had probably already told Kitty that he was the one who dared him to lick the pole, but it was doubtful anything would come from that. What could she have on him?

"Laurie, Forman's the one we're trying to blackmail, not you."

Laurie pouted. "Oh yeah. I guess I get so caught up in threatening you sometimes, I forget why I'm doing it."

Eric frowned. "Of all the sisters in the world, I got stuck with Rosemary's baby."

Laurie ignored him, instead walking over to the freezer. "Do we have any popsicles?"

Eric teased, "if Hyde didn't eat them all."

Hyde put up his shaking hands in defense, "hey man, I've been staying out of the freezer."

Eric crossed his arms. "Do we have _any_ sodas left?" Hyde shook his head. "Dude, there were like twelve root beers in there!" Hyde simply shrugged at this, looking into his last bottle to see if there was anything left. Eric put his hands in his face, apparently having forgotten the multiple bags of popcorn and bottles of beer that he and Donna had depleted.

Laurie was bent over waist deep into the freezer, a sight Fez and Kelso would kill for. "C'mon, we've got to have those generic brand ones, at least!"

Eric and Hyde exchanged a glance. "Why so desperate, Laurie?" Forman asked suspiciously.

"Because," came her muffled voice from inside the freezer, "I tried this thing when I was making out today when your tongues are cold and his was numb and for once he wasn't saying stupid things…ugh, we don't have any!" She gave up and walked over to the sofa. "It was like making out and eating a popsicle at the same time."

Eric made a "gag me" sign. Hyde sat silently for a moment and then looked at the oldest Forman child. "Cold tongues, huh? And no stupid things...just-"

"Oh my God, Laurie was making out with Kelso!" Eric announced to the heavens as a light clicked in his head.

Laurie scooted over close to her brother, a few inches from his shocked face. "And it was good, too."

Hyde slid away from his left over bottles and cookie crumbs, his appetite killed after that horrible mental image.

"Oh, dweeb," Laurie said, crossing to her younger brother, "you missed a spot." She flicked him, causing him to get distracted and spill the current beer bottle in his hand all over his shirt.

"Damn it, Laurie!" Eric exclaimed, staring at his soaked shirt.

Laurie smirked at him as she made her way up the stairs. "Merry Christmas, moron."

**A/N: I like the beginning of this one, though I have no idea where all of those "if you know what I mean" Christmas quips came from. What's even more disturbing is that I can think of more. Maybe I've been watching too much "If you know what I mean" Whose Line skits. Please also ignore the fact that this chapter is for the wrong holiday :P**


	24. Hiding

**A/N: Almost at 25 chapters! Yay! And I have 60 reviews! Double yay! OMG, the chapter I wanted to do actually works for that celebratory cause! Hooray! Also, this chapter takes place the same night as the last chapters, and it starts off with Hyde's dreaming that night. Here you are, awesome readers/reviewers, hopefully both of the above.**

It was a crappy dream.

It started off just annoying, a few years down the road in the lives of the basement gang. Hyde was normal but had a beard, Eric had moved to Africa to become a teacher, Donna was blond, there was some kid named Randy, Kelso had a baby with some hot girl, and Jackie was dating Fez, of all people.

Then it went from Kelso level stupid to Jackie level annoying to Laurie level evil.

It was one of those dreams that kept switching into different plots and locations.

It started off with him back at Edna's house, where nothing really happened. It was just dark. After that, he started dreaming about the future again, only this time, his friends were older than him. Everything was normal for them, but his life sucked because he was the one left behind. And let's face it, it embarrassed him. Then it somehow involved the chemistry incident revealed to all of Point Place thanks to Kelso spreading word to Brad and from there, everyone. And just as he predicted, he became the government's plaything. It was like a scene from those alien movies, he was strapped to a table and being cut open. Just as a surgeon reached in to pull out his heart, Hyde was jolted awake.

Maybe that thing about sugar causing nightmares was true.

He rubbed his eyes and looked at his alarm clock. It was only 2 AM. He didn't feel like going back to sleep, but it was far too early to get up, and far too late to go back to watching alien movies.

His energy had crashed shortly after Laurie left the basement, so he was asleep by the time Red and Kitty got home. This meant that he had no idea if Forman was caught. He still stood by his ten dollar bet with Donna, especially since Forman had repetitively shown himself to be incompetent at lying today. True, they didn't drink enough to get drunk, but he had still had enough to try to cover up his slip about drinking to Laurie by saying he mean "beard" instead of "beer." Hyde should have bet more than ten on this one.

* * *

><p>After a few hours of barely awake day dreaming and patches of fitful actual dreaming, Hyde's alarm clock went off. He got up and threw on a pair of jeans and an ACDC shirt, as well as his sunglasses. His black eyes, especially on Brad's side, had pretty much gone away, but were now replaced by dark circles of sugar crash induced exhaustion.

As he walked into the basement, he noticed that someone had cleared the table off. Eric had already told him last night that he threw all of the beer bottles away in the big dumpster around the corner, so his parents couldn't find them or trace them back to their son. The material evidence was gone, true, but the bet was still standing.

He was already well into breakfast and having a lovely fight with Laurie when Eric finally came downstairs. Kitty frowned, "oh, sweetie, you look terrible!" Hyde and Laurie took a quick glance at him, Hyde swinging his head down to hide his smile, while Laurie was open about her laughing. Eric looked hung over.

"Really should've bet more than ten bucks," Hyde mumbled under his breath.

Red dropped his fork and looked at him. "What was that?"

"Said I shoulda bet more than ten bucks," Hyde said nonchalantly. Forman shot him a panicked glare.

"On what," Red said, setting down his mug and newspaper, sending the boy an intimidating look.

"On Kelso," he said innocently, like that was the obvious answer, "I bet Forman ten dollars that he would lick that pole. Zitty Stardust here said he wouldn't," Hyde lied, taking a swag of his orange juice (which, admittedly, was a nice break from root beer).

Red turned to his other son. "Of course that kettle head would lick a pole! He's got less judgment than Ford!" He then shook his head and sneered before picking up his newspaper again.

"I told you, Forman," Hyde smirked.

Eric's face displayed a mixture of relief and surprise. "Hey, if it wasn't like eight in the morning, I probably would've known better than to bet money on Kelso being a moron." Hyde nodded slightly to signal his approval at this.

"Well, I just think you kids need to get more sleep," Kitty smiled, patting Eric's head. "It is Christmas break, after all!" She smiled sweetly and examined her family. "Oh, but Steven, you really shouldn't tell Michael to do things. You know he's…" she struggle for the least offensive words, "a little too willing."

As Hyde was about to respond, the door slid open revealing Fez followed by Kelso, then Jackie, then Donna, all bundled up in winter wear. Red groaned in annoyance at their arrival. "Don't you kids have your own families to annoy?" In response, each child started to babble their own reasons for why they weren't at their homes, which only annoyed Red further. Granted, he figured each of their own parents were annoyed by them (though of course not nearly to the degree that Red was,) but that didn't mean they could come barging into his house when he was having a nice enough breakfast with his beautiful wife, his little princess, and Dumb and Dumber.

Forman noticed his sister turning around to look at his friends, and that's when he remembered Laurie and Kelso's "popsicle" make out session. He cringed.

"Daddy, can you get me some orange juice? It's so _hot_ in here," Laurie said, staring at Kelso.

Red smiled, oblivious to her flirty subtext directed at Jughead. "Sure thing, Kitten." He put down his paper and walked over to the fridge.

As he saw Red stand up, Hyde was snapped out of his thoughts in time to catch Forman's disgusted look at Laurie.

Each of the Forman children were keeping secrets from the night before. Laurie tongue wrestled with Kelso's frozen tongue. Eric and his girlfriend had a lovely, alcohol wrapped moment. Hyde had given into illegal, dangerous longing in a moment of desperation.

And all of them had gotten away with it.

"Whose beer is this?"

Well, almost all of them.

**A/N: Yay! A somewhat cliffhanger! Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving! I can't make any promises as to when the next chapter will be up. I won't bore you with why. And Nannygirl, I used kettle head here! Yay! **

**Don't worry, I haven't forgotten to get back to the truancy officer call. That and at least Eric's secret will be addressed. Another of them might. Which? Wait and see.  
><strong>

**You know what's weird? I noticed today that the past day in this fic has taken like 4 chapters at least. I don't know why I find that interesting. I guess it was a long day. But a new day is here and be thankful that you aren't Eric in the next chapter ****:)**


	25. Don't Look At Me

**A/N: Hello there, my awesome readers. Sorry for the long update time, I've had a cascade of interruptions, mainly school related. I also have tests this week (only 2 that I'm worried about, though, which means I shall have to spend several days studying, which of course means less writing time) and it's also Tech week for the play I'm in. We have rehearsals until late at night all week and then we open on Friday and close on Sunday. In short, I probably won't have anytime to write at all until Monday the 12****th****. Just thought I'd let you guys know. Sorry I babbled there about why. **

"_Whose beer is this?"_

Everyone in the room looked at Red in surprise as he held up an opened bottle, about half empty. Oh, crap. Eric had put his last beer in the fridge when he went downstairs last night. How could he forget?

He looked around the room, trying to act as if he was weeding out possible suspects. That is, until he saw his sister open her mouth.

"It's Eric's, Daddy," Laurie announced.

"What? No, Dad, I swear, it's not!" His head shot towards his sister in extreme panic.

"Whoa. Forman!" Kelso's jaw dropped. "Why didn't you call us over and share, man? Gosh!"

Eric's head then snapped so quickly to face Kelso, and then back to face his parents, it was a wonder that his neck didn't break.

"Kelso! You weren't even around! You were thawing your tongue in my sister's mouth all night!" Eric's eyes bugged out as he realized what he had done.

Now it was everyone else's turn to snapped their heads towards Eric. Even Red was propelled to hold back his furious accusations at his son.

Jackie gasped, looked at the boy who she thought loved her, then her eyes welled up with tears. "Michael…did…"

Kelso ran through all the moments he had had with each woman and groaned. "Jackie, it's not you, it's Laurie. She's just so easy." Jackie looked at his face is despair. "But hey, you're still mega hot. I…" Jackie took a step away from him, refusing to listen any further. "_Don't_," she begged, frozen in place for a heartbreaking second before she yanked open the sliding door and rushed outside.

Donna looked at Laurie and Kelso in disgust before chasing after her friend.

There was a suspenseful pause as Red's face turned a color to match his name. "Eric," he barked, "you stay here. Everybody else, get the hell out of this room." He didn't need to give anymore warning than that. Fez, Kelso, and Hyde rushed downstairs, while Laurie and her mother rushed upstairs.

"Poor Eric," Fez commented, "Mr. Red is going to kill him."

"It'll blow over eventually," Hyde waved it away, "on the other hand, -" He whacked Kelso in the forearm. "What the hell was that up there? You wanna change the dynamics of the basement forever, man?"

Kelso rubbed his arm, displeased. "None of you guys like Jackie anyways!"

Fez backed up Hyde, adding, "yes, but you must never let a woman know you have been unfaithful to her! She will ruin your life!"

"Like you'd know," Hyde snorted.

"Guys, Jackie will totally have to forgive me," Kelso argued, "she's the hottest girl in school and I'm the hottest guy, so we have to be together!"

"You're also the dumbest." Hyde crossed his arms.

"Well, at least _I'm_…tall!" Kelso said. "Oh, low blow burn!"

Hyde's face remained emotionless. "Man, Kelslow," he said sarcastically, "that was the most painful burn I've ever heard."

Kelso smiled, satisfied.

"You idiot," Fez sighed, "Hyde was joking."

Kelso's smile frowned. "Oh…hey!"

Hyde ignored him. This was getting boring. He wondered what was on TV…

"Hey Kelso, Scooby Doo."

"Where?" Kelso asked excitedly. Hyde pointed at the TV and he eagerly watched to see who the masked bad man was, joined by the equally enthralled Fez.

* * *

><p>"Damn, I was <em>sure<em> the bad guy was a real ghost this time!" Kelso declared disappointedly. Fez nodded.

Eric stumbled down the stairs and plopped down on the sofa, looking exhausted, his hair flying in all directions, his brow sweaty, and his face pail. He looked like he had been through a war. And lost. Then again, his dad _had_ fought in a war before. "I'm screwed. I'm so dead, Red's probably putting on his best ass kicking shoes right now."

"I am surprised that you are not dead already," Fez said. "How did you escape?"

Eric wiped the nervous sweat from his forehead. "He has to squeeze in yelling at Laurie and arguing with my mom about how he's not being too rough on me, then get ready for the job interview he has today." His friends nodded, glad that Red let him slip away. "But he told me that I should start digging my own grave before he gets home."

"Don't worry, Forman," Hyde comforted, "if I could, I would have gotten totally wasted with you."

"Thanks, Hyde, that's real helpful."

Hyde smiled, playing along with the sarcasm. "Anytime, man."

Eric rolled his eyes. "Looks like you'll be the only one of us who won't get yelled at today."

"And me!" Fez added.

"Fez, not you!" Eric growled.

"Never mind."

Oh, man. Hyde had totally forgotten about his trip yesterday. Crap, looked like Red was on a misdemeanor catching streak.

Eric was busted.

Laurie was busted.

And then there was one.

**A/N: Yay, 25 chapters! So how are you guys? Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Reviews make my day, so please review.**


	26. The Lost Causes

**A/N: I was watching an episode of House last night where Kurtwood Smith (Red) played the father of a musical savant and he was pretty much the sweetest dad ever…I was amazed. I'm so used to him threatening his TV children. And Cravingsmiles, by your super excited seeming "Update soon" you probably think THAT chapter is next. Nope. Not quite yet. **

**And PS, my play was amazingly fun, went very well, and I'm going to miss it ****L I'm way too hyper to study or do any of the assignments I have to this week at the moment, so here you are!**

Well, this sucked for Hyde. Eric was likely to get grounded for like a whole month. As for himself? Hyde wasn't sure what Red would do, but what he had done was more illegal seeming. Screw that, illegal was illegal, no matter what you did. Until you get into misdemeanors versus felonies.

What the hell, man? Normally he wouldn't give this a second thought, even with Foreman getting caught!

"Hey, Hyde."

Hyde looked up at Eric.

"You okay? You kinda spaced out there for a minute."

"Fine, man." He looked up at Kelso, his idiotic friend. "Tater Nuts, you planning on sitting here and ignoring Jackie for the rest of your life?"

Michael tilted his head up, as if contemplating what a living hell dealing with Jackie and/or Laurie could be. "I don't know, Hyde. Maybe for the rest of high school."

"I said for the rest of your life, man."

Fez smiled, daring to declare this a burn, much to Kelso's annoyance.

Eric spoke up. "Guys, forget about Kelso for a minute. Can we get back to _me_?"

"Sure thing, Erica," Hyde snorted, mocking his brother's girly request.

Eric blinked, trying to prepare a statement. "Well, it's like….I mean, Red never…I'm going to be grounded for months."

"Forget grounding," Fez chimed in, "what about the beer? How will we get beer now?"

Normally, Hyde would jokingly offer to shoplift some, or devise a reassuring plan at this point. But not tonight, when Red was on high alert. It was a good thing Red would be gone for a while.

"Hey dweebs, shrimp, _Michael_," Laurie greeted the bunch.

Eric groaned. "Haven't you already reached your daily quotient of life ruining for today, Laurie?"

She rudely stuck a tongue out at her brother.

"Hey pretty boy, I'm bored. Wanna go watch a movie?"

Kelso excitedly turned to his friends. "That means we're gonna do it," he declared, chasing the blond upstairs.

"Oh, come on!" Eric called after them, "you _just _got caught like ten minutes ago!" Vainly reasoning with Kelso and Laurie was impossible, no doubt about it.

* * *

><p>"Jackie, slow down!" Donna had no idea the tiny brunette could run this quickly.<p>

"No!" Jackie spun on her heels and stared at Donna. "I just got my heart broken by a dirty, lying, cheating, jerk!" She crumpled her face, crying. "I thought he loved me." She wiped her tears away, getting dark streaks on her long fingers. "Oh, God, I'm ruining my makeup! But what does it matter, Michael doesn't want me anyways!"

Donna led Jackie onto her bed, handing her some tissues. "Then he's an ass, and you deserve better." She put an arm around her, surprised at how she was comforting this girl who she usually only tolerated.

"I know!" Jackie blew her noise loudly, very unladylike for her. "What I don't get is why anyone would chose anyone over me!"

"Because Kelso is a moron!" Donna declared loudly. She stood up. "Jackie, you will get over this! Why do the women sit around heartbroken for days while guys go out and party with their friends?"

Jackie's tearful, mismatched eyes locked into Donna's. "Because they're stupid, insensitive assholes?"

"Exactly! You don't need him!"

"Donna, I can't be the only single cheerleader! Do you know what that would do to my reputation? My _flawless_, _perfect_ reputation?"

Donna sighed. "Well, then you can start the trend of being single! You like trendsetting, don't you? And people look up to your trends!"

Jackie sniffled and explained, "that's because I set _good_ trends, not sad, lonely, feminist, ones!"

Donna frowned. Reasoning with this petty cheerleader seemed like such a lost cause sometimes.

* * *

><p>Well, Kitty was going to need a drink tonight, even if it would come across as hypocritical to her son.<p>

"Do as I say, not as I do," she muttered to herself as she tidied up her room a bit. It was always so hard to think is a messy room. A messy floor equals a messy mind, she used to say.

Was she disappointed in her kids? Well, she couldn't honestly say that either's offense particularly surprised her. Laurie rarely surprised her, though she did feel awful for poor Jackie. On the other hand, she was a bit more surprised that her baby boy had been drinking. Maybe even in denial a tad bit. He was her baby angel, he never did irresponsible things like this in the past! Well, (stupid, teenage) boys will be (stupid, teenage) boys.

And even Steven had made innocent minded…okay, not innocent, but simple minded Michael almost lose his tongue! He was normally such a good boy, too. He was rebellious and "cool," sure, but he wasn't a bad egg.

What was she saying, none of this surprised her.

Kids are bound to screw up and break rules no matter what you do, but it was her job to make sure that she kept them on track.

There was still hope for them.

She hoped.

**A/N: A little too much talk and not enough action, but I just wanted to let you guys know that I was still alive, and I thought you guys would like the girls' perspectives. Oh, and the chapter of this title is actually the name of my brother's first band, which I played bass for...in one rehearsal before I whined about how hot it was in the garage and quit :) LOL. It's good to be back.  
><strong>


	27. New

**A/N: So this is pretty much set in season two, only lots of things are in different orders and whatnot…OK, so my **_**point **_**is that weather or not it actually is in the show, in my story, this is Hyde's first Christmas while living at the Forman's. Was that so hard to say? For me, kinda. Anyways, thanks for reviews! Next chapter will probably be the Christmas one. And from then, probably the gateway chapter to the…you-know-what-chapter, cravingsmiles :D Oh, this one takes place a day after the last one.**

"Alright," Kitty ordered, "everyone to the car. That tree won't buy itself!" The kids, as well as Red, all grumbled and groaned, but obeyed. Red begrudgingly took up the driver's seat next to his wife as the kids squeezed into the back.

"Just so you know, Eric," Red said, "this is the last time you'll be going out of the house to anywhere except school for two months." Eric stiffened and sat up straight. Maybe he'd better enjoy this while it lasted in that case.

Kitty shook her head. "Oh, come on now. Don't you spoil this, Reginald Albert Forman. We're going to buy a Christmas tree, and we're going to have fun!"

Her family all mumbled their on responses of "oh yeah, real fun," and "who doesn't want to chop down a tree in zero degrees? Oh wait, me," or, in Hyde's case, "whatever."

"Let's just get this over with," Red frowned.

"Red!" Kitty chastised. "Okay, now we are going to find a nice tree and then spend a nice day as a family when we get home." Once again, everyone whined. Eric didn't want to be berated by Red all day, Hyde didn't want to run the risk of getting caught, Laurie couldn't think of anything she'd hate more, and Red didn't want to spend the day surrounded by his own little dumb asses when he was still furious at two thirds of them.

Kitty frowned. All she wanted was a nice night at home with her sweet husband and her kids. She'd bake cookies and they'd have apple cider as they hung decorations on the tree. Was that too much to ask for?

Red sensed her distress and sighed. "Look, Kitty; if you want to have a nice night at home, then that's what we're going to do, OK?" Kitty laughed her famous laugh and blushed. "Oh, Red."

"Awe," came their son's sarcastic voice.

"Eric," Red started.

Kitty's excited voice cut in. "Oh, we're here," she giggled. They piled out of the car, each one receiving instructions on their task. "OK, Laurie, you go find one of the salesmen, Red and Eric, get the axe to cut it down with, and Steven and I will go find a tree."

Red and Eric disappeared around the back of the car, and Laurie followed Hyde a few steps away while Kitty searched for her purse. "Ooh," Laurie mocked, "looks like the little baby is too small to go with the big boys."

Hyde adjusted his flannel ear-flap hat and responded, "why don't you just go get the sales rep, Laurie? If you hurry now, there's still enough time for you to make out with him long enough to score us a discount."

Laurie smirked. "OK, I will. _Shrimp_."

"Bitch."

"Preschooler."

"Whore."

"Drug addict."

"Let me fix that; cheating bitchy mega whore."

"Why don't you go listen to nursery rhymes, shrimp?"

"Which one is your favorite? Humpme Dumpme?"

"At least I didn't go around huffing chemicals that turned me into a little kid."

"Ow, that hurts Laurie. Maybe you could pick me up some band aids to fix it on your way to get penicillin."

"Orphan. No wonder your parents abandoned you."

Suddenly a new voice joined their battle. "Laurie! Don't say that to Steven," Kitty said, appalled. Hyde crossed his arms, amused and satisfied. Laurie sneered before marching off to complete her assignment.

She lead Hyde away to go search for a tree. Hyde paused, imagining Forman trying to pick up the axe. Forman would try to, but realize it was too heavy and make up some lame excuse like it was too slippery with his gloves on. Then Red would roll his eyes and pick it up easily, muttering something about how much of a wimp Forman is. Hyde grinned at this accurate hypothesis, and hurried to keep up with Kitty.

* * *

><p>He had never seen so many Christmas trees. Granted, people tend to have just one in their house, but he had only ever seen his friends and been to one ratty tree lot once when he was thirteen. He had never had the whole Christmas experience before. When he was eight, after seeing Forman's tree, he had dragged one of the dead potted plants from outside into his room and made paper decorations for it. It was more like the tree from Charlie Brown than the kind he had seen at his friends' houses and intended to have. Then, when he was thirteen, he scored enough money doing various odd jobs and saving up to buy a small tree, with branches that hadn't fallen yet. His mom had been less than happy about the pine needles everywhere and said the tree could be his Christmas present, explaining her lack of more than a few small gifts for him, but he was fine with that.<p>

Kitty probably knew that he had never had the full Christmas experience, and that was why she had him come with her. At least, that's what he told himself when he didn't want to accept Laurie's first insult.

"Are you alright Steven?"

"Yeah."

Kitty smiled, "you've just been so quiet the past few days."

Oh, the last few days had been anything but quiet for him. "Yeah, about that Mrs. Forman." He paused. He had forgotten about the whole reason he got high (both on drugs and sugar) in the first place. "Uh, some guy from the school called to see why I haven't been there."

Kitty was shocked into silence for a minute. "Oh." Well, this put a definite damper on her day. Poor Steven, it was no wonder he had been so quiet! Well, she couldn't call back until after break anyways. That would give them plenty of time to talk. "Why don't we just worry about that tomorrow?"

"That's cool." Hyde agreed. He could tell her about the stupid lie Forman gave the guy tomorrow then.

"I like that one," he added bashfully, pointing at one of the pine trees. Maybe it was just because he was so short, but it looked huge from his point of view.

Hyde's embarrassment was diminished when he saw a huge smile grow on Kitty's face. "Then that's the one we'll get." He couldn't help but smile at this. Maybe things were going to work out alright after all.

**A/N: There you go, the first Christmas-y chapter! Excuse the cheesy last line. Hope you guys liked it, and please review! And man, did I have fun looking up insults for Laurie and Hyde...only one of which I used. BUt I can use some more in latter chapters! Oh well. **

**Reviews are better than Christmas presents!~She said hopefully.  
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	28. Oh Christmas Tree

**A/N: Well, here's Kitty's much wanted family night (chapter). I have the next 3 at least semi pondered, and two future ones that I can't put in for a while.**

**Merry Hanukah, Christmas, Kwanza, Kwanzanukristmas…or whatever it is you celebrate. What if I posted a chapter on Christmas day? That would be cool! LOL, don't count on it happening. Oh! Happy Festivus for the rest of us.  
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"It looks perfect!" Kitty remarked, looking at their newly installed Christmas tree in the living room.

It looked more gigantic than perfect to Hyde, but hell, any real tree would be perfect by his standards. Then again, he had an actual tree that year he bought it himself, and though at the time it seemed great, this was probably better.

Kitty joyously reached into one of the multiple cardboard boxes around the room and pulled out a sparkling ornament. "Here you go, honey," she smiled, handing it to her daughter. Wow. Kitty actually seemed to be fully enjoying her daughter's presence. She was in a really good mood, then.

With all of the commotion that had been going on recently, what with Red getting fired, and everything that had happened with the kids, the tree had been the last thing on their minds. Christmas Eve was only a day a way, however, so it was a good thing that they finally had their tree. This was the latest they had ever gotten it, and they wasted no time to start adorning it.

"Here, Kitty," Red said, handing her an envelop as he walked back into the room. His wife tore it open to reveal a Christmas card from the Kelso family; Casey, Kelso, and their parents in the back with a bunch more children forming two other rows. There were so many kids that nobody could really keep up with them, but Hyde at least recognized the oldest boys and Brad, as well as a little girl about seven, who he assumed was Nicole, the sister Kelso had gotten Brad mixed up with on the day he gave Hyde the second black eye.

Eric walked over and held a corner of the picture to look at it, with his mom still holding the sides to read the message. He laughed at Kelso's Christmas sweater and asked his mom, "did we even send them a Christmas card?"

"Well yes, of course we did!" Kitty assured. She took great pride in her family Christmas card, as she did every holiday related thing, so she was always sure to send it out to as many people as possible.

"Oh yeah," Laurie butted in, "how did that turn out?" Obviously, she only wanted to see it to make sure _she_ looked good. Whatever her motivations, though, her mom was excited to show it off.

"While you kids look at this, I'm going to get started on some Christmas cookies!" Kitty excitedly announced.

Red sighed. The damn lights were tangled! It would take him forever to get them on the tree. Laurie took a quick glance at herself in the card, and once satisfied, offered to lend a hand. "I'll help you, Daddy!" She enthused in her best innocent tone.

Eric snatched up the family photo from where she had dropped it and showed it to Hyde. "Hey, look at that guy," he laughed, pointing to the full sized Hyde in the picture. Hyde looked to where Forman was pointing then sighed and turned away. "Jesus," he murmured. He waited a minute before he dared to look again. Yeah, that was him alright; the key word being _was_. "How long ago was this, man?"

Forman blew his bangs out of his face and thought. "I don't know, like early November."

Hyde scoffed, still looking at their Christmas card. He tried to do the math of how many weeks that was before the chemistry mishap, but, just like his motor skills, whatever math ability he had had was shot.

"Who wants cider?"

The whole family turned to face the reappeared Kitty, each going up to grab a glass, whether or not they wanted it. Kitty would act sad if they didn't, practically force feeding it to them out of their guilt. "Thanks," they said, some with false enthusiasm, some with real, and one not even trying. She didn't notice though, she was too caught up in the Christmas spirit. Forman had to wonder if she was going to end up with post-holiday depression.

* * *

><p>It was fair to say that Hyde was enraptured with the tree. They had spent a good hour or two decking it out with ornaments and tinsel, and had just put the star tree topper on. It looked pretty awesome, in his opinion. It wasn't like he hadn't seen their trees from previous years, but still, he liked having it. Normally, he wasn't one for being merry and all of that festive, jolly crap, but he had to admit, it made the room seem nicer.<p>

On the other hand, he was happy that he could put the decorating part behind him. Laurie, who had been passing out decorations for the rest of the family to put on the branches, had refused to hand Hyde any breakable ornaments, saying that she didn't want them to wind up broken. He almost wanted to take Laurie's favorite one and drop it, just to prove her right while being mean to her at the same time, but then he realized that the she-devil probably doesn't feel sentimentality towards decorations, being evil and all.

Everyone took a step back to gaze at the pine smelling foliage in their living room corner. Red didn't really care and was just glad that the work was done, but everyone else had a smile on their face, even Laurie. "Oh, it looks great," Kitty admired. She went into the kitchen after that, announcing that dinner would be ready in maybe half an hour.

Hyde had decided to go downstairs and finish wrapping the last of his Christmas gifts to the Forman's and the gang. This was proving to be a challenge.

"That's some, uh…interesting wrapping you got going on there."

Hyde rolled his eyes at this. Leave it to Forman to point out the obvious.

He had two present left to wrap, plus the one he was working on now, and the other ones he had wrapped so far were…far from neat. Annoyingly, the others had been hard to wrap, thus they had end up in messed up cocoons of wrapping paper and tape. Damn little kid hands.

Eric picked up one of the to/from gift tags that Hyde had filled out. "What, did you try to write out Fez's full name?"

Hyde looked at the one he was holding "Nope. That's Kelso's."

Eric turned the paper upside down and looked at it again. "I'm not seeing it."

Hyde took one of the wrapping paper scraps and flipped it over to the blank side. He demonstrated writing his own name to Forman, who just laughed at how bad it was. Hyde wasn't bothered by this though, since he had learned that his handwriting now sucked the day at the hell hole when he wad to write sanity letters.

"You're not even holding the pencil right," Forman pointed out.

Hyde looked at the pencil in his hand and scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. It looked fine to him. Or, he didn't know how to fix it at least. Forman grabbed the eraser to tilt it down in his hand. Hyde rewrote his name, with Forman's adjustment, but it still looked like scribbles. The scribbles combined with the terrible wrapping were sending Forman into a slight fit of laughter. "Screw it," Hyde sighed. "I'm just going to throw the rest into gift bags."

"So," Forman smiled, "which one is mine?"

Hyde shrugged with a smile. "Whichever one has your name on it."

"Oh, come on! Now I'll never know!" He exclaimed, examining the unreadable cards.

Hyde scoffed. Christmas was only two days away. Forman was so dramatic.

"Oh…my…god," Eric said dramatically once he saw one of the unwrapped presents. "Is that a rocket?"

"Yep. For Kelso."

"Man!" Eric squealed in delight, "Christmas is going to be awesome this year!"

**A/N: I thought I'd cut it off there instead of being a downer and have mini Hyde say "for you." after that. So anyways! You guys excited for Christmas, or at least the Christmas chapter? I kinda want the Formans to have a party for it, but I wanna post on/close to the actual day, so that'll probably come after the actual Christmas chapter. Hope you guys liked this chapter, I'll post another one within a few days ****:)**

***It turns out that my computer account is infected and I'll probably have to delete it. Again. Just like last year. I managed to save what I have of chapter 29, and I'll post it ASAP. Sorry it's taking so long to get up. Happy New Year, though.  
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	29. Not Again

**A/N: Thanks to my computer auto "correcting" meekishly into mawkishly, I learned a new word! Yay! How was your Christmas, or whatever you celebrate? Mine was good! I'm getting singing lessons and got Dragon! Yay! Sorry for the long update time; I haven't been able to use my computer until today, as it got a virus. And my brother kept stealing my computer…so I'm giving Eric much of the same thing(s) my lovely big brother got for Christmas. OK, that's all the rambling I can think of at the moment, read on! **

Yep. Forman was already awake, kneeling at the tree to shake presents, just like Hyde had suspected. "Shaking presents, Forman? How are you the older one here?" He just didn't get it.

"Because, if I wake my dad up, he'll yell at me, and my ass doesn't like being threatened this early in the morning. But I need to know what's in these boxes...I'm-" Hyde stopped listening at this point. He had heard Forman's Christmas list (or rather, his ranting) enough times already.

Every year when they were little, Eric and Laurie would wake up whoever slept in later and sneak downstairs to see how much loot they got. Well, that was before Laurie started asking for boys for Christmas. At first she was happy with barbie dolls, then she was happy with Ken dolls, and then it was hair products,and now she was bored with anything that wouldn't French kiss her later that day. Forman, however, had simple tastes. Some new less lame clothes, some more music to listen to, you know, the basic stuff that teenagers ask for when they are too afraid to ask for dolls, or "action figures" in his case.

Laurie tiptoed into the living room, dismayed to see that her brothers had already beat her to it. She was secretly hoping to just take a peak at the presents, just for old times sake. Heck, maybe some relatives had sent her some money or something. "Sorry, man," Hyde told her, "Macy's was all out of guys this year. The whole whore aisle was empty, actually. But why go to the trouble of buying one and losing money for it when _you_ usually get money for getting them?" Hyde finished with a shrug. Forman laughed at Laurie, enjoying her face even if he hadn't been the one to scorn her.

"Look, Red, the kids are already up!" Kitty said to her husband as she waltzed downstairs.

Everyone settled around the tree, ready to open gifts. Eric went first, opening something his father handed him. He tore into the wrapping paper and found... "a shirt. Thanks guys," he mumbled, disappointed. Red muttered something about how he didn't have to whine, it wasn't like he wouldn't get anything else. Eric tore into the next one less eagerly and found another shirt. It wasn't like he didn't like the shirts, but it _was_ Christmas after all. He was hoping for something a little more exciting.

Laurie waited until her parents were busy with their own gifts before she gave hers to Hyde. "Here you go, Shrimp." Hyde stared blankly at her a moment before he ripped off the pink (yes, pink) wrapping paper that Laurie had used to bug him. One look inside the box, and the momentary blank stare returned. "You like it?" Laurie asked maniacally. Hyde picked it up out of the box; a _teddy bear. _He squished its stomach and nodded. "You know, man, if I hollowed this out, it would make a good hiding place for my stash," he informed her, turning the thing in his hands. No, Laurie was not going to get the satisfaction of annoying him today. She stiffened, disappointed that Hyde wasn't bothered. "So what did you get me, Twerp?"

"That's funny, Laurie," the kid smiled, then said sarcastically "oh wait, you were serious?" He took in her disbelieving face before he explained, "c'mon, Laurie. I'm not that bad of a brother." He handed her a huge wrapped box, which she suspiciously opened.

She asked incredulously, "you got me a lollipop?" She help up the tiny occupant of the gift box and glared at him.

"Yeah," Hyde smiled, "I know how much you like licking and sucking on things, right? Sorry, they were out of Kelso flavor." His sister sneered at him for this.

Hyde reached for another present, this time from Forman. He smiled once he say what was inside; a huge Zeppelin poster. "Thanks, Forman," he smiled gratefully at Eric, who dismayed as he himself opened yet another shirt.

"C'mon! This is like, the seventh shirt I've gotten!" Wasn't he going to get anything different?

"Here, man," Hyde interrupted, "to spare your misery."

Eric shook the package, and was relieved that it sounded like something plastic and not fabric. "Yes! An action figure! This is awesome! I've wanted to add this...I mean, thanks, Hyde," Forman said, trying to rectify his girlishness. Hyde laughed and told him he was welcome.

Hyde got some nice stuff, mainly music related. He figured that Mrs. Forman had probably bought him tons of clothes like Forman before the...shrinking happened. He didn't really care though. He was looking forward to tomorrow night, when the Forman's were having a Christmas party. Good times were in store, he could tell.

* * *

><p>"Oh, Eric, I love it!" Donna squealed as Eric placed the necklace he bought for her on her pale neck. He silently sighed, relieved that he actually bought a good gift for once.<p>

Jackie was quietly watching from the corner where she was sulking. This was the first party she had gone to without a date since she was eleven! To make matters worse, stupid Michael and his stupid family were in the next rooms. Ugh, this party was so lame. If her friends didn't have presents to give her, she wouldn't have come.

She stood up, dissatisfied with the display of affection before her. All of the local old people, otherwise known as parents, were in the next room, so there was nothing to do anywhere! Not with that lying, cheating dirt bag in the basement.

"Donna, I need to talk to you."

Donna moved her head to see around Eric. "Jackie, can't it wait?"

Forman giggled, "Donna, don't you know that Jackie doesn't know what waiting is?"

"Shut up!" Jackie yelled. "And your party is stupid. I'll be in the living room if anyone thinks of something...not stupid to do." Donna and Eric simultaneously sighed in annoyance at this.

"Well, my mood's been killed," Eric said, "you know, unless you want to go up to my room-"

"Cut it out!" Donna laughed. "Oh! I almost forgot your present!"

Eric did a mental happy dance when she said this. He just knew that his girlfriend would get something awesome for him. "No matter what it is, thanks, Donna, it can't be any worse than what my parents got me. Not that you'd ever get me something _not_ good!" he stuttered, "It's just, anything with you will make tonight better." He frowned at his slip up, and then brushed tissue paper aside to see into the gift bag Donna had handed him. "Oh...a shirt. This is great, Donna, really."

Damn. Not again.

**A/N: I'm going to cut off there because I have to save some of it for next chapter. There will be more partying, comedy, and drama. Oh yes, cravingsmiles, _that _drama :) Mwahahaha. And again, sorry I couldn't update sooner. I have to study for my exams that come up in about 2 weeks, but I'm sure I'll still squeeze in some updating.** **I can't tell you guys that drama is coming and then leaving hanging, can I?**


	30. Going Up In Smoke

**A/N: You know how you have plans for a chapter and it takes over and writes itself? Yeah, that happened here, though, as cravingsmiles can tell you, the ending went how it was supposed to. Yes, you'll be...it's dramatic, OK? This is the turning point. Stuff will spur from this. Also, I think this chapter takes the cake for most cussing in a single chapter of Hyde's Redo. Nothing you haven't heard before, though. And now, the 30th chapter extravaganza... **

"_Brad_?" Hyde stopped in his tracks. What was Kelso's kid brother doing in the basement? A better question was why did Kelso's parents bring their whole troop of kids to the party?

"Hi Steve!" Brad chirped cheerfully. Hyde groaned. Why, _why_ did kids insist on naming him Steve? "Want to color?"

"Color?" Kelso giggled.

"Yeah, me and Steve and Jodi and…the other ones color at daycare."

Kelso burst out laughing hysterically.

"What are you talking about?" Hyde said, trying to play it cool.

"Remember, you colored that leaf, and that guitar that got Lizzie sneeze on it?"

Kelso, even though he was as dumb as a post, still got it, and was still laughing.

"No," Hyde said, looking around the basement. Damn, there were Kelso's everywhere. It was like invasion of the idiotic. "Kelso," Hyde demanded the oldest of the bunch in the room, "why did you let them into the basement, man?" It was an unspoken (Well, except for the first time Kelso brought Jackie down there) rule that none of the gang could bring any of their outside relations into the basement. Inner circle only.

"Because, they keep getting kicked out from up-"

"Hey!" Hyde interrupted Kelso, yelling at one of his little sisters. "Don't touch that!" She was in his lawn chair, holding the bear from Laurie that, in the time between opening it and the start of the party, he had stuffed full of his stash.

"Why not?" The girl said snidely, in a tone that reminded him of a combination of Laurie and Jackie. Damn, if she really was a combination of those two…that would _suck_, man!

"Because I said so, and it's mine!"

Kelso's sister smiled evilly. Oh man, maybe she was a combo of those two. Shit. "You want your little baby bear?" She teased. Hyde reached for it desperately. For God's sake, it wasn't like he was a little kid who cared about stuffed animals, but this one was stuffed with drugs! Maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all. But come on, whoever thought that a little girl would actually steal his druggie bear?

"Kelso, tell your stupid sister and her whiskers to give it back!" Hyde yelled, climbing on to the chair to grab the stuffed animal from the girl, who slapped him for calling her whiskered.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Kelso chanted, jumping up from the sofa.

"Get bent!" Hyde yelled at both of them, desperately grabbing for the bear. At this point, he wasn't even thinking about his original "heroic" action of keeping his stash safe from an innocent kid, he was just kind of in a rage now.

He had a firm hold on the girl's arm, which probably hurt her, considering how skinny her arm was and how tightly he was squeezing her. She kicked him in the stomach in an effort to get him away. It worked.

"Have your stupid bear!" She yelled, throwing it at his head. He snatched it from the floor and held it tightly to his chest without realizing it, able to feel the full plastic bag inside of it.

Dude. Holy shit…Did he just have a temper tantrum?

That was…_NOT _cool, man.

"Hey, is this mine?" Kelso said, holding up a rectangular box wrapped in white wrapping paper covered in little pictures of Disney's Goofy.

"Yeah," Hyde fumed.

"A ROCKET!" Kelso screamed loud enough to make all of the kids in the room cover their ears in pain. "This is the coolest thing since…since…lawn darts!"

* * *

><p>"Why did you drag me here, man?" That was the first thing Hyde asked when let out of Kelso's van.<p>

"Because," Kelso said enthusiastically, "I'm going to fire the rocket off the water tower." Oh, yeah. That was totally safe. What could go wrong? It wasn't like this was _Michael Kelso _or someone like that. Except; oh, wait, it was, and this was a horrible idea.

_I_f Hyde hadn't gotten all fired up about the stash bear, and then about Kelso technically kidnapping him to bring him here, he would smirk menacingly and pretend that it was a great idea, just so Kelso would cause the worst to happen. He did love Kelso and chaos, after all. They really were the perfect couple. But right now, he was just mad as hell.

Kelso, however, was naively ecstatic. "OK, remember to bring my stash up. 'Cause what's better on Christmas than doing the circle on a water tower while you watch a rocket explode?"

Hyde huffed in anger as Kelso shoved a bag and lighter into his hands. Not to mention, it was just a model rocket; it wouldn't actually explode. Then again, nothing is impossible when Kelso is around.

Kelso fumbled for a moment, trying to figure out how to climb the ladder while holding the rocket. He shrugged, unzipping his coat and putting it underneath before zipping it up tightly.

He ascended slowly, leaving Hyde on the ground, forgotten.

Hyde sighed, still furious, and reached for the first wrung of the ladder.

He couldn't reach it. Even on tiptoes, it was a few inches out of reach. Well, it was a merry fucking Christmas after all. Just a great damn day. He kicked one of the legs of the water tower in fury, then hopped around from the resulting pain. The fact that he was so mad was making him madder, because, in true child fashion, he couldn't control it. It was all impulsive.

He impulsively ripped open the brown paper bag from Kelso, causing the smaller baggie to fall out, when an idea hit him…

In the heat of the moment, he almost burned himself accidentally with Kelso's lighter. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

A few moments later, things started to take affect. Only, it wasn't in a good way…something was off. He could barely breath, and his chest hurt, and he was sweating. "Kel…" he started to call, but he was too out of breath, "Kel…so…Ke…" It hit him then; this reminded him of one time when he was hanging out with this older kid. He was about eight or nine and the other kid was maybe fourteen. It was before he was friends with Forman, he used to walk around with this kid sometimes. And the kid started hyperventilating and sweating while smoking one day and passed out. They said he overdosed.

He saw a burst of orange light from above, and almost thought he was dying until, with a scream, his kettle head friend landed with a loud thump a few feet away.

It turns out they both had the same thought; "call 911."

**A/N: And there it is! This will become crucial to most of the remaining chapters (don't worry, there are plenty left). I do feel bad about this though...this is why children should not do drugs. Though, guilty as I am, I am excited for what I shall do with this. Are you guys? I gotta say; mad Li'l Hyde is adorable in my mind. And I like this chapter. I'm just weird about drug related chapters. But anyways, reviews please! **

**And since we ARE at the 30th chapter, may I just thank all of you for putting this on alert, favorite, reviewing, and reading. You guys make my day, and btw, if you don't get Kelso's reference to lawn darts, go look them up right now.  
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	31. What Were You Thinking

**A/N: Hello, loyal readers! Long time no see! Err…song time no address in an author's note? Anyways, sorry I left you hanging for so long, especially with my oh-so-dramatic cliffhanger ending last time. Trust me, I have good excuses, including; studying for exams, 3 of which I still have left, and family issues. But I'm here now! Yeah, I'll still have to study for my 3 biggest exams, which means another gap between this and next chapter, but I promise it won't be as long this time. I don't even know how long it's been, actually. Anyways, Oh! I remembered! Please go read and review my That 70's Show one shot entitled "Eggshells." I'm rather proud of it and I would really love to know what you guys think ****:)**

Hyde squirmed uncomfortably in his hospital bed. Kelso had dialed 911, and once they got here, both were taken care of. Kelso had a sprained ankle and broken wrist, which was lucky considering how far his fall was. Hyde, however, was treated for a drug overdose. Sure, Kelso fell off a water tower chasing a rocket, but at least his injury didn't warrant social service's involvement. Then again, it had been Kelso's stash that Hyde had smoked. They may both have been medically stable, but in every other sense, they were circling the drain.

"Why do I always fall off the water tower?" Kelso asked his roommate, annoyed with himself. Or maybe he was just confused, which was more common for him.

"Because you're an idiot," Hyde explained. He looked at Kelso's face and rolled his eyes. "You know man, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm a bigger idiot than you."

"You really think so?" Kelso smiled, hearing only a compliment to himself.

"Yeah," Hyde said quietly after a pause. "Listen, man, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Smoking your stash."

"It's OK, Hyde, I have more," Kelso reassured him.

"No," Hyde corrected, "I mean because now you're caught up in all this."

"In what?"

Hyde normally would have sighed at Kelso's repetitive ignorance, but at the moment, he just hated breaking the news to his airhead friend. "Because now social services and maybe even the cops are going to get involved, because it's _your _stash that I illegally smoked."

Kelso frowned. "Oh." He looked at Hyde's pained face and thought for a minute. "You know, Hyde, chicks dig bad boys. I bet talking to the cops will give me a total boost with the ladies. If you mix this face with danger, girls won't be able to stay away!"

"You're already dangerous."

"Yeah, but now I'll be legally dangerous! I'll be even hotter! Man, I didn't even think that was possible."

Being a criminal was Hyde's thing; it's what brought girls to _him_. But, that wouldn't work for him now, so he might as well pass it on to Kelso. Though, he didn't break laws for the chicks. Then again, neither was Kelso; he was just trying to make the best out of a crappy situation.

"Maybe you can finally attract cool chicks instead of the bitchy whore type."

"Jackie….you know, Hyde, I kind of miss her."

"You know what you should do, Kelso?" Hyde asked. Kelso turned his head and listened intently. "You should go to the hardware store-"

"Uh huh."

"Get some metal and screws and junk."

"And do what?"

"Build a time machine with it."

"Hyde…"

"No, wait, man, I'm not done. Build a time machine, go back in time, _don_'_t _make out with Laurie. That way, Jackie won't break up with you and I won't have to hear you whine about it."

"But…" Kelso mumbled, "I don't know how to make a time machine!"

"You don't, man?" Hyde said in sarcastic surprise.

"No…" Kelso started. "But police are going to talk to me? Oh! Am I going to be handcuffed to an interrogation table with a good cop and a bad cop?"

"I don't know, Kelso," Hyde said, wiping nervous sweat off of his palms. "The Man doesn't like kids doing stashes, so probably, since it was your stash. I don't know." Man, this was bad. They were probably going to take him away from the Foreman's. Red was going to hate him, Kitty was going to be so disappointed, and he was going to lose Eric. It was just a matter of time until they arrived here. Someone was probably calling them right now.

"Man, I ruined Christmas," Hyde said, drowning in guilt and terror. He was so nervous, he couldn't sit still, and he was sweating all over.

"You look like you're gonna blow chunks," Kelso noted in an amused tone, searching the table beside his bed for a marker to start doodling on his cast with. Hyde really couldn't decide if Kelso being made things better or worse.

"Hey, do you think I should draw a dinosaur on my cast?" Kelso asked. "No! I should draw _girls_! Hot girls! And I can…"

Kelso stopped as a particularly hot nurse walked in. "You have visitors." Kelso started to open his mouth, but she cut him off; "not you. _Him_." She pointed at Hyde, who took a shaking breath. He almost wished that when the nurse had asked, he hadn't given her a contact number.

The nurse went out of the room and came back a moment later, pulling the door open to let two slim figures through the door.

Donna smiled at the nurse and waited until she closed the door. "You morons!" She yelled at her two friends. Eric was totally silent, arms crossed.

"Where's Red?" Kelso asked. Donna angrily explained that because they didn't have proper medical records for Hyde, at least not the miniature version who had given a fake last name, Red and Kitty had been stopped to clear things up.

"What even happened?" Donna fumed.

"I was just trying to catch my rocket," Kelso explained.

Donna sighed. Kelso falling off the water tower didn't surprise her at all, and normally Hyde doing drugs wouldn't, but she thought that he was smart enough to lay off his stash now.

"What were you thinking, Hyde?" The redhead demanded.

At this point, the scrawny, silent boy in the corner sadly decided to speak up. "I think I know."

**A/N: And I'm ending it there because I don't know where else to end it! Don't worry, next chapter will be better. There will be disappointed Donna and Kitty, brotherly Eric, and a speech by Red, which is what I'm most excited for. I have to break it into two chapters in that respect for length. Again, sorry for the long update time and I hoped you liked it :)  
><strong>


	32. Inescapable

**A/N: I'm a jerk. I said I'd update soon and I left you guys hanging again. I've been having to make up exams I missed and I had drama stuff. And I've taken to reading a lot more FF. And I'm still obsessing over the Saw movies; I thought of this ridiculous crossover…I described it in my profile. I think I'm crazy because the connection between the 2 movies came out of nowhere and then I thought about it, and in my mind it actually makes sense, but I feel like these 2 together should not make sense. So I'm sort of enjoying being off my rocker these days. Enough rambling. Enjoy the chapter. **

The other three kids looked at Foreman apprehensively.

"Is this because of school?" Eric asked, "because I made up that stupid excuse about the tree and you have to drop out?"

Hyde was almost relieved for a second before he realized that he had no reason to be. Damn school was not his reason for it, but maybe it hadn't just been the ladder; it was probably just every crappy occurrence piling up, annoyance and embarrassment and anger ruining his judgment. Well, actually Eric had hit the nail on the head of you wanted to talk about the first time Hyde-

"Is that it?"

Christ, it was so tempting to lie right now. He simply shook his head, unable to force the production of words.

Eric's sad eyes loomed over Hyde. Hyde almost wanted to punch him, call him a hypocrite. He did this stuff all the time, too, didn't he? Damn Forman was no stranger to the circle. Hyde hadn't even smoked as much as they usually did in one circle sitting. This was bullshit.

"So if it wasn't because of that," Donna said, "then what the hell were you thinking?"

It was killing him not to totally lose his Zen. Here his best friends were; who had probably been in the circle themselves earlier today, talking down to him while he was being yelled at for doing what he used to do all the time. Having done what his reputation was built upon. _It wasn't fucking fair_. But then, his life had never been fair, didn't mean he bitched about it. It looked like everything was different, but that was because everyone else was trying to make it different. He was just trying to keep things the same. Screw this.

"Get b-"

"Alright, you two out!" It was Red, like the pissed off Grim Reaper himself come to take Hyde down to Hell.

Donna and Eric hesitated, sending a final glance at Hyde, and left the room.

"You-" Red sighed in frustration, wanting to kick Kelso out, but knowing that he probably couldn't. Oh well, even if he kicked the kettle head out, Kelso would probably be able to hear Red's yelling from the waiting room. Or outside the door where he may or may not have decided to ease drop.

"What in…why were you at…" Red was stammering now, wanting to scream too many different questions at a time, and then yell some more before the curly haired little criminal could answer.

As expected, his furious speech included a torrent of cursing and "dumb asses."

"Why? You know what, I don't even want to hear your answer, it's because you're a dumb ass! I don't know how many times we've told you morons not to do drugs, and here you go and get yourself overdosed! Do you know how stupid that is?" Hyde did.

"Now the damn authorities are going to get involved! You could get yourself taken away! And I don't know how we're even going to explain your records. You're lucky this didn't happen two months ago, because if it had, I would have kicked you out so fast, your ass wouldn't have time to recover between my foot and the pavement." Another damn reason that Hyde wished this chemical crap never happened; he deserved to be kicked out.

"But since I can't do that you…" Red trailed off. The kid was pretty much grounded anyways, it was nearly impossible to get him to leave the house. He wasn't sure what to do. This was beyond reckless stupidity.

"And don't you tell me that you're the same old Steven," Red threatened. He didn't have to.

Hyde didn't want this kid to be associated with the old him. Nobody saw Hyde as his old self, and he didn't really want anyone who knew about this little Hyde to consider them the same. Not after today, anyways. He wished he's run into some person who new him from before and wouldn't recognize him. He wanted a taste of familiarity.

There was no point in wishing. That wouldn't change things. What he needed to do was think about what he could change. Which…was pretty much nothing at the moment. He didn't know what he wanted either way. Why couldn't he think productive thoughts instead of just having his brain play his useless thoughts in a loop?

"Because the Steven I know would never have done this!"

A silence fell over the room. Red and Hyde were left to soak in the words, while Kelso was biting back his tongue, knowing he should resist temptation to tell Red that this is exactly the sort of stuff old Hyde did. It was the same stuff he did. It was what they all did.

Perhaps Kelso was being the unbiased, levelheaded one here? No, not possible…Hey, wait a minute! Kelso left his rocket at the water tower didn't he? Awe, man! He was looking forward to playing with it…but back to Hyde and Red.

Hyde was thinking deeply. Come to think of it, he pretty much _was_ different, not just on the outside. Or maybe Red was just getting to him.

Red's brows furrowed and his face lightened slightly. "What in God's name were you thinking, Steven? I know you're one of the dumb asses, but I thought you were a little smarter than the rest of them." If anyone, he thought his own son or maybe the king idiot, Michael Kelso, would be the one to get in trouble for drugs. Or maybe the girls would do them, trying to rebel. Yes, Steven was the type who would do them, and he was probably the first of them to try drugs, but Red thought he had a good amount of common sense. Thinking about his own words, maybe this little Steven was different.

"Steven," Red mumbled. "You were a good kid. Well, better than a lot of them." Considering his upbringing, he was a great kid, but Red couldn't say that. Kitty liked to think that Hyde had been forced to learn charisma at an early age to get by. That was why they had taken him in. A good kid, a sad story, Kitty being too nice, Red having just an inkling of a heart. "Why the hell did you do it?"

This time, he was actually sincere, actually giving Hyde time to answer.

"I, uh…" Hyde was sort of calmer now, but he didn't want to tell Red that it was because he couldn't reach some stupid ladder, and he would sound like a girl if he went into a Formanish rant about why everything in his life was making him stressed. Holy shit, the drug bear! How had he managed to forget the thing that made him mad in the first place? Well, no way in hell could he tell Red about that. That would just make things worse.

"Uh, did Forman tell you about the school calling?"

**A/N: I sort of want to skip ahead to Valentine's day after this chapter, and just recap what happened in the time lapse, but I know you guys would probably disapprove. But the Valentine's chapter is going to be so cute! Yes, it'll have couplings. It won't be all about Mini-Hyde, but don't you worry, I have big plans for him. So skip? No skip? Well now with the lying drama, I probably won't. **

**Either way, I hope you liked this one, aren't mad for the long update time (I'm obsessing over some fics now and I can't even wait 24 hours for an update. I'm so impatient.) and REVIEW please! Also, I may be asking for opinions on stuff later. For Valentines related things. But you don't need to know that. PLEASE review! And I'm also thinking of writing some more fics at the same time as this one, as I mentioned at the top. I hope some of you guys like my other fandoms and would read that. Dang, this A/N is far too long. BYE ****:)**


	33. Take It

**A/N: Chapter 33...lalalalala, 33, lalalalala. Yes, I **_**am **_**very eloquent today. Well, I've gotten over 80 reviews to thank you people! What was up with the log in being down? I'm not so happy about that. Oh, and craving smiles; puppies. Don't worry, other readers, that's completely irrelevant and in inside joke, as you could probably tell. OK, enough small talk, on to the chapter! (Italics=flashback)**

Finally, a few days after Christmas, things had started to seem more or less settled. They had told the truth, but told it slant. The story went something like this; Hyde had learned from his biological mother about drugs, which explained the smoking, and he had "stolen" them from Kelso's truck and done what he had seen done countless times. Kelso got a fine for possession or something, Hyde wasn't too sure. He was being kept out of the loop and he wasn't sure if it was because everyone blamed him or wanted to protect him. Either way, it had all left him dizzy and annoyed.

Telling the others hadn't been much more fun, but at least he felt too defeated to give a crap if Jackie, Fez, or even Laurie found out what happened. If you call that a good thing.

* * *

><p><em>It felt good to be home. Well, it wasn't so much nice to be home as it was nice to be out of the hospital. <em>

_Hyde went directly to the basement and plopped down in his typical chair. His head was sort of spinning. He had been harassed by a plethora of people, from the Forman's to Social services, and it had left him feeling like someone had been rhythmically beating him with a bat for a few hours on end. _

"_Alright, somebody tell me what happened. Jackie Burkhart _cannot _be the last one in on gossip." Of course, the cheerleader had to invade his homecoming (oh well, it wasn't really a "celebratory" homecoming anyway.) _

"_I overdosed," Hyde said flatly in return._

"_You WHAT?" Jackie gasped. Anyone could tell by the look on her face that she was overwhelmed with this juicy piece of news. She even looked a bit surprised. Man, if Hyde had been in school still, she would have spread this around so fast-_

"_Hello, my friends," said Fez cordially as he strolled into the basement._

"_HYDE OVERDOSED!" Jackie screamed at the sight of him. Fez merely blinked, taking her words into account before he finally put them together. In contrast to Jackie's reaction, he looked sort of disappointed. He was probably just bummed that none of his dear friends had bothered to let him in on this. _

_The two of them blathered on for a while about their surprise, and Hyde rolled his eyes and responded honestly, eager to shut them up and not caring what they thought. Donna was there as well, and she occasionally interjected expressions of disappointment, though she was running out of things to say. Hyde got it though; she wasn't being a jerk, she was being genuine._

_Eric came down midway through this fun fest, a look of confusion smeared across his face. "Hyde, what the hell man? I thought you said it wasn't about dropping out!" Jesus, Red must have blabbed. _

"_What?" Kelso, Fez, and Jackie said in unison._

* * *

><p>Yeah, it had been an unending couple of days. It was nice to just lay on his bed and listen to the silence. The <em>old <em>Hyde would have been more annoyed and gotten mad or something, but the fact that he was in his room moping about how the "old" him would have reacted was proof that he was different. And he was sort of moping about that…the moping.

He was glad tonight was New Year's Eve. Sure, there was the downside of entering the new year in the wrong age and all that jazz, but at least it was a somewhat enjoyable occasion. And unlike the last holiday, he wouldn't fuck it up. All drugs were out of sight and out of reach from children.

If he didn't stop wallowing in self pity soon, he would drown it in. Pathetically. How pitifully lame.

"Fez, man!" He looked out of his bedroom door. It was Kelso, holding a tray of tiny jello cups in his uninjured arm…oh. OH. Jello _shooters_.

Hyde grinned deviously. Tonight was looking up. Maybe looking at the illegal, underage activities from the _outside_ would end up better. At least for him.

He wanted to instigate a competition to see who could down the most shots between Fez and Kelso, but he was still on "parole" so to speak, so it was better not to burn anyone. He just had to hope they would burn themselves.

Luckily Eric got a similar idea and the two were soon shooting shot after jello shot down their throats. Hyde was tongue-in-cheek and even Donna didn't object, just held a hand over her mouth to stifle laughter.

Jackie seemed pleased, maybe because she got to watch the boy who cheated on her make a dumb ass out of himself.

Soon enough, the two victims were stumbling around the basement, practically waiting for some parent to find out.

"Hey," Kelso said eventually, "you sure that was jello? Because it was way more awesome than usual jello." Eric giggled at the kettle head's slurred words. "D'you know, Forman? Cause you totally missed out."

If only Red hadn't caught him for getting tipsy last time, he would have waived the risks and gone for it with the other two guys. Hell, if it was truly a free country, they'd all have joined in.

* * *

><p>"And now for fireworks!" Announced a drunk Kelso.<p>

Eric immediately stepped in. "Whoa, hold on there, buddy. I don't even trust you with fireworks when you're sober.

"Relax, Foreman, it's just my rocket!" Kelso's first resolution out of the hospital was to fetch his rocket and repair it. Now he was setting it up on the Forman's lawn, much to Eric's chagrin.

"No, if that thing crashes into my house, you know whose ass Red is going to skin? Mine."

"Lemme do it," Hyde said, stepping up to the rocket. He targeted it in the general direction of Kelso's parked car.

"Thanks, Hyde," Kelso said sloppily.

"No problem man."

"Three. Two. One. Blast off!" Fez chanted before Kelso sent the rocket into his car, leaving a light dent on the hood. "MY CAR!" He ran off towards it to examine the damage. "I borrowed that from Casey…"

The others turned to look at Hyde. "Nice job, man," Eric congratulated.

"Yeah," Kelso hiccuped in absent minded agreement, "take that Casey's car. Take…that."

**A/N: Yeah. Gonna end it there. I'll include Laurie next chapter. Sorry if I have no idea how a drunk Kelso would act. Just go with it. I'm a bit sick of writing angst chapters, so I added in drunk Kelso and a bit of drunk Fez, and next chapter (Valentine's, yay!) Should be mainly comedy, with mentions of how the Eric/Red school lie thingy and the actual dropping out and Laurie's reaction (which may very well end up comedic). So there. Happy Valentine's day in case I can't update tomorrow. Eat lots of chocolate. Here, I wrote you a poem. Yes, you, specific reader. Roses are red, violets are blue, you're super awesome, please review.**


	34. Misfire

**A/N: Yay! The Valentine's Day chapter! Don't let this chapter fool you, I have no problem with this holiday, because I got chocolate! Hooray! Oh, right, be polite, me. How was your Valentine's Day? I've been excited for this chapter.. Been planning it for a while. Not quite sure what I want to come next. Yes, this does mean that I have skipped forward a few months.**

"Happy Valentine's day!" Oh, God, make it stop. The second he was shoved through the familiar door of the hell hole, Hyde was bombarded by this phrase. Valentine's Day was just a stupid holiday made up by the man for Hallmark stores to make money off of. Also, Valentine's Day is different depending on age. For obscenely old people, it's probably just to send cards to kids and grand kids, just to prove to the world that they're still there. For middle aged people, it's either to show, whether it's true or not, your spouse that you still care, or wallow in sadness about being unmarried. For college kids and teenagers, it's a chance to get laid, and for kids and everyone associated with them, it's all about candy and paper hearts.

Ugh. Nearly everyone was dressed in red or pink. Hyde was happy to be wearing black. Shows what he thought of this holiday. He almost wanted to crawl back into the car with Laurie. The conversation between them had been surprisingly pleasant. When he had told her about getting busted for overdosing, she just shrugged and said "whatever. It was going to happen to you eventually." Yeah, she had seriously meant what she said, but at least she didn't bother him about it. Ever since then, she had been one of the people he could tolerate the most. Hyde was sure she would be "collecting valentines" tonight.

Lizzie, who was uncharacteristically wearing a red ruffled dress, ran up to greet Hyde. He figured she was going to say hi, but instead, she pointed to Brad and jerked her head towards Hyde, saying; "see! I told you he didn't die!" Hyde stared at her quizzically. Yeah, it had been a while since he was here, but dead? Little kids were dumb, man.

Brad scuttled out of his char with a sloppy smile across his face. "Hi Steve!"

"Uh…hey, Brad." Hyde said.

"Stevie!" Jodie gasped, bug eyed. She must of thought he was dead, too.

Hearing everyone talk caused Wendy to turn her head and soon she too had joined the little posse.

Hyde didn't like this. He still wouldn't accept that he had somehow become a part of this gang in addition to his real gang.

"Lollipop?" Wendy asked, shoving one at Hyde's chest.

Hyde stuttered for a second. "That's cool," he finally settled on. Wendy smiled as if she had somehow triumphed and dropped the candy into his hand. Man, she really got a kick out of people acting the way she wanted them to. Hyde slowly unwrapped the lollipop and stuck in in his mouth, glad to have an excuse not to talk and at the same time forming jokes about Laurie and what _she _puts in her mouth. Typical little boy humor, immediately turning to gross stuff, but he didn't pick up on that.

"All right, kids," one of the wardens called, "sit down, please! It's time to make valentines!"

The lollipop seemed to turn sour. Steven Hyde was opposed to valentines, especially handmade ones, and super especially for damn little kids.

Hyde decided to screw with the instructions and make "abstract" valentines, which really meant cutting paper into random shapes to annoy the perky wardens. He grinned at their slight frowns as they glimpsed at his work.

"Cool," said Brad admiringly.

"That's not how you're supposed to make them!" Wendy complained.

Lizzie looked sort of shocked. "You can make them however you want, stupid!" She argued, holding up hers, which was a triangle shaped card with a picture of a rabbit on it.

Wendy's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "That's wrong."

Hyde swayed his head back and forth. No such thing as wrong here. Of course, his disagreement with the girl didn't mean he wanted to make cards.

Kids were scurrying around the room, passing out cards and candies to the objects of their momentary desire. Wendy gave one to some blond boy who seemed to be accumulating a large pile, and Lizzie kept staring at a red haired boy, but refused to give him a card. Instead, she put her valentine cards in her backpack and went over to shove the boy. Brad was deep in thought, making what must have been his seventeenth card, sticking his tongue out in concentration.

Jodie was swinging her legs and giggling. "Here," she said softly, dropping a piece of paper shaped like a heart in front of Hyde.

Hyde stopped what he was doing suddenly. Shit. This kid _liked_ him? He scrunched his face up in a mixture of disgust in confusion, almost gagging on instinct. Jesus Christ, he felt almost like a pedophile. Well, no, he didn't return whatever Jodie felt for him, but nonetheless, he still felt nearly sick. Man, was this why she insisted on calling him Stevie? Gross.

"Be my valentine?" Jodie asked hopefully. Brad looked up at her.

Hyde hesitated, figuring out to break his feelings to her as nice as possible. "No."

Jodie looked at him, her lower lip beginning to tremble. Shit, now he made her cry.

"Hey!" Brad said angrily from across the table. "Are you trying to steal my girl?"

Hyde put his hands up in frustration. "What?" Nothing made sense in the ridiculously primitive and stupid social structure of this class. "What are you talking about?"

"Jodie's mine!" Brad insisted, betray lacing his voice.

"Have her," Hyde said, "she's yours, man." This only made Jodie cry harder, and she ran to her sister on the other side of the room. Hyde put his head in his hands. Ugh, he knew today was going to be especially hellish.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Some little boy was asking a girl named Jessica at the next table over.

"Jessie, no!" Brad whined. "Tyler, Jessie's mine!"

"Ew!" Jessie screeched.

Brad didn't notice her reaction, though, because he was too busy stomping off to accuse some other kid of stealing one of "his" girls.

Hyde sat slack jawed for a minute. What the…what the hell just happened? Man, a stake to the head didn't sound so bad about now. Just…what the hell, man?

He looked down at the red card Jodie gave him. Damn. He'd probably throw it away when she wasn't looking.

Later that night, he was telling Laurie and Eric about his day. "You know, a Kelso thinking he's a ladies man and being a moron, authority being lame, made a little girl cry, got some guy mad at me, got some candy."

Eric seemed surprised and amused. "You made a girl cry? What, did you reject her and break her heart?"

Hyde shrugged. "Who cares, man? It's a fake holiday, after all." And after how his fake holiday went, he was going to upgrade it from fake to forcefully forgotten.

**A/N: Yay, unsympathetic Hyde! Thanks cravingsmiles for bouncing off ideas with me for this. Remember that song I told you about? With the deserted island? Yeah, you should read this again while playing that. Anyways, you guys are still awesome even if you don't review, I'm cool with having a horde of readers. So thanks, y'all. Dunno what'll happen next…I have some stuff, but I wanted to save it for later…oh, since I skipped ahead a month or two, little Hyde is now officially 5. Yay! What shall I do to celebrate…hmm…plotting, here I come.**


	35. Everyone's Problem

**A/N: Hello! Bonjour! Salve! Hallo! Hola! This is yet another Valentine's chapter, only this tme it's about the rest of the gang. I think I'll do one more chapter after this, and then maybe I'll do the cute one I've been saving up…we'll see. I hope you guys enjoy this one!**

"Stupid Michael. Bet he's sitting in the basement all by himself on Valentine's day. Because he's a jerk. A stupid, stupid, jerk. Serves him right." Jackie huffed madly.

Donna rolled her eyes. "You miss him, don't you?"

"Yes!" Jackie frowned.

Donna swept her red hair back into a black clip and started applying makeup for her date with Eric tonight. "Jackie, you seriously need to get over him. He's a cheating dirt bag, remember?"

"Yes, but he was _my_ cheating dirt bag!" Jackie lamented. "And liar or not, he's still almost as hot as me."

"Jackie! There are plenty of other guys!" Yes. This was exactly the sort of conversation Donna wanted as she got ready for her Valentine's date.

Jackie wasn't listening. "I bet if I went in there and told him that I already had a date for tonight, he would feel so stupid."

Donna shook her head. "Whoa. First of all, Kelso is stupid. All the time. Secondly, you have a date, and you're still in here whining about him?"

"Well, yeah," Jackie pouted as she plopped down onto Donna's green bedspread. "Please, Donna, do you even know who I am? Any boy in school would be lucky to have me, of course I got a date!"

Donna put the top back on her lipstick. "I really don't see your problem then, Jackie."

"Oh my god, Donna, do I have to explain everything to you?" Jackie could tell by the vaguely annoyed look in Donna's eyes that Donna didn't want to hear the answer, but oh well! She needed Jackie to teach her these things. "Michael is going to be crushed without me, and I'm too good a person to let innocent boys suffer."

"You love making boys suffer!" Kelso also wasn't innocent, but apparently logic wasn't getting through to the tiny brunette today.

Jackie crossed her legs and considered this. "But I can't leave him here unattended, where your boyfriend's whore of a sister could find him!"

"Jackie! Shut up!" Finally Jackie settled into her woe with a resigned "hm!"

Donna, sighing in relief, opened her closet to get out a matching pair of shoes for her expensive, and she thought, smoking hot dress.

"Fez!"

"Ai!" Fez cried out, startled, then laughed awkwardly. "Oh, hello, ladies. What are you doing here?"

"It's Donna's closet," Jackie said, disgusted.

"Donna's closet? Oh, my mistake ladies, I thought it was…" The two glaring set of eyes burning into his own told him that no excuse would pardon him. "Fine. Good day." He strolled towards Donna's door, but spun on his heels at the last second. "Neither of you would be interested in giving Fez a Valentine's kiss?" He looked at the girl's faces again. "I'll go."

"Yeah, you do that," Jackie sneered after him. She waited until Fez closed the door and then snapped up from the bed. "Omigod, Donna, the foreigner heard what I said about Michael!"

"Jackie, everyone knows. It's all you talk about when Kelso's not there. We all know you miss him."

"Am I really that obvious?" Jackie asked.

"Yes!"

* * *

><p>Eric wiggled his tie into place. "Man, I really hope I have enough money to cover dinner with Donna tonight."<p>

"Oh, stop whining and grab some cash out of your little board game," Laurie mocked as she deposited her laundry basket on the floor, her bouncy blond hair moving over her face. Kelso watched on in longing.

"How…how did you know about that?" Forman stammered.

"Oh, please, everyone knows," Laurie insisted. Forman almost gasped in surprise.

"Alls I know is that it's Valentine's day, and I'm all alone." Kelso sounded pretty bummed out. "Hey, Laurie, you want to-"

"Nope." She smiled sweetly.

"Damn, Laurie, I didn't even ask you yet!"

Laurie put her delicate hands on her hips. "Nope. Sorry, I'm in the mood to play with some big boys tonight."

"Uh!" The kettle head squealed at the insult.

Laurie smirked as she waltzed up the cold steps.

"Can you believe her?" Kelso demanded.

Eric crossed his arms. "Yes. Yes, I can." He grinned at Kelso's gaping mouth in response to his insensitivity.

Forman gave a final tug at his tie and brushed any invisible particles that might have been clinging to his shirt away. He walked over to his Candy Land game and pulled out a wad of tens. He had seventy bucks in his wallet including this addition. That better cover dinner with his girlfriend, and if it didn't, then he really should have picked a less expensive restaurant. Man, he better not get mugged tonight, carrying around this much money.

"Alright, Kelso, I'm going to get Donna. Have fun, stay sober, and keep your clothes on," he joked.

"Well, I guess I will, since I have nobody to take them off with!" Kelso bellowed.

"Gross, alright, thanks for that mental image, man," Eric said before cheerfully climbing the stairs to meet Donna outside.

* * *

><p>"Oh my god, Eric, this place looks so expensive!" Donna said in awe.<p>

"Yeah," Forman gulped, "yeah, it certainly does."

He pulled out her seat for her once they had been led to their table and smiled. "So, this menu look good to you? Because, you know, we can go somewhere else if it doesn't." Somewhere less expensive.

"No, Eric, it's perfect!" Donna grinned.

"Really? That's-that's great."

"Yeah, the food looks great," she smiled. God, her smile looked so pretty to him, despite it meaning that he would indeed have to spend most of his money tonight. She was worth it.

"Cool. You know what? Get anything you want, forget money."

Donna giggled. "Eric, that's sweet, but you're not rich."

"Oh really?" He replied in a fake accent, curling his fingers to give himself a fake mustache and monocle. She laughed in amusement, loving this moment.

The words just slipped out of her mouth. "I love you."

**A/N: Cue sappy awing! Although, I may or may not make this her first declaration of love (in place of the "I love…cake" episode. Oh, Eric, how smooth thou art.) I'm glad I could fit in some Fez. I was actually starting to miss him.**

**I hope you enjoyed, and please review!**


	36. I Love

**A/N: Hey, reader's of Hyde's Redo! How is it going? This will be the last of the Valentine's chapter, and then I think I'll go onto the one I've been saving up. I hope you children enjoy this chapter, and as always, review. Please? Actually, I'll care more about reviews for next chapter. Believe it or not (that's intended to be sarcastic, unless this actually does surprise you) I'm an anti-romantic, so though I'm pleased with how these lovey dovey chapters turned out, I'm looking forward to going back to my old ways; annoying characters. Well, after this one. Enjoy, my friends. **

"I love…" Eric looked around, caught off guard. Donna had never told him she loved him before. What was he supposed to say? Sure, he loved her too, but…oh. That might be a good place to start. "I love you too, Donna."

Donna smiled and tilted her head down bashfully. "So…what now?"

Eric smiled, moving her chair closer in so he could lean over and kiss his red haired beauty. "Well, I say we enjoy this dinner and then; I don't know. We could do anything."

Donna took a sip of her water and looked at him quizzically. "Yeah, we could."

"What? What's with that look, did I do something?"

Donna shook her head. "No, no, Eric, this is great. I'm just-kind of surprised at how great it was. I mean, no offense, but you're no Don Juan, and…I hadn't planned on saying that. I just felt right, you know?"

Eric swallowed and looked into her eyes, letting the Don Juan thing pass. "Yeah, yeah it did." Now that he thought about it, it felt really right saying it. "I love you…yeah, that feels good to say. And I do, Donna. I love you."

Donna giggled at his slight revelation and grabbed his hand from across the table.

* * *

><p>Jackie strutted into the basement to get the scarf she had left their earlier. "Oh, Michael. Should have known you'd be here."<p>

Michael seemed caught off hard as his head whipped around, giving Jackie a front row seat to his wide eyes. "What?"

"I just came for my scarf," she explained, trying to coat every word with a superior dignity. "Then I'm leaving."

He looked sort of disappointed. "Oh. So, have a date for tonight?"

Jackie knew right here that she had to correct his train of thought so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. "Yes, Michael, as a matter of fact I do."

He gasped. "What-with who?"

"None of your business."

"Awe, come on, Jackie!" Kelso pleaded.

She snapped around, scarf in hand. "I said _no_, now lay off!" She walked towards the door and paused, saying as an afterthought "shouldn't you be swapping spit with _Laurie_?"

Kelso stood up in alarm and blocked her. "Jackie, wait! I can't let you leave." His eyes crinkled and his lips curled into a frown. He was starting to get some stubble on his chin from not shaving, and his clothes were wrinkled. Kelso obviously wanted everyone to know how he was feeling at a glance. "I-I miss you, Jackie."

Jackie's mouth gaped open, but no words came out. Instead, she hesitated before sitting complacently on the Forman's sofa. She had a date to go to in thirty minutes, yet she let him go on. "I know I screwed up big time." Jackie scoffed. What an understatement. "But the thing is, Jacks; Laurie's no you. I know she's blond and taller and her voice is less annoying-"

"Michael!"

"No, Jackie, let me finish. Even though Laurie was sort of fun to do stuff with, it wasn't worth it. I could do anything I did with her with you, but there are things I can do with you that I could never do with Laurie. Besides, I'd rather have you."

"What, did you plan this speech out?"

Kelso nodded. "Yeah, and you keep interrupting! God, Jackie, just let me finish! I know I broke your heart; I mean, I break a lot of girls' hearts, but you're the only girl that matters. If I can love a girl who's obsessed with unicorns and stuffed animals and clothes and makeup, than there's got to be a lot of good stuff about her, too. I love you Jackie. I've been waiting to tell you that I miss you."

Jackie crossed her arms, but on the inside, she was softening. "You done?"

"Yeah." He looked at her, expecting her to gush romantically and proclaim her never ending love for him.

She squirmed in her seat as her resolve died out. "I missed you too. But!" She added as his eyes lit up and he jumped into the seat next to her, "that doesn't mean I forgive you. You know, I _gave you _my heart, and you just threw it out like it was some piece of trash-like Laurie!"

"Burn," he grinned.

"Michael!" The little cheerleader chastised, "listen to me; I, being the amazing, beautiful, kind, generous, and wonderful person that I am, am willing to give you a second chance. Just know that if you ever pull a jackass move like that again, I'll spread rumors about you so bad, not even ugly girls like Big Rhonda will take you."

"Deal," he agreed, leaning over her.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

He grinned mischievously. "Well, since we're back together, I thought we could, you know."

"Nuh uh, Mr., you're on probation. That means no sex, and I can take back my second chance at anytime. You have to prove yourself."

"Proba...ah, c'mon, Jackie!"

"No, Michael, I've made up my mind." She stared into his puppy dog eyes, enjoying his suffering. "You can kiss me, though." He chuckled and planted a deep kiss onto her lips, barely noticing the sound of the door swinging open.

"Oh," Fez sounded annoyed, looking at the kissing couple, "look what we have here" He looked up to address God, his face covered in frustration. "Why? You let that moron get two hot girls, but Fez cannot even get one?"

**A/N: Wow, that was actually sort of fun to write. I like Kelso and Jackie. Hope you enjoyed, and review por favor. **


	37. Apples and Oranges

**A/N: Hi people! I had the idea for this chapter quite a while ago. I think it reminds me of the earlier chapters. It's got all the classic elements; teasing Eric, stupid Kelso, water guns, and annoyed little Hyde. Hope you like it. **

Eric, Donna, Fez, and Hyde were watching TV in their normal seats until Kelso and Jackie fluttered in happily, their hands intertwined. Sure, they had only gotten together the night before, but despite Jackie's ground rules, they had spent the night making out. Jackie was enjoying being in a couple again, and Kelso honestly liked having Jackie back...and her lips.

"Hey," Kelso said when nobody cared enough to look up, "Jackie and I got back together."

"Great. Now shut up," Hyde said.

"What…you mean you guys don't care?" Kelso asked sadly.

"No, not really," Eric said. His girlfriend, however, was washed over with relief. At last, she wouldn't have to listen to Jackie's constant whining.

Fez straightened in his chair, a stupid smile on his face.

"What?" Eric asked him.

"Oh nothing," the foreigner said, obviously not meaning what he had said, "it's just, finally, Fez knew something before any of you."

Eric smirked smugly. "Well, congrats, Fez."

Jackie put her hands on her hips, unable to believe that Eric was now turning up the volume on the TV. "Um, _excuse me_. In case you didn't hear, I'm in a relationship again! This is serious news!"

Donna turned around. "Jackie, you think everything involving you is big news."

"Exactly!"

"Well," Hyde said, "if you two aren't leaving, you might as well sit down and stop yammering."

"Fine," Jackie agreed, nose in the air, "but I'm not doing it because you told me to."

"Yeah, yeah, now sit down."

"Come, you are blocking the screen!" Fez added.

Jackie furrowed her eyes and pouted. This was not the excited reaction she expected from her big reveal. After all of the drama that had happened the past few months, how could they not care? Stupid friends.

"Hello kids!" Kitty Forman said as she trotted down the steps. "I thought you kids could use a snack, so I brought down some _fresh fruit_!" She sounded enthusiastic and cheery as usual, but her cheer fell flat amongst her kids.

Hyde shrugged, not wanting his foster mom to be rudely ignored. "I'll take an apple."

She smiled somewhat thankfully for having Hyde having saved her minor embarrassment. "Here you are, sweetie."

Fez also grabbed a pear and seemed disappointed as he bit into it only to find out that pears weren't as sweet as he remembered.

"It's so beautiful outside," Kitty continued, "why don't you kids go to the park or something?"

There was a slight pause before each of the kids burst into laughter. "Good one, mom," Eric chuckled.

Kitty shook her head in disappointment and marched back upstairs, determined to get something accomplished unlike the misguided basement gang.

"So, what are we watching?" Kelso asked, his friends' minor reactions already forgotten. Donna informed him that they were watching M*A*S*H.

Hyde bit loudly into his apple, causing Jackie to mumble "hypocrite."

He went to pull the apple out, but it was stuck on his teeth. His yanked it and felt a sudden, sharp pain in his gums. It took him just a second to stop himself before saying "ow." He looked at the apple. It was red and white…with two different shades of both colors and something protruding from it. Fuck, it pulled his tooth out!

He licked his gums and found his fear realized; there was a bloody gap where his left front tooth used to be.

He looked straight ahead, holding back a torrent of cussing.

"Hey, Heidi," Eric teased, "why the red face?"

"Literally," Kelso added, pointing to a small dribble of blood down Hyde's chin.

"Ew!" Jackie squealed in the same manner she had when Kelso had explained why he didn't like Brad.

Donna and Fez were also looking now as Hyde went to wipe his face.

"Damn it," he mumbled, hand still near enough to his mouth to cover the new gap. He pictured a little freckle faced kid with missing front teeth; adorable. It disgusted him. Somehow, it didn't occur to him at that moment that it wasn't worth hiding the missing tooth; after all, it would take weeks to grow back in, and he couldn't cover his mouth for that long. So, he got up from his chair and started for his room.

"You okay?" Forman asked sincerely. Maybe it was because he had spent the last five consecutive hours staring at a glaring TV, but his brain wasn't in the mood to figure out why a five year old kid's mouth was bleeding.

"Fine," Hyde called from his room, searching for the water gun Forman gave him a few months ago.

"What's that for?" Kelso asked, having apparently followed him like a curious little kid.

"Closest thing I have to a gun," he said, hand over mouth. "Since any dignity I still had just got shot to hell."

Kelso grinned. "It's funny, because you said 'shot' and you're holding a toy gun." He giggled and then his face grew deadly serious. "Can I have it?" He asked.

"The gun?"

"Yeah."

Hyde looked at the pathetic chunk of green plastic and back to Kelso's longing face. "No, it's mine."

Kelso pouted much like his girlfriend was in the other room, then his eyes grew wide. "Whoa…"

"What?"

"Your tooth…"

It was then that it dawned on Hyde that he had dropped his hand to pull his gun away from Kelso. The other guys, being nosy, were now standing outside Hyde's bedroom door. "Hyde's tooth fell out!" Kelso announced.

"Oh my god," Eric gasped, amused. Hyde clamped his mouth shut.

Donna's eyes lit up and she laughed good-naturedly. "Hey Hyde, smile," she teased. He shook his head while Jackie snickered incredulously.

He would've told them to can it or face risk of punching if only he could have opened his mouth.

**A/N: Huh? Huh? Whaddya think? Classic torturing Hyde. I know. I had fun writing this though; a nice refresher after all that romantic goo. I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading, mi amigos. Please review, pwitty pweez?**


	38. Pudding

**A/N: Hi peeps. Sorry I took forever to write this. It's been a crazy-making couple of days, I've had school stuff, had to make a Peep Diorama for a contest, had singing lessons, went to a movie; it's been busy. Plus, I've been working on my play for drama class. It involves cannibalism…is that going too far? The whole play is sort of about pushing social boundaries, but I'm quite morbid, so…seriously, would you guys mind watching a play that mentioned survival cannibalism or be way too uncomfortable? The audience should be a bit disturbed, but...  
><strong>

**Anyways, sorry I let this go so long without an update. Hadn't realized I went 3 WHOLE WEEKS. Hope that never happens again. **

"Why do you get the last pudding?" Kelso whined like a five year old.

"Because," Hyde replied dryly, spoon covering his mouth so Kelso couldn't see the tooth-less gap, "I like screwing with you." Of course he wouldn't admit to Kelso (or to himself) that he was apprehensive of pulling another tooth out after yesterday.

Kelso pouted, but turned to open the sliding kitchen door as it was knocked on by a girlish hand loaded with shopping bags.

"Speaking of screwing," Hyde said as Laurie set her stuff down.

"Ha-ha, you're such a clever _little boy_," she snapped back.

As she set her final bag down, she glanced at the grinning child. "What happened to your _mouth_?" She said with a tinge of disgust, or maybe something less severe like sisterly confusion.

Hyde licked the open gap in his smile and shrugged. "What happened to _your_ mouth?" He deflected.

Laurie gave him a "what do you mean?" look.

"C'mon, Laurie," Kelso interjected, not wanting to be left out of the conversation, "The scrapes on your lipstick look an awful lot like bit marks." He grinned stupidly, his thoughts probably consisting mainly of the words "hot" and "naughty."

Laurie Forman groaned. "You two are so lame."

"Ooh, nice comeback, Laurie."

"Nice teeth, Bozo. Does that come in 'all grown up' too?"

Hyde shook his head. "Man, you've lost your touch."

"At least I didn't lose 11 years."

"Really? That's all you can come up with?" Hyde sounded disappointed. What was the point of bantering if Laurie wouldn't put her all into it. "What's wrong, used up all your wit trying to remember what name to call out in bed?"

Laurie rolled her eyes. "Whatever, loser. Enjoy your pudding." She stormed downstairs, presumably to get sexy compliments from Fez or bitch to Eric. Kelso watched her leave, eyes and smile both growing with every hip-swaggering step she took.

Once she was gone, Tall-Dumb-and-Handsome turned back longingly to the pudding cup on the table. "Seriously, Hyde, I wanted that!"

"Get your own damn pudding."

"Hyde, no fair!" Kelso whined. "You and Fez took all the jell-o, too! And Forman took the other pudding cup. It's…it's like I don't get any snack packs at all, man!"

"Alright man, here's my advice; knock a tooth loose. You'll get all the pudding you want."

"Really?" Kelso smiled. He sat back, savoring the thought of getting all the cheap, chocolate flavored snack packs he could eat. "Hold on, man. If I knock a tooth loose, then my smile will be messed up. I don't want to look as stupid as you, I have a reputation with the ladies to uphold. Huh…oh, I got it!" Before Hyde could respond, or even point out that Kelso had inadvertently burned him, Kelso had fled out the door.

After he threw his pudding cup away and tossed his spoon into the sink, Hyde headed downstairs.

People kept coming in and out of the basement from that point on; Jackie, Laurie, and Kitty at one point. No Kelso. Man, he was probably up to something very stupid, which Hyde told Forman and Fez about.

They couldn't wait to see what that something stupid was.

Then, at some point Donna came and demanded that Hyde come upstairs with her.

"What?" He asked, putting on an annoyed tone, not opening his mouth wide enough to show the tooth-missing smile.

"Come on," she said gesturing towards the door.

He mimicked Laurie's "what do you mean?" look from earlier that day.

"I saw Kitty in the driveway a few minutes ago and told her I was going to the grocery store, and she told me to take you."

Hyde narrowed his eyes, which Donna took as him asking "why?"

"She said to get more pudding and jell-o and stuff."

Hyde rolled his eyes, ticked off. Sure, he loved Kitty like she was his real mom, but sometimes her babying, no matter how old he was, pissed him off. Of course she'd get him soft can't-pull-your-teeth-out sort of things.

He scoffed, but nonetheless let Donna lead him to her car. Unfortunately for them, Bob was in her yard.

Bob…who was completely uninformed of Hyde's "miniaturized" state. The fact that Bob had failed to notice how he hadn't seen his neighbor in months was just one of the millions of bits of proof of his intelligence.

Donna quickly opened the door to the back row of her car, hoping to avoid her embarrassing father.

"Donna?"

Donna sighed. "What, Dad?"

His eyes moved down to Hyde, who was trying to hop into her car before being noticed. "Whose kid is that?" He paused as a thought entered his mind. "Donna, if that's your kid, I'm going to kill somebody."

Donna groaned and rolled her eyes at his stupidity. "Yes, Dad, it's my secret kid that I've been hiding for five years. Glad I finally got that off my chest." She tossed strands of hair behind her ear and opened her driver's side door. "I'm babysitting, Dad. You know, that little thing I do to make money some weekends?" She threw a glance at her dad for his complete dumb ass mind frame.

"Oh…right." A bright smile appeared on his face. "Well, don't spend too much money while you're out."

"Fine, Dad."

She slammed her door shut behind her and looked at Hyde in her mirror. "Can you believe how dumb he is? I would have had to had a kid at eleven for it to be your age."

Hyde shrugged, and since Donna couldn't see much more than the top of his head, replied, "hey, we all think Laurie's probably had her own kid by now."

Donna laughed and put her keys into the ignition. "Okay, so pudding and jell-o for you, right?"

Hyde tilted his head, thinking of Kelso. "And a couple packs for Tater Nuts, too."

**A/N: Yay! An update! So, I have the next two chapters in mind because a) this chapter wasn't even supposed to happen, it was supposed to be what happens at the grocery store, and b) Nannygirl gave me a rather fun idea to try involving Brad and the other little coloring kiddies. Which brings up something I've mentioned before; don't be shy to put out any sort of idea or suggestion you'd like to see. Most likely I will write it. Thanks for reading and please review!**


	39. Aisle Stupidity

"Careful," Donna said as Hyde jumped out of her car and onto the parking lot pavement.

He looked at her expression. "If you make me hold your hand, I'll run in front of a car." He smirked as Donna's hand shot down.

"Fine. Get run over, have it your way."

"Cool." Something like a smile plays on his lips as he approached the door to the grocery store unscathed, hands free.

Donna grabbed a shopping cart and deposited her purse into the child's seat on the front before making her way over to the section with the most junk food. Hyde grabbed a pack of pudding in his and Eric's favorite flavor, then knelt towards the floor to reach the bottom shelf containing Kelso's flavor.

"Mind if I get an expired pack?" The five year old asked innocently.

"what for?" Donna put one hand on her hip, the other still on the cart's handle.

Hyde smirked. "For Kelso."

"Hyde!" Donna giggled. Hyde almost threw her a laugh back, but he noticed something.

"Hey, man, I just realized that there are people here."

Donna's eyebrows climbed up her face in wonder. "Oh, yeah? What tipped you off?" She held back joking about him being high.

"Just…" He scraped his hand against the lid of the pudding cups. "You probably shouldn't say my name here, man. You know, for security."

"Right, security." Donna realized, however, that the only time Hyde had been in a public place close enough to home to run into someone he knew was when they dragged him to the Hub, and he only agreed to that to avoid Kitty. "If I can't call you Hyde, then I'm calling you Steve," she teased.

Nobody besides those kids from the hell hole ever called him Steve. "Whatever." As long as it wasn't Stevie.

Hyde dropped the four packages of pudding cups into the cart, which was very possibly taller than him. "Kelso's planning something, man. We should have a camera ready."

"Oh, God, he's going to make himself look like an idiot, isn't he?"

"He doesn't just look like an idiot, Pinciotti," Hyde corrected, "he _is _a major dumb ass."

Donna pushed the cart past a row of frozen poultry. "What's he doing?"

Hyde tipped his head, considering what he had said before Kelso ran out. "I dunno. Not knocking a tooth out."

Donna, though she had no idea what that had to do with Kelso, laughed. "Well, you didn't _knock_ yours out."

"Apple, knocked out, it's all the same, man." It still got yanked bloodily out of his mouth, so what was the difference? Oh yeah. Having a tooth knocked out was amusing and could get sympathy from girls (or snide laughter) and, if lost in a comical enough way, could make for an alright story. Losing a tooth to an apple, a _baby _tooth nonetheless, was just stupid.

Donna told Hyde to grab her some junk from the candy aisle, so he grabbed random bags of candy, briefly thinking to grab some Fez didn't like. That way he wouldn't take it. Then he remembered the Fez liked all candy, every single type known to man as far as Hyde knew.

"Can we get root beer and popsicles?"

Donna rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Why, are you watching that sci-fi movie again _Steve_?"

Oh yeah, that movie. The one he had devoured multiple cookies and down a whole pack of root beers while watching. "If it's on, I-" He was going to make some joke about it, but then he remembered. He watched the movie alone in the basement after getting mad at Forman for lying to the school.

"School figure out that Foreplay's hopped up on cold meds thing was bullshit yet?"

"I guess they did when you, uh," Donna cleared her throat. "Dropped out."

Hyde nodded. "Your wimp of a boyfriend sucks at lying."

Donna spread one arm out, the other still steadily pushing the metal cart. "Hey, at least I'll know if he lies to me!" Hyde scoffed at her, but it was true.

They strolled down the freezer aisle, a chill seeping from the contents inside. Cheap frozen foods mainly consisting of waffles and pizza lines the freezers. At the other end of the aisle, dressed in jeans and black long sleeve shirt was a familiar face. He was opening one of the freezers to pull out a box of pancakes.

"Hey, it's Mr. Miranda," Donna said. Hyde's eyes followed hers, and he saw his vaguely familiar ex chemistry (or, as he now called it thanks to the Kettle Head, "ch-eh-mystery") teacher. He looked at Donna, hoping she wouldn't go over and say hi.

"He said it sucked that you dropped, you know," Donna informed the kid. "You were one of his favorites."

Hyde shrugged, as if that wasn't something unusual. Few teachers considered him a favorite since he started school, but after all, Mr. Miranda was a levitation-legend, cool, hippie-ish guy. He always liked the cooler kids, which Hyde undoubtedly had been.

"Hey, Mr. Mir-"

"Donna…" Hyde said warningly.

Donna frown. "You can stay here, you know."

"Don-" It was too late, she'd ditched him.

* * *

><p>"I get it, he thinks I shouldn't have dropped out. Whatever." Like Hyde had a choice in the matter. "And Kelso, nice face man."<p>

Kelso smiled to the duo walking through the door, revealing a blacked out tooth. "Alright, Hyde, I did what you said. Do I get pudding now?"

"Yup." Hyde tossed him a pudding cup from the grocery bag in hand and the older boy kneeled down to pick it up from the floor. "Good boy," Hyde joked, opening the drawer to toss him a spoon.

Donna laughed hysterically as she wrapped her arms around Forman. "Wh-what did you do?"

"Paint?" Fez offered.

"Of course not," Kelso smiled, "I'm not an idiot. It's makeup." He rubbed his tooth. "Tastes bad."

"Well," Forman said, "at least you have pudding to wash down the taste."

Kelso nodded. "Yeah. As long as there are pudding cups, it's a good day."

**A/N: OK, I have no idea what just happened. Consider that a filler chapter, I just felt like updating, and this turned out uneventful. Donna's talk with their teacher will be addressed next time (which will be the 40****th**** chapter, yay!) and so next chapter will be mainly Forman and Hyde in celebration of that. And I have almost 100 reviews! So very exciting. And thank you, my two first time reviewers! New reviews make me smile. Hope you children enjoyed reading ****J**


	40. Paranoid

**A/N: Oh my god, you guys. 40****th**** chapter, and I reached the 100 review mark! STUPENDOUS! Because stupendous is better than "yay." (Applying fake tears, so that I may wipe them from my eye for the cameras.) I'd like to thank all the little people! My lovely reviewers, readers, and everyone who put this on alert or favorites! (Sniffle, sniffle).**

**OK, well now that that's out of the way, hi Trillian! Nice to hear from you again! And hi to my 2 most faithful reviewers, nannygirl and cravingsmiles! Oh, and new reviewer monkeygirl98! You gave my 100****th**** review, as I excitedly told you in a PM. So you people all rock, as do everyone whose ever reviewed this, plus my readers. Yes, especially you reading this right now. ESPECIALLY you. OK, I'm getting too excited. Read on!**

"Come on, Kitty, they'll be fine. And if not, probably serves them right," Red warned his wife as he ushered her out the door. He was hoping to make their dinner reservation in time, and his wife's worrying over the dumb asses wasn't helping their timing, nor his mood. He wasn't surprised when she reprimanded him for her comment, but she sighed and followed him to the car nonetheless and soon was chattering on in excitement.

Thing 1 and Thing 2, aka Dumb and Dumber, or Eric and Hyde as anyone but Red referred to them, waved goodbye from the door. "So," Forman said with hands in pockets and he rolled back and forth on the balls of his heels, "what do you feel like doing, man?"

Hyde made some annoyed noise, but shrugged. "Up to you, Foreplay." What ticked him off was Eric's tone, one that sent off trigger bells somewhere in his head. It was that same, stupid, demeaning tone that Laurie occasionally used to bug him, the one Jackie had settled into the time she took him to the mall. The one that said "I'm older and it's my job to entertain you, so I'll pretend you have some say." The damn one that clearly was implied to mean "I'm _babysitting_ you."

Coming from Jackie, or even Kitty, the tone wouldn't bother him as much, but from Forman? No, he'd expect better. Since when did Forman think he had the upper hand? A better question, when did Forman start thinking of him as a _kid_? Before Forman had mocked him, back when he still didn't believe what was going on, or would at least still talk to him like he had the brain of a sixteen year old. Since when did he seriously talk down to him?

He'd have to figure out a way to put himself back in charge. "You do whatever, man," Hyde told Forman. It struck him for the first time in a while how juvenile his voice was, almost like he had just realized that he looked like an adorable kid, not a miniature sized Steven Hyde.

"I was thinking…" Forman started. Hyde growled and prepared himself for Forman to go into a chick-flick like deep speech. Something that replied to Hyde's damnation of his patronizing tone. "You wanna order pizza? I hear the new place is good."

"Oh." Man, Hyde was _so _clever. "There's a new place?"

Forman looked at him, surprised that Hyde hadn't heard about it yet. Point Place, Wisconsin was an uneventful town, any new addition made waves at least for a few days. "Yeah, yeah. Fez was down there yesterday and he-you didn't hear about it from anyone yet?"

"No," Hyde said, staring at Forman's confused eyebrows. "Because pizza's so awesome. I know, man," he said sarcastically to his brother's expression.

"Hmm." Eric shrugged. Both of them knew what he was thinking; _you don't get out much_, which was blatantly obvious. Weird how nobody in Point Place seemed to notice Hyde's disappearance. "I'll, uh, go order then."

"That's cool."

Yeah, Hyde was laid back kind of guy with all his Zen and ambiguous replies, but he wasn't a pansy. What the hell was Forman thinking? _Lay off it, man_, Hyde told himself. He was making mountains out of mole hills, as if he actually cared. Which he didn't.

No, didn't care at all. So what if his best friend had reduced him to a simple five year old?

What was he doing? Kitty and Red were gone. He and Forman had the entire house to goof off and mess stuff up in. They could screw with Laurie's room (as if enough screwing didn't already go on in there) and rearrange or steal her stuff to piss her off…or chill and smo-_ok_, so they couldn't smoke. Damn, how did he used the pass time? All he could think about now was circles, trying to get beer, and watching TV. And occasionally they'd pull pranks and stuff, streak maybe, and burn each other a lot.

What was there to do now?

"Pizza will be here in fifteen," Forman announced from the kitchen. Hyde could hear the click of the phone being put back on the wall.

"Cool."

Forman nodded and turned on the TV, plopping onto the sofa in a swift motion. "Wanna watch Charlie's Angels?"

"Sure, Forman."

Hyde watched a stupid grin slither its way onto Forman's face as he watched the group of hot girls on TV. At least Forman wasn't belittling him enough to count him out of enjoying sexy TV girls.

Forman said "hmm" again.

"What?" Hyde asked, annoyance threatening to seep into his voice.

"Already seen this one." Hyde glared at him. Since when did Forman watch for plot? Usually, it was for boobs. Especially when Kelso was in charge of the remote.

"So?"

"So…want to watch something else?"

"Like what?" Forman merely shrugged once more. "Just leave it, Forman."

Was Hyde paranoid, or had Forman completely changed his thinking on him like overnight?

* * *

><p>Hyde set down his plate and climbed into his usual seat. "When did this place open?"<p>

Forman took a bite of hot cheese pizza. "Few days ago."

Hyde nodded. Out of nowhere, he thought about how Forman was usually at school. And he was usually here or at the hell hole. And then of course Forman went to places like this new pizza joint, and Hyde would still be here. Or at the hell hole. He needed to get out more. "Miss anything else?" He asked, half sarcastic, half genuine, desperate for the outside world. Almost jealous of Forman. OK, hell, he was jealous of anyone who didn't get magically anti-aged, which meant he was jealous of everyone in the world. Jealousy was a strange new thing for him.

"Not much. School. Tests, papers, detention."

Hyde chewed off the end of a bread stick. "Yeah. Donna saw Miranda when we bought pudding."

Forman smiled and raised the pudding cup he had set down next to his glass in cheers, smiling. Kelso still hadn't gotten the blackness off his tooth, but at least he was rewarded for looking like an idiot. "You guys say hi to him?"

Hyde tilted his head. "Only Donna did. In case you forgot, Zitty Stardust, Miranda thinks I just dropped out."

Eric nodded, not telling Hyde that Miranda had talked to him about Hyde dropping out a week or two after the final call was made.

Hyde went back to his pizza, not telling _Forman_ that Donna and Mr. Miranda had talked about the same thing while Hyde idly searched stock shelves. According to Miranda, it was a shame that Hyde dropped out. He could hear him now.

First it was just small talk between Donna and Miranda. Then Donna stupidly said something vague about Hyde, and, boom, Miranda went into an overly sappy (in Hyde's opinion) speech. "He's a cool kid. It's a shame. Man, I really didn't think he'd drop, you know? Thought he'd stick it out and go on to big stuff. He still has a lot of potential. I always liked Hyde. Tell him I say hi, will you? Nice to see you too Donna." And like that, they went back to talking about school. But it was enough to stick with Hyde.

There was an awkward silence between the two boys, so Hyde got up to refill his soda. As he padded across the tile in socked feet, he reached up for the plastic bottle, and somehow in the process ended up slipping and hitting his chin hard onto the ground. Nonplussed, he realized that this had knocked out his other front tooth. Awesome.

"You OK?" Eric asked, handing him a napkin.

Hyde accepted it, dabbing his face and new gap in his smile. "Yeah." He groaned and dabbed at his chin, wondering why he was letting everything get to him today. Forman wasn't even being a jerk, yet as he asked if Hyde was alright for sure, Hyde couldn't help but find himself asking "man, how old do you think I am?"

**A/N: Extra lengthy, angst goodness! Had not planned on annoying poor little Hyde this much, and yes, he'd probably punch me for calling him "poor little Hyde." Thank you reviewers for suggesting events, I will use them soon, promise. And I already have my ending/potion resolution planned, FYI. I've had it since the beginning. Anyways, thank you all and please review!**


	41. Forman the Jerk

**A/N: Oh, you guys. You silly reviewers, all commenting on the tooth. I see where your interests lie. Lol, I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. That you like it when I maim his teeth? Anyways, here you go, you crazy kids. **

Hyde's eyes didn't even waiver, despite his utter surprise at what he just asked Forman. He didn't take his question back. Neither of the two boys did anything for a few moments.

"How old?" Forman repeated dumbly. It was like they were both stunned into silence, like there was no answer to the question.

Forman sat down on the floor, stretching one leg out and resting his arms over his other knee. "Um…"

"Get bent!" Hyde, placating Forman's stupid tone and the stupid way he sat, like he had to get eye level with the curly haired kid or something, huffed. He threw his tooth into the trashcan, standing up.

"Hyde, what are you talking about, man?" Forman looked confused, but collected. He should have been flustered. That's how their relationship worked. If Hyde said something mean, Forman got flustered.

Hyde was Zen, but he could be explosive if he wanted. Or when he was five and his brain dictate him to be. "You've been treating me like I'm five all night, man!"

"What?" Forman laughed.

This conversation was going nowhere. "Whatever," Hyde said softly. The lasting traces of blood in his mouth tasted like metal as he spoke.

He wanted to go in the basement, but he didn't want to ditch Forman like this either. The air around them felt thick and heavy, choking.

After a long pause, a few choice words were spoken, Forman's disgustingly about to dive into sappy chick flick zone. Still, both were resolved to, well, resolve the conversation. Hyde wanted to shut him up, but clear the air at the same time, and so it ended with Forman calling Hyde a kid, and Hyde calling him a tool. If Forman were to flick him off right then and there, Hyde probably would have smiled.

They could hear the front door open and close followed by the sounds of heels before Forman had found an appropriate response. He hadn't been called "tool" in a while.

"Hello, brats."

"Hey," Forman replied. Hyde simultaneously greeted "get lots of tail tonight, Lore?"

Laurie rolled her eyes, something that seemed to happen every time she talked to the orphan. "Oh ha ha, I'm a slut. Get any new ones?"

Hyde sighed. "You're mouth is so big you could suck an egg from a chicken?" He said impatiently, waiting for her to leave. On the other hand, Laure still treated him like she always had, not that he was in the mood for banter at the moment.

"Ooh, big talk for such a little guy."

"Hey, man, I'm not going to get in a battle of wits with you. I don't like to take advantage of the handicapped."

Laurie scoffed and remarked back snidely before asking "and Eric, what are you doing on the floor?"

"I was just-"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I make it sound like I actually care? See, now that's my bad." Laurie trotted back to the living room, ready to go up to her bedroom. "Oh, and nice face orphan."

Hyde stuck his tongue out at her as she bounced up the steps. It prodded its way through the now widened gap where his upper front teeth used to be.

* * *

><p>Forman heard his mom laughing before he saw her. "Hahaha! Oh, oh, hi, honey. What are you still doing up? Sweetie, it's two in the morning!"<p>

"Oh, uh, just thinking about stuff. Can't sleep," he mumbled, ruffling his hand through his hair.

"What happened?" Kitty sounded concerned, and unsurprised. Red groaned in response, assuring that their son was fine, and if he was not, it was his own fault in the first place. Kitty swatted Red's arm away gently. "We don't know that! Eric-"

"Mom, it's cool. Dad's right," Eric finished.

Kitty looked between the two of them. "Well, all right then. Try to get some sleep." Red half heartedly patted Eric on the shoulder before following Kitty up to bed.

Eric closed his eyes, feeling the affects of staring at the television too long. Hyde was full of bullshit, man. He'd never treated him like a kid. Hyde was, emphasis on _was_, the coolest, most mature one of the group. Usually. And sure, Kelso was too stupid to notice if Hyde acted like a kid, but what about the rest of the gang?

Jackie wasn't around much (thank God), so she didn't care either way. She'd still talk down to Hyde if he was like…twenty seven. So her opinion didn't matter.

Fez barely seemed to notice beyond occasionally teasing Hyde. Not much of a problem there.

Donna? Yeah, Donna totally treated Hyde like a kid now! She treated him like a kid way more than Forman did! Didn't she? Well, she had to, because Forman didn't treat him like a kid at all. Did he?

Kelso was indeed a big dumb kid himself, dumb enough to mix laundry detergent with…whatever they had mixed together. OK, so maybe this was partially Forman's fault, but if it was, Hyde was equally to blame! Oh, man, now _he _sounded like the kid, blaming his best friend for being tortured.

Really, though, even if Forman thought he was innocent on _treating _Hyde like a kid, he didn't _think _Hyde _was_ a kid.

Um, except that he did. He had realized it a few weeks ago, and thought he had shoved the idea behind. Something changed the night Hyde overdosed, though. Forman saw him differently.

"I am a tool," Forman mumbled to himself, and he didn't want to say it, but he missed the old Hyde. Hyde that was a bit older than him. 16 year old, tall Hyde, who burned him in math class and told off jocks who bullied him, and Hyde who took blame for him at school so that he would be the one who got detention because that's what the teachers expected anyways.

Was that a bad thing to admit?

**A/N: again, more angst. Next chapter shall have the entire gang and Forman and Hyde fighting. It'll patch up eventually though. So thank you, guys and gals, for reading. Please review and check back for next chapter soon ****:)**

**UPDATE: Sorry guys! Posted the chapter from my other story, OtE, on here at first, but I fixed it!  
><strong>


	42. Eavesdropping

**A/N: Hey, friends, remember when I asked for suggestions and you gave them to me and I promised I'd use them? Well yes, I remember too! I'll use them eventually, after I resolve this conflict. Which will be…I don't know when. And I think I have loads of cute new ideas, so this may not be ending as soon as I thought. Yay, good news! My love for writing this story has recently been renewed, so that's good for you. **

The group of high school kids sat around Eric Forman's basement, squabbling.

"Michael, let somebody else have the remote!" Jackie was, as usual, taking the lead in the conversation and earning Red's nickname for her, "the loud one."

Michael pouted at Jackie and whined, "why? I've been changing channels since I was, like, four!"

Fez joined in the couple's conversation from his place in the basement. "Yes, but whenever you are in charge, you just put on cartoons or topless girls…Jackie, maybe you should let Kelso do it."

"Fez, in case you haven't noticed, there are two girls here! I'm sure _Eric_ doesn't want to watch that sort of thing with his own girlfriend here!" Her comment was directed more at Kelso than anyone else.

Eric sighed and snatched the remote to stop the bickering. It was his house after all, so he grabbed it and changed one channel higher.

It was Charlie's Angles.

He looked blankly at the screen. Hyde had figured out that he was practically censoring what they watched last night, hadn't he? It was hard to tell what Hyde thought sometimes. Forman flipped channels again.

Scooby Doo. Much better.

"Him!" Fez was soon pointing out to the television screen, which was rudely ignoring him. "It is always the old man!"

Kelso shook his head, floppy hair swaying. "No way, man, it's totally the hot chick in the skirt." Jackie looked a bit peeved.

"Oh my God," Donna chuckled, "you two still can't figure out Scooby Doo?"

Fez first looked offended, then mischievous. "Kelso, my friend, how about a little bet?" Kelso asked what he had in mind. "Five dollars to who ever guesses the correct villain."

"Deal! Oh, hey Hyde."

The rest of the gang, save for Forman, turned to look at the pint sized kid as he shuffled in from his room, tired looking.

"Hey. Watchin' Scooby?" Kelso nodded. "You guys place bets yet?"

"Yes," Fez interjected, "and this time I shall not lose!" He glanced doggedly at the tallest of the group.

Jackie groaned, irritated. "Ugh, you two are so immature! Please, it's like you're kindergarteners or something." Hyde wondered if she had meant to burn Hyde or something with that line. He was just waiting for her to continue by saying "like Hyde!" She didn't, though.

"Hyde-" Donna started, trying to get Hyde to reply so she could see if her eyes had just played tricks on her.

"What?" She watched his mouth as he briefly answered.

"Did you lose another tooth?"

He prodded his cheek with his tongue. "Yeah," he said, trying to play it off like he barely took notice.

"Awe!" She cooed, nearly provoking a "fuck you" from Hyde.

"You're lucky I like you, Pinciotti, or I'd tell you to get bent." Just as Hyde wondered if Jackie tried to single him out earlier, Forman was now wondering if Hyde had some subtext in there meant for him. Did that mean he didn't like Forman? Well, of course he didn't, at least not now. He called him a tool last night. It was probably safe to say that they weren't on good terms.

Jackie stood up. "I'm getting a drink, and you better not put on something stupid, _Michael_."

"_Michael_," Kelso mocked. Jackie glared at him. "What?"

"I'll get it," Hyde offered to Jackie, mainly to get away from Forman. "Kitty wanted me for something anyway." Kitty was on the phone, so he left her alone. He jogged into the kitchen and started to fill a cup with water, but he stopped at the top of the stairs, eavesdropping.

"Well no duh he called you a tool!"

"C'mon, somebody here has got to agree with me."

"Well…"

"See? So it's not just me!"

"Well, I think he's different. Though personally, I don't like him much either way."

"Jackie!"

"Hey, don't give me that look!"

"I do sort of miss the old Hyde."

"Hehe. Old Hyde. Get it? Cause Hyde-"

"Yeah, we get it Kelso."

Hyde stood up and backed away from the stairs. He pulled a chair back over and crawled onto the counter, dumping all the water that he had just filled. He got back down, grabbed something from the fridge, and started refilling the cup.

"Here you go, princess."

"Midget!" You could almost hear the joy in Jackie's voice at being able to turn a phrase she usually received on someone else. She brought the cup up to her lipstick-smothered mouth. "Ugh, what is this, some sports drink that only guys buy?" She crinkled her nose as if he had just served her a cup full of sweat.

Hyde shrugged and told her that he wasn't going to get her another drink, so she'd have to suck it up. Jackie sneered at him, but for once obliged.

A few minutes later, Kitty rushed into the basement, a huge smile attacking her face. "Kids! Kids, Red just called-" She paused for dramatic effect. "He got a job!"

This managed to make even Hyde elated.

**A/N: How could I go this long without remembering that I had Red get fired? Hmm. Well, well, I have big plans in store! And lol, no, Jackie isn't being drugged. I'm not going to give away spoilers, but I have approximately 3 storylines coming up, but I'll still take suggestions for the future. I may have to modify them, though. And I want Brad to reappear. Maybe only because my BFF took me to see Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood (and therefore fulfilled one of my biggest dreams in life), but I'm in the mood to include some Brad. Even if he is totally different from Brad Sherwood…OK, I'm rambling. Reviews, please! Requests are fine too.**


	43. Good News For One

**A/N: Man, as I originally planned it, this would be the last chapter before the two part finale! Number wise, not content wise. But that is no longer the plan! I now have no clue how many more chapters I want. But there will be a good amount! You guys pleased? I would hope so. And yes, looking back on season two episode, events in here don't match up. But screw order, this is my story! Mwahahahahahaha! Hahaha…hahaha. Ehem…yeah.**

**Enjoy.**

That night, Red declared he would take the whole family out to dinner.

"Alright!" Kelso cheered, earning himself a "no, not you dumb asses! Kitty, this is what happens when you treat other people's kids like your own! They start to hang around too much." Yet, Red was still in a great mood, castigating with a smile on his face.

"Oh my god, Mr. Forman, I am so happy for you, you've been trying to get a job for so long and now you have one and that's so good and congratulations!" Jackie rambled in one long run on sentence.

Red declared to Kitty, "that kid's on dope."

Kitty, ever the mother, worked her way to Jackie's side, asking if she was alright. Hyde watched on in amusement. He looked at Jackie's empty cup (which had been through several refills).

"Oh, I know that look," Fez smirked.

"Oh yeah?" Hyde smirked back.

"So, what did you do to Jackie?"

"High caffeine sports drink."

"Ah, simple but elegant. Well done, my friend, a-burn!" Hyde nodded in acknowledgement of this praise.

Kelso was now leading Jackie out the backdoor, his arm over her shoulder and mild confusion on his face. Red waited until the rest of the morons were gone before asking, "okay, so where to?"

* * *

><p>"Do I actually have to go?" Laurie whined as they walked into the nice, though not extremely expensive restaurant with her parents, moron of a brother, and the orphan.<p>

"Yes, you do," Kitty insisted. Laurie didn't seem to care that her mother had something, but once Red chimed in, she dialed up the "I love you Daddy" attitude and droned on about how happy she was because he was happy. Anything that made her daddy cheerful was cause for celebration!

They were lead over to a velvety booth, the kids on one side with Red and Kitty on the other. Red ordered ribs, and Laurie and Kitty got themselves salads.

"I'll have a burger, please," Forman said, handing his menu back to the distractingly attractive waitress. OK, there was this waitress chick, that girl who worked at the mall a few months ago when Laurie took Hyde, the new secretary at the Hell Hole, when did Wisconsin get all these good looking chicks?

"And what'll it be for you?" She asked Hyde in a voice reading "omg widdle kids are sooo cute!" Hmm. Hyde wasn't sure if this qualified as good, or something to knock her off the Point Place Hot Working Chicks list for. Apparently Hyde took a second to long considering this, because she was now pointing to the kid's meal part of the menu. Hyde didn't know why Kelso always whined about wishing there was no age limit on kid's menus. The food sucked. Cheap macaroni, peanut butter and jelly, microscopic pizzas, and chicken tenders dominated most, almost always accompanied by a glass of milk. Hyde barely went out, so this relayed information was thanks to previous dining adventures involving Tater Nuts.

"And our mac'n'cheese is really good…" She drabbled on. Hyde mumbled something to be left up to her interpretation. She took it as a "yes" to the gross cheese dribble covered noodles.

"Well," Laurie said, "since we're all here now, can you tell us about your new job, Daddy?" Where did Laurie learn to act so innocently? It was hard to imagine her as anything but the Laurie she was now.

"You're looking at Pricemart's new manager!" Everyone added in their two cents on his new place of work. It was a good paying, nine to five job. Not the coolest job in the world, but it would work.

"Didn't you apply there, Forman?" Hyde asked.

"Yeah, yeah I did. Hey, Dad, can you imagine us working together?" Eric smiled for a minute before he thought about what it would actually be like. "Oh-oh, God, that would suck!" Red smiled evilly.

A passing waiter winked at Laurie. Laurie twirled her hair, luring him in. He started to come over until he took notice of her parents, and then veered in the opposite direction.

"What the hell was that?" Red bellowed.

"Oh, I think I know!" Eric said.

"Eric-" Red said warningly before exclaiming how he ought to have shoved his foot up that waiter's ass.

"Oh, Daddy," Laurie sighed, "don't let him ruin your night."

"She's right, Red. Lets-lets just enjoy this dinner, alright?"

Red squirmed and adjusted his silverware. "Yeah, alright." Kitty smiled again. Red excused himself to the bathroom, though possibly he wanted to check out Laurie's waiter friend. Laurie got up and inched away (notably in the general direction of the bar).

"Oh, no," Kitty interrupted. "This is a family dinner and you are staying right here." Laurie rolled her eyes and thought about different snide things to say to her mother.

Since she couldn't ditch her family, Laurie turned her attention to Hyde. "Nine to five. Guess it's back to-oh, what do you call it? The Hell Hole."

Hyde grimaced. Damn, the Hell Hole. He couldn't go back to that place, man. Damn little kids, robotic wardens…and one hot secretary. But it still was Hell. He wondered what Forman thought.

Soon, both Red and their waitress returned, food in hand. Hyde stabbed the macaroni with his fork before making himself eat it. To his surprise, it didn't completely suck. Go figure.

* * *

><p>As far as Forman family outings went, dinner wasn't half bad. Red was happy for once, and Kitty was in a good mood too. Laurie was…Laurie. Like Jekyll and Hyde, depending on whether or not her dad was around. Forman and Hyde were both quiet.<p>

But that was yesterday, and today Hyde was here. At the doors of the Hell Hole. He glanced longingly at the secretary holding the doors to freedom open before they slammed closed. He walked into the Pepto-Bismol pink room(seriously, why the hell _pink_?) and slid in unnoticed.

Except by Brad Kelso. "Steve, I thought you died again!" Déjà vu.

"I did, man," Hyde answered, bored already. "I'm a ghost."

Brad looked around as if to make sure no one else heard this. "Really?"

"Yup."

"How did you die?"

Well, it looked like it was time to sharpen up the old lying tools.

**A/N: Huh. Well, the Brad thing will be continued next chapter. Probably not the whole chapter. After that, something will happen that you will most certainly like, given previous response. And I have plenty of good ideas in store. Oh! Oh! Next chapter I shall use the suggestions I got so far! Yay! So, any more requests for little Hyde or the rest of the gang? Either way, please review! **


	44. On Your Own

**A/N: Hi! Not much of an author's not today until the end…so read and please review! And OMG next chapter makes 45! Yay milestones! I got a bruise on my arm from swing dancing today. Well, swing dancing incorrectly. But it was fun! Omg, I also was swept into a "halfway around the world" without warning and I freaked out. So that was my day.  
><strong>

**Thanks for the review, nannygirl. Where have all the others gone? I miss you (read as; review this one)  
><strong>

"Hey!" Forman slid onto the desk top, twiddling his thumbs. "So, I was wondering…"

"Yeah?" Mr. Miranda glanced at him over the files he was putting in his bottom desk drawer.

"Uh, K-Kelso was talking about this thing from a cartoon or something, really stupid, and we made a bet about it, and I was sort of wondering if you could help me out," Forman said, completely improvising an excuse to ask the question that somehow got implanted into his head this morning at breakfast.

Teachers probably weren't supposed to condone gambling, but hell, Miranda didn't care. "Yeah, sure, man. If it's scientific. What's the question?"

"O-okay, so it's like this; Kelso says that on this cartoon or whatever, some guy got shrunk, like turned back into a kid."

"Science fiction? I thought that was your thing, Eric."

Eric laughed awkwardly. "Haha, yeah, but anyways, the guy ends up getting stuck as a kid because he can't find a way back, and the whole future gets changed and messed up because he was a kid and couldn't-like-save the planet or whatever. You know what, maybe it was a movie. Oh well, doesn't matter. Okay, so my point is, me and Kelso got into this whole argument about it, and we were wondering-is there theoretically a way to change the guy back to normal?" He paused, taking in Miranda's face. "Cause, you know, Kelso won't shut up about some dumb magic spell something."

Mr. Miranda crossed his arms and laughed good naturedly. His eyes wondered to the window and he started chewing on his bottom lip in concentration. He scoffed again. "So, to get your cash, you have to give Kelso a better answer or disprove it?"

"Yeah. A better answer."

"Oh, man. Dumb bet. How much are you going to loose?"

"None, I hope! I need all I can get so I can take Donna places." It was weird that he felt comfortable saying that to a teacher, but he did. "I'm looking for a job, but my dad just got made manager of the last place I applied-whatever. So it's fifteen dollars, because I figured I'd be able to make something up that'd Kelso would be dumb enough to buy…"

"But you're no good at improvising."

"I-" Eric stuttered, "okay, yeah, I suck. So, can you help me?"

"Sure, man. Just give me a minute." Miranda sipped his coffee in thought.

* * *

><p>"How did you die?" Brad gasped. "When-when did you become a ghost?"<p>

Hyde was already bored of this. Then again, anything would be painfully boring here. "I…" A thought smacked him. "I was in a car crash. And now I'm a ghost, man." Forman may suck at making shit up on the spot, but it didn't mean Hyde couldn't steal ideas from him.

"Whoa!" Damn, Brad was too gullible for his own good. For his own sake, he'd better outgrow that one day. And if not, he'd end up like Kelso and get ragged on and pranked by his friends. Lucky friends.

"You don't _look_ like a ghost."

Hyde slumped hopelessly into the yellow beanbag chair in the corner, Brad on his heels. The lanky six year old took a seat of the floor, eager to hear about the supernatural.

"Alright, man." Hmm. Could he mess with Kelso in the process of this? "So, you know ghosts are psychic, right, kid?"

"I'm older that you!"

Hyde snarled. "Yeah, but I'm a ghost, that trumps age. So, psychic. You got that?"

"Yep. But you gotta prove it first. Or else, how can I know you're really a psychic?"

Hyde leaned back. "Good question, young grasshopper. Huh…" He tilted his head up to the left. "Well, how else would I know about your brother Michael? Like that one time he-"

* * *

><p>"Okay, Eric. Let me set this straight." Miranda paused to take another sip of coffee and to take a seat on top of his desk. "That whole…backwards, age rewind junk is impossible. For so many reasons; what it would take to catalyze the actions, the implications on the sufferer, it would probably be lethal if it were possible in that context." Forman couldn't help it, his face felt all hot. Sufferer? Lethal? Well it sure as hell wasn't as impossible as it sounded. "Probably would require magic, to Michael's credit. Though of course that's not real, so it's all a no go."<p>

"I'm going to lose this bet."

"Not yet. Give me a second. Ah, crap. Tough question. Well, it's the same process in reverse, isn't it? So I still say it's impossible. Sorry, man."

Forman frowned. "Thanks anyways. I'll just tell Kelso that you'd have to mix random chemicals or something-"

"Not a good idea when it comes to Michael. He might get ideas."

Forman snickered "yeah, he might."

"Best you can do in cartoon logic is junk redo or do the opposite of what he did to get reversed"

* * *

><p>"Casey and Michael really did that?" Brad looked at him in awe.<p>

"Yup. Ask them, they'll tell ya."

"Thanks, I will!" Brad said enthusiastically. Hyde smirked, accomplished.

"Steve, Miss Caroline wants you!" A certain little redheaded girl announced, bounding over to greet the duo. Brad looked at her, then to Hyde, betrayal shining through his expression. "She can see you? So you're not really a ghost?"

Lizzie looked at Hyde. A ghost? What was that about? Silly Brad, always falling for tricks.

"Then…then how'd you know about my brothers?"

Crap. Well, looked like he'd get to lie some more. "Steven, come here, please!" Warden Caroline sang.

Damn it! Couldn't these people leave him alone?

**A/N: Grr. Lame last line. See? I fulfilled a request! Sort of. And the next will be requested next time. Sort of. I do have to put my own twist on everything. So, anymore suggestions? I've got a good chapter coming up. *Insert devious smile here* **


	45. Disturbed

**A/N: I'M ALIVE! My hiatus is finally over. So now I can update regularly (if I'm super efficient, maybe it could even be like when I originally posted this and updated every other day, but I have 2 stories that I have to update regularly now, so no promises). Oh, and Rabbit, thank you so much for your review! I hadn't gotten a review in a long time because of the dumb hiatus, so a review alone is nice, but yours was especially awesome. I'm quite happy I exceeded expectations. Thanks and the next chapter…is right now ****:)**

Hyde sauntered up to the Warden. "Yeah?"

She motioned for him to take a seatt, her head held high and nose upturned. He couldn't help but feel she was pretending this was a criminal interrogation. "Steven," she started, tilting her head in mock thought, "did you tell Brad you were a ghost?"

"No," he said, just to see who she would believe.

"Steven…" she coaxed knowingly. Hmm. He should have seen that one coming. Teachers always took the pansy kid's side.

He shrugged. "Okay. I did."

Warden Caroline shook her head and sighed as if this were a great disappointment. Maybe she was a wannabe actress instead of wannabe cop. "Why did you lie to Brad?"

"It's called make believe," he said sarcastically with something between a fake smile and a smirk. He could picture his friends chortling at that answer.

Caroline nodded. "Alright, well make believe is nice." _Then why am I here? _Hyde thought. "But Sweetie…Brad said you told him some other stuff." Well, over the course of several months, Hyde had slipped up and introduced Brad to drugs, whores, arrest, sex, and of course rock and roll.

The Warden awkwardly told him that she was referring to his "death;" death by car crash. What sucked was that out of all the times he had said shit to Brad, _Forman's _lie was the one that made her concerned.

"Care to explain?"

* * *

><p>"Thanks for trying," Forman said to Mr. Miranda before closing the door. So apparently a high school chemistry teacher did not know how to reverse illogical magic. Bummer.<p>

He deposited his books in his locker and headed out to the parking lot, where Donna was sitting on the hood of his car. "What took you so long?"

He answered "just talking to Miranda."

"Oh." she hopped down onto the pavement. "Well, are you ready to go?"

He nodded slowly. "Yup." Then they drove home, Eric full of defeat.

* * *

><p>Being a liar got tiresome on occasion. Which path to take was a difficult decision. Lie, truth, extreme lie, white lie, so many shades of gray. He saw it on TV, his brother told him that, he actually was a ghost, he just made it up…what to say?<p>

His natural response was a sarcastic "I am dead," but he held back and instead continued down Make Believe Avenue and told her he just made it up. By the way her eyebrows furrowed, he deciphered that this was not the answer she wanted.

"You just pulled it out of nowhere? Just like that?"

"Yup."

"Alright…I'm going to talk to Miss Eve for a minute then I'll be right back, okay?"

"Whatever." What was she going to do? Kick him out? That would be cool…Red would be annoyed. What did Brad say to them, anyway? A better question, since when was Brad a tattletale? Ah, the kid wasn't too smart. He probably let it slip in passing. Or confusion. "Hey, Brad!" Hyde bellowed.

Brad started to walk over until Warden Eve put a hand on him and told him to go play with his friends, a sugary smile glued to her fat cheeks. Hyde wondered what would happen if he just stood up and ignored their orders.

C'mon, why were they taking so long? He was probably just going to end up in the corner.

* * *

><p>Kitty was the first one to hear the phone ring. She waited, not surprised that there was no mad dash from any of the boys in the house to pick it up. She set her groceries down and wearily grabbed the telephone. An unfamiliar voice started, "Hello, this is Sara from the Point Place community center. Our teachers were wondering if you could come in a bit early to talk."<p>

She almost told this Sara person that she had the wrong number before registering that that was were little Steven was.

Wait a minute…if that was were Steven was, why were they calling her? "Oh, yes, I'll just be on my way to stop there in a few minutes."

"Thank you, goodbye."

"Alright, bye." Her motherly instincts perked up.

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, Kelso slammed the door and glumly projected himself onto the sofa. Jackie rubbed his arm soothingly. "What's wrong, baby?"<p>

Kelso flailed his arms. "My stupid little brother Brad told my parents about all the stupid stuff I did, and now I'm grounded. It's so…"

"Stupid?" Eric offered with a grin.

Kelso nodded. "Yeah!"

Fez asked. "Kelso, if you are grounded, then why are you here?"

Kelso looked around at all of his friends. "Well…because…I want to." Kelso had a way with words. "My parents weren't home, it's not like I'll get caught. I mean, unless one of my brothers or sisters rats on me again, but I'm already grounded so I figure I have nothing to lose!"

"Wait a second," Donna, ever the logical one, started, "you left them home alone? With Casey?"

Kelso rolled his eyes. "Donna, I'm not stupid. I wouldn't leave them with Casey. I left them with Beth."

Eric frowned. "Dude, isn't Beth, like, ten?"

"Yeah, so?"

Donna jumped up. "You idiot!"

* * *

><p>"Steven, honey, why on earth did you tell that little boy you were a ghost? And a car crash, of all the morbid things!"<p>

Hyde didn't like disappointing Kitty. He was surprised she even heard about it. Apparently the Hell Hole was now labeling him as "disturbed." Bummer that they didn't do anything else about it. It did give him an idea, though…

And it was all thanks to Forman.

**A/N: Minor cliffhangers! Yeah, this was a filler chapter, but I just wanted to update. Yay! I feel the same way I did once I had finally had my account long enough to post stuff! Oh, happy day. Reviews please?**


	46. Blame Game

**A/N: Hi people. Your reviews continue to amuse and delight me. Keep 'em coming.**

"Oh, Red is not going to be happy." Kitty sighed and finished putting the groceries away. No, indeed, this little development was not exactly good news. It didn't seem like anything would come of it, but nonetheless, this was the sort of thing Red would call Steven a "dumb ass" for.

"Whatever," Hyde said. "No offense, Mrs. Forman, but I don't think it's that bad. Brad's a Kelso."

Kitty's eyes widened as if that explained a lot. "That little boy was a Kelso? How many are there?" she looked at Hyde for a second then waved the thought away. "Well, no matter. Still, sweetie, that's a scary thing to tell a little kid."

"It's his own fault for being gullible. I was being sarcastic, he's the one who went and asked how I died. It's Forman's story anyway."

"_What_?" _Her_ baby boy invented a story like that? Eric wasn't grim! He was not the type to make up horrific things, he couldn't even handle scary movies! When he watched the blob, he wouldn't touch jello for weeks!

"Eric came up with that tree stuff," Hyde confirmed

Kitty shook her head. "Now, why would Eric say that?"

"It's what he told the school. Red didn't tell you?"

Kitty put her hands on her hips, almost speechless and a bit surprised. "Well, no," she said. "He didn't tell me _what _Eric said, just that he told the school something not very smart. Steven, why would you repeat something Eric said? You know sometimes he puts his foot in his mouth." Sometimes? Yeah, more like twice daily.

She sighed once more. "Well, what exactly did Eric say?"

"He said I…" Steven paused to recall Forman's tall tale. "got hopped up on cold medicine and rammed a car into a tree." Hyde shoved a chip into his mouth. "Oh, and that I might die," he remembered.

Kitty's eyes were really bulging now. "Well, I am going to have a talk with _him_!" She declared in parental determination.

"That's cool," Hyde said between chips.

"Oh no, Mister, you are not off the hook, either!"

Fair enough. "Okay," he said. Saying 'whatever' to Kitty didn't seem right in response to her mothering. "Am I free to go for now?"

Kitty closed her eyes a moment. "Alright, go ahead."

"Thanks." He set off downstairs to catch up with his old friends. "Hello?" Well, for once, nobody was in the basement. Where did everybody go?

* * *

><p>"Everybody, drop what you're doing!" Kelso yelled the second he unlocked the door of his house.<p>

"Shh!" His sister Alison hushed him, motioning to the TV, which all of the younger Kelso children sat around.

"See, I told you they wouldn't burn anything!" Kelso told his friends. He let out a relieved sigh. Yep, Michael Kelso was perfectly responsible.

"Great. Glad they're not dead," Donna said. "Have fun babysitting."

"Ah! No, no, no, wait! You guys have to help me!" Kelso was responsible, but not _that_ responsible.

"Why?" Jackie said. "We're not even supposed to be here! Besides, kids are _so_ not my thing." Hyde could completely confirm that. Kids were Jackie's idea of living petri dishes, perfect for growing bacteria and being disgusting.

"Personally, I think you are _fantastic_ with kids," Eric quipped with a straight face.

Any compliment could faze Jackie if she was in a good mood. "Awe!" Like Kelso, she didn't have a perfect track record when it came to recognizing sarcasm. "Really?"

"Yes." Eric still didn't crack a smile.

"Anyways, goodbye, my friend," Fez said, eager to get back to his candy stash at Forman's. "Wait a minute…are they watching cartoons?"

"_Duh_," one of the little Kelso siblings answered.

Fez hesitated. "Do you have candy?"

"We're not dentists, of course we have candy!"

"I am in!" Fez declared, finding his own spot near the television.

"Michael, Mom said you aren't supposed to have friends over." A youngish child insisted.

"Well, I wasn't supposed to go to Forman's house, but I didn't listen to Mom about that, did I, Isaac?"

The boy stared at him. "My name is Isaiah."

"Fine! Whatever, just move over!" Kelso planted himself on the couch, forcing little six years old Brad to be squished.

"Okay." Jackie clapped her hands together. "Michael, Fez, you two have everything under control, so we'll see you later! Okay, bye!" She grabbed Donna's wrist and muttered, "come on, let's go."

"Don't burn the house down," Forman added as they left.

* * *

><p>Hyde unwrapped another one of Fez's candy bars for the third time before the door opened. He was glad to see Eric and Donna return. Jackie, not so much.<p>

"Hey," he greeted them.

"What's up?" Eric grabbed one of Fez's candies, too.

"I'm disturbed. You?" He smirked at the girls' confusion. Yes, in his head, Forman was also one of the girls.

"Uh…good. Are you disturbed because of, like, a new thing, or just stating facts?"

Hyde shrugged. "Whatever."

"What...which answer is that?" Eric asked, his voice overlapped by Kitty calling him from upstairs.

Eric cocked his head. "Huh. Wonder what she wants." He headed upstairs, feeling completely innocent.

**A/N: This isn't as dramatic as it may seem. Red already knows about the tree excuse, but not that Hyde used it. And Kitty is in motherly shock and disappointment. Also, I have not forgotten the idea Eric gave Hyde. That'll come soon enough. However, the real fun lies with Fez and the Kelso's. Mwahaha! Review please.  
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	47. Sonavabitch

**A/N: You people rock. I might use the new image feature to make a cover for this story eventually, though I have no idea what of. Also, I'm still open for suggestions if there's anything you want to see. If not, normal reviews are fantabulous. Wow…spell check acknowledges "fantabulous" as a real word…huh. Scratch that. Only word does, not FF. But you don't care about that, onto the chapter!  
><strong>

**Enjoy!**

Forman hung in the door frame expectantly. "Hey, Mom. So…what can I do you for?"

Kitty looked at him, clearly upset by the way her eyebrows were knit together and her mouth in a pout. What had he done? "Take a seat, Eric." Forman obliged, and Kitty took the seat next to him. She was wringing her hands anxiously, questioning if she should have waited for Red to start this discussion. "Eric, do you think car crashes are funny?"

Eric cracked his knuckles, appearing contrastingly at ease. "Well, some are. I saw one in a movie with Donna a few days ago that was pretty funny," he joked, ever the smart ass.

Kitty gave him the evil eyes. "I'm serious, Eric," she said. Eric amended his answer to one she was happy with, so she continued. "Do you have any clue why I'm asking you this at all?" Eric shook his head. "So, today when I get home from the grocery store, the phone rings, and because no one else ever moves to answer it, I got it." Forman rolled his eyes. He hated when his mom nagged him about things like that. "The secretary from the community center was calling to see if I could come in to talk about Steven."

That peaked his interest, even though he still had no idea what this had to do with him. "Oh, man, does this have to do with being disturbed?"

"Steven told you already?"

"Not really," Forman said, cocking his head to the side.

"Well, I go down there and they say he told some little boy that he was a ghost." Eric scrunched his eyes in confusion. And the big deal was…? "Not a nice ghost like Casper, a scary one like on Halloween. Eric, he told the little boy that he died in a car crash, and Steven said he got that from you. From what Steven told me, your version is even worse!"

"_What_?" Hyde tattled on him? _Again? _Forman was so confused. Red already knew about the school, but his mom didn't? What was with the ghost thing? Well, come to think of it, Hyde and Forman never really made up from the night Hyde called him a tool. "I only told the school that because I panicked. You know I'm not good under pressure!"

Kitty nodded knowingly. "Oh, that is true."

"So, am I in trouble?" He sighed. His parents, well, _Red _was quick to punish him, so he asked even though he thought this was dumb.

His mother sighed also at this slight addition of information. He panicked on the phone, her baby boy wasn't up to anything bad! "I'm going to talk to Red when he gets home." And what were they going to do with Steven? Just like when he overdosed, there wasn't anything they could do. He rarely went anywhere except the Hell Hole which was punishment in and of itself. He could practically get away with anything. Maybe that was fair, considering all the shit he put up with anyway.

With Eric free for another half hour before his dad came home, he rejoined Hyde and the girls downstairs. Donna and Hyde were ignoring Jackie while she yammered on about her last cheerleading practice. He wasn't even worried about getting in trouble. It didn't seem like he was going to.

"Why'd you tell a kid you died?"

The girls frowned in confusion once more. Jackie hated not knowing what was going on.

"The kid was a Kelso."

"Oh…" Somehow messing with a Kelso made perfect sense to everyone.

Jackie said "why did you have to say you died? You can mess with Kelso's other ways."

"Yeah, and you mess with Kelso in every way," Eric added.

Jackie raised a plucked eyebrow. "Oh yeah? At least _Michael gets _to mess around."

"Jackie!" Donna castigated. Jackie rolled her eyes. She knew she had won. Jackie was a winner.

* * *

><p>Michael Kelso was <em>so <em>not as good at babysitting as he thought he would be. His parents shouldn't have left him in charge. The kids already decided that _they_ were in charge. It was hard to yell at them when he couldn't even tell most of them apart. How did they conquer him so fast? He was way smarter than them!

"Hey, you guys-Nicole, don't touch that-well _sorry_-guys…guys…" This was chaos. They were running amok. Fez had been tied up to a chair an hour ago, though Kelso was too amused by that to untie him, even if he did need his help.

"Kelso, you sonavabitch!" Fez bellowed angrily, squirming around as much as he could while bound by ropes. Who would leave ropes around these crazy kids? "If I was not tied to a chair, I would tell you 'good day' and leave!"

Kelso rocked back and forth on his feet, trying to make a decision. "Fine," he declared at last. He walked over to Fez and grabbed the rope. He looked at it for a minute before tugging, because apparently in Kelso's mind pulling could undo a complicated knot. He looked for a bow or the actual knot in the back, and failed once more to undo it once he found it. "Fez, man, I'm gonna have to cut you out."

"It's a knot, you idiot! Just undo it! I don't trust you with a knife."

"Well fine, I won't use a knife!" A started walking towards his backpack. "You know, once I was camping with my cousins and they wanted to cut a rope, so they used a lighter and held it under part of the rope and waved it around."

"Aye, Kelso…"

"No, Fez, it's totally cool, I swear! It took, like, a whole hour, maybe even _forty_ minutes for it to burn through." Kelso had forgotten that that rope was covered in a plastic that made it semi inflammable. This rope was not.

Kelso grabbed a blue lighter out of the front pocket of his backpack. Why he had a lighter when he didn't smoke was anyone's guess. "Alright, hold still, Fez." Kelso held out the lighter with his other hand posed in wait like he was about to do some magic trick. Yet Brad, always ruining everything, grabbed the lighter out of Kelso's hand. "Ah!" Kelso squealed.

No, Fez was not enjoying this.

"Brad give it back!"

"Make me!" Brad sneered before having the lighter taken away.

"Watch this!" One of the older siblings announced, revving the lighter as she stood on the sofa. She lifted the handheld fire starter for all to see that she held the power. She was victorious! Nicole Kelso was a win-

Water spattered everywhere as the sprinkler system choked to life.

"Awe, man!"

**A/N: So, I hope that last bit was fun. As for this entire chapter…to be continued! Review please.**


	48. What I Learned

**A/N: Hey. This is the forty-eighth chapter. Do you know what that means? In 2 chapters, it will be the 50****th**** chapter. I tend to do big things for the decadal chapters, don't I? Do you know what **_**that **_**means? I MUST DO SOME SERIOUS EVIL PLOTTING! Oh. Wait. You people might actually like a largely **_**benevolent**_** event instead of a largely **_**malevolent**_** one. So? (I'm making bets with myself on whether you want happy or sad.) Guess what, I now have an inkling of what will happen.**

**Disclaimer: I haven't done one of these in long time. I do not, nor have I ever, nor will I ever, own That 70's Show. **

With the sound of a slamming door, Hyde's head shot up. He wouldn't admit it, but he had been asleep in his lawn chair. He looked up to find Fez standing in front of the door, soaking wet. "Fez," he mumbled groggily and finished with a yawn. "What happened, man?"

You could tell just from his eyes that Fez was fed up. "Aye, I don't want to think about what just happened. But I did learn something."

"What?"

"Never help Kelso baby sit, even for candy."

"Wow. That bad." He shimmied himself into a sitting position and ran his fingers through his bed headed hair. He then looked over the edge of the chair for his sunglasses that fell on the floor at some point.

"Yes. I was tied to a chair for hours," Fez explained, rubbing his sides as if he could still feel ropes digging into them.

"Why are you wet?" Hyde grabbed for the sunglasses and lazily shoved them onto his face.

Fez's nostrils flared. "They set off sprinklers." Did most houses even have sprinklers? Probably not, but Fez and Hyde were sure that the Kelso's got good usage out of them. Living in their house must have been like living in a barrel of monkeys.

Hyde smirked, finding amusement in Fez's suffering. If your friends weren't good for laughs, what were they good for?

Fez said "where is everyone else?" with a pout, water still dripping from his hair and clothes.

Hyde blinked. What time was it now? He didn't remember falling asleep, but he figured it was pretty late. Though apparently not too late for Fez to take refuge at their house. "I don't know, man." Fez started walking towards the stairs, figuring the others were likely to be somewhere in the house, his shoes making squishy noises and leaving splotches of water on the floor the whole way.

* * *

><p>"Michael!" Mrs. Kelso folder her arms.<p>

Her husband raised an eyebrow, not letting any emotion be displayed, a skill he found rather handy with his smarter clients at work. It was almost a waste on his own kids.

"Why is the living room soaking wet?" She tapped her foot impatiently.

"Nicole did it!" Michael accused, pointing his finger at his younger sister.

"Uh uh," Nicole snapped, "Brad did it!" Kelso nodded quickly.

"Michael started it!" Brad whined. His mother sighed and rubbed her eyes.

"Oh, real mature _Brad_," Kelso bellowed.

Mr. Kelso pulled his wife aside. "I told you the boy isn't responsible."

She rolled her eyes. "I know, you were right. I guess paying a sitter is a worthwhile expense."

"Dad?" one of the girls, Beth, poked her father. "Michael left the house and brought back a friend."

Mr. Kelso groaned at his daughter's report. "I'll take care of this," he informed his wife. "Michael?" He gave a gesture meaning _come with me while I can still keep up this calm façade_. There was no point in questioning the boy in front of his loudmouth wife and other kids_._ Kelso obliged, but not without calling Beth a snitch.

His dad, completely tired of his kids for the night, told Michael to leave him alone and go somewhere else before he and his mother exploded, which is why Kelso set off for the town's local homeless teen shelter; really meaning _the Forman's house._

* * *

><p>"What kind of idiot makes up that stuff?" Red turned between Eric and Kitty, because he was not totally innocent in the matter, and they all knew it. He hadn't informed Kitty about Eric's idiotic lie, after all. He was playing his usual tactic, yelling at Eric in a thinly veiled attempt at shoving the blame onto someone else.<p>

"Reginald Forman, you knew and you didn't tell me!" Kitty reprimanded.

Eric leaped up from his chair in the dining room where their little powwow was being held. "Yeah!" Forman said, playing the same game as his father.

"Hey-" Red pointed at his son as a warning.

Kitty rolled her eyes. "Oh, Red, leave him alone." Red looked at her. Leave him alone? Then why were they here?

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Hyde was chilling out in his room when Kelso entered, looking suspicious. His eyes darted around as he tiptoed in. "What the hell, man?"<p>

"Hey, Hyde," Kelso said with no trace of his usual grin.

"Hey, man," Hyde answered nonchalantly. "Get out."

Kelso closed the door and shushed Hyde. "Red doesn't know I'm here, and my dad kicked me out," he whispered anxiously. Why would Kelso think Hyde would care? He was more likely to mock him when you looked at his track record of burns.

"And?"

Kelso sat down on the floor, his back against the door. "And I need to stay here, but Red will kick me out."

"Yeah," Hyde starts again, "_and_?" He was not in the mood to wait for Kelso to force his brain into action only to reject whatever sentence he managed to spew out. "Go talk to Forman." Then he lied "Red's not home, man. You won't run into him."

"Where's Forman?"

"Find him yourself," the kid replied with an edge of annoyance.

"Alright." Kelso set off upstairs.

Hyde grinned as he left and looked around. And then he realized that he had absolutely no frigging idea what to do, so he decided to follow Kelso.

"Grounded?" He heard Forman as he padded to the top of the steps. "Like, seriously _grounded_?"

"It's three days, quit your whining." That was without a doubt a genuine Red Forman statement. Hyde watched the scene silently, smirking.

Kitty dispersed to her room. Red planned on making it up to her after a short detour to the kitchen, but happened to bump into a lurking Kelso. "Kitty, call the exterminator, we have a pest problem!" Fez, who Kelso had roped into following him once he saw him in the basement, tried to slink away before being seen. "Oh, hell, not another one!" He sighed heavily. "Kitty!" He resignedly hurried to escape the morons and get back to his wife, leaving the two boys halfway out the backdoor as Forman entered.

"Hey, guys…" Eric looked confused. "When did you get here? And…why are you both wet?" He blinked. "You know what, I don't want to know. C'mon." He gestured to the basement.

Forman opened the door to the basement further and practically kicked the sunglasses-wearing spy in the face before he noticed him. "What the hell, Hyde?"

Hyde stood up and shrugged.

"You tattled on me?"

"I didn't _tattle_ on you, man!" He insisted, not liking the way 'tattled' sounded. "I just didn't cover for your scrawny ass."

Fez smiled. "A-burn," he said with a sly grin.

**A/N: And I'm stopping it there. Well. Yeah…almost 50 chapters! So very close…thanks to Nannygirl and Christineex for helping. Next chapter will be up soon because I've been plotting ****J**


	49. Pass

**A/N: Hey, you know what rocks? How my computer suddenly decided to flip out and it had to be reset to get it to start up again. That means that I lost everything I had ever saved. Isn't that just terrific? Yes, friends, I know it is. So please excuse the delay. And if any of you care, I didn't actually loose too much. I had sent a lot of my writing to various people, so most of it is lost in my email archives. Anyways. This is my second time writing the beginning of this chapter. Also, I read that readers should be able to tell which character is talking without it being said, so I did a lot of that…sorry if it bugs you, just trying things out. **

**WHATEVER. I'll let you read.**

The three boys sauntered into the basement. Hyde, Eric, and Fez took their usual seat while Kelso shook his head rapidly, spraying thousands of tiny water droplets around him, much the same way dogs dry off after coming in from the rain.

"Well, this sucks, man," Eric lamented. "What am I supposed to do for three days?"

"You could start by not whining."

Fez nodded at Hyde's sentiment. "Yes, or…you could start by getting us some snacks. I would not be opposed to some cookies and milk."

"Seriously, guys."

"Seriously, I would like some cookies and milk."

"Ditto…do you think Red would kill me if I crashed here?"

God, this was going nowhere. "You can stay in Laurie's room, I guess."

"Alright!" Kelso cheered in satisfaction.

Eric rolled his eyes. "No. She's not here. Red would definitely kill you if you slept up there and she was."

"He didn't last time."

Eric recoiled in disgust. "Ah, man! _And _there goes the last of my happiness." He shrugged.

"That is it!" Fez stood up. "Fez will get them himself."

* * *

><p>"That's terrible," Kitty said into the phone, ignoring her husband. "Oh, I am so sorry. Yes, yes, of course we'll come! Yes, even Laurie," she assured the caller, murmuring, "though I don't know why you would want her there…yes, I'm still here, Karen. Well, yes, it is just a darn shame."<p>

"Karen?" Red wondered aloud. "What's this about, Kitty?"

"Shh!" She turned back to the phone. "Uh huh…Saturday…well, we'll see you then. Goodbye, Karen." She hung up, a smile spreading across her face. "Red, you'll never believe it!"

"Who died?" He joked.

"My aunt!"

Red's eyebrows furrowed. "Which one?"

"My aunt Jen. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but…oh, who am I kidding, she was a bitch."

"Hmm. About time to sing 'ding dong, the witch is dead,' now isn't it?"

"Oh you." She rolled her eyes. "Well anyhow, we're invited to the funeral next week and I promised my cousin that we'd all come."

"Oh joy."

"Now, now, it won't be that bad. The funeral happens to be in a very nice area. We'll go to the reception and then back to the hotel. I'm sure it'll be a lovely ceremony, Karen always was over the top…and, circumstances aside, it's nice to see family."

Red put his hands on the counter and gripped the edges. "Uh, Kitty, what about…"

Kitty tilted her head. "Yes?"

"What are we supposed to do with Steven?"

* * *

><p>"Three days is not very bad," Fez offered with a mouth full of cookies.<p>

"Yeah. I was supposed to be grounded, then I got kicked out. Ten points!" Kelso cheered after tossing a cookie into the trashcan.

"Kelso, you bastard, do not ever waste cookies!"

"Quit your bitching, Forman," Hyde said over the cookie argument, "so the rest of us can sit back and enjoy your misery." He smirked.

Forman tossed a cookie into the bin. "Twelve points."

"Does no one listen to Fez?"

"Anyways. It's getting pretty late," Forman announced lamely, trying not to sound like a "whiny bitch" as Hyde would say.

"It's late? Oh my god. You don't want to get caught up late by your mommy." Oh, if only Laurie had been there to make an orphan comeback.

"You're one-"

Hyde cut him off. "Speak of the devil…"

Kitty smiled at the kids. "Hello, boys! Red told me you were over. Eric, you remember your great aunt Jen, right?"

"Yeah, the one who says kids are like talking rats."

"Yes," Kitty confirmed. "Well, my cousin Karen just called to say that Aunt Jen passed away."

"Finally! I-I mean, oh no!"

"Well, anyhow, her funeral is on Saturday and Karen says it would mean a lot if you and Laurie came with us." Eric reluctantly agreed, leaving his mom to return to her room (and leave them alone). "Well, it's getting late, boys. Don't be down here too long."

Kelso stood up quickly. "Uh, Mrs. Forman, would it be cool if I stayed the night? My dad kicked me out and I don't have anywhere to go." He made a sad puppy dog face, hoping she'd take pity on him.

"Hmm." She paused to ponder this. "Well, Eric is grounded, but I don't want to see you wind up sleeping in the streets. Eric, why don't you get a sleeping bag for him?"

"Thanks" Kelso smiled, relieved. "Wait, sleeping bag?"

Kitty returned the smile. "Mm hmm. Eric, sweetie, don't you have a nice Star Wars one in your closet?"

"Sure do. Be right back." The could hear a door slamming from upstairs as he spoke. "Sounds like Laurie's home, Mom."

"Awe, man!"' Kelso pouted. Then it hit him; Laurie was home! "I'll go with you, Forman!" Eric shook his head but set off without rejection as Kelso sped past him to talk to his sister.

* * *

><p>Hyde wasn't dumb. He noticed Mrs. Forman hadn't mentioned him. He just didn't want to ask.<p>

"This must be so embarrassing for you," Donna laughed as she waved at the Forman's fleeting car.

"Getting watched by you? Couldn't be happier," Hyde deadpanned.

It was going to be a long weekend.

**A/N: Yeah, this chapter wasn't the absolute best (I'm not a fan of using this many dividers), but it is setting up some awesome things. Next update will be my 50****th**** for this story. I'm so excited. Thank you, my faithful readers, for sticking with this story. Please review?**


	50. Long Time No See

"This'll be fun," Donna half-teased.

Hyde wasn't convinced. "As fun as listening to Jackie yammer on about unicorns."

"Oh, come on," she argued validly, "I'm better than Jackie."

"Whatever."

"Don't go all Zen on me already."

"I don't _go_ Zen, man. I _am _Zen."

Donna smiled at this classic Steven Hyde comment. "Sure you are. Want to go inside yet?"

"That's cool."

* * *

><p>"Man, this place is nice." Eric looked around at the Forman's hotel suite.<p>

"Move out of the way. Twerp," Laurie said, shoving her brother out of the doorway. "Wow," she said, chewing her gum loudly, "surprised Daddy would put out enough cash to pay for a joint this nice."

Their mother added that her family had chipped in just a little bit to make sure they were coming.

The younger Forman child was surprised that his mom's relatives actually cared if they showed up or not. "I didn't know you were close to your family, Mom."

"Well, not all of my family. There are a few I like to keep in touch with. My aunt, rest her soul, was not one of them."

"Took the bitch long enough to croak," Laurie whispered to Eric. Luckily Red was in the other bedroom, meaning her censor was off.

"You know, your cousins will be there tomorrow. Won't that be nice? It's been too long since you've all been together."

Eric pricked his ears at this bit of small talk. Cousins? That meant their cousin Penny would be there, who happened to be mega hot and also was fond of playing pranks. She would have made a good match for Kelso if she wasn't so smart.

That _also_ meant his annoying second cousin Rod would be there. Eric never quite got over how Rod stole his new camera a few Thanksgivings ago. Sure, Eric was thirteen and Rob was five, but that didn't make it okay. Actually, out of all his cousins and second cousin, his only peer was a seventeen year old named Greg.

Greg happened to be an asshole.

"Yeah. That's great, mom," Eric said flatly.

"Oh yeah," Laurie agreed with equal sarcasm, "I can't wait."

"Oh, you kids, lighten up!"

"Mom," Eric reminded her, "we're at a funeral."

"Oh. Right. Well, You knew what I meant. Just be glad to spend time with family." As she said this, Red sauntered into the room.

"Come on, Kitty, we're supposed to meet your family downstairs in five minutes."

"Oh, look, there's Penny and Greg," Laurie said, elbowing her brother outside the hotel minutes later. "This ought to be fun, huh?"

Forman cracked his knuckles. "Bring it on."

* * *

><p>"Do you want to watch TV or something?"<p>

"Whatever you want, Donna."

"Okay. Cartoons sound good?"

"Do I look like Kelso to you?" Cartoons were for kids-or rather, kids at heart.

"I'll take that as a no…so," Donna said in yet another awkward attempt to start a conversation, "how's life?"

"What do you think?"

"No one is here," she urged him on, "you can say whatever you want. It's not like I'll judge you."

Hyde blinked. "Seriously? Oh, god, if only you told me that earlier we could be sharing our deepest, darkest secrets by now." His face crinkled in disgust at the thought.

"Fine. I give up." Donna sighed and rested her elbows on the kitchen counter.

After a long pause, Hyde asked "how's school goin?"

It took Donna a moment to realize that he was being serious. "Um…it's good. You know, for school. How's…that place Laurie ditched you at?"

"The Hell Hole?" She was surprised he was answering. "It's still a hell hole, man. Never changes."

"Have you, like, even gone anywhere besides this house and there this week?"

"Once."

The redheaded girl looked at him for a moment. "Come one. Let's go for a walk."

Hyde sighed and looked at the ceiling. "Whatever." He wasn't exactly fond of being told what to do, but Donna was desperate to engage him in _something_ so she wouldn't be talking basically to herself the whole time. Besides, leaving the house didn't sound half bad.

Hyde forcefully slid the door open and the two set off, no particular destination in mind. "Are you, I don't know, like, used to it yet?" Donna asked innocently.

"Donna…" Hyde said in an almost whiny tone.

Donna was persistent. "No, seriously."

Hyde scoffed in annoyance, but have her the courtesy of answering. "Yeah. Doesn't mean I like it." Wasn't that answer obvious?

"There's got to be some silver lining."

Hyde stared at her silently once more. She had to be kidding. Forman, the wimp, talked down to him, he never went anywhere, didn't drive, couldn't join the circle. Also, physics no longer made _any_ sense.

"Like, no more homework." She was grasping at straws.

"I didn't _do_ homework anyway."

"Oh yeah," Donna said. "I forgot that."

"You forgot I suck at school?" Apparently Donna had a warped vision of him now, too.

A while into their walk, Hyde realized where they were. When he asked why they went this way, Donna said she was just following him. Through some bushes, he could see a dingy house, panels cascading off the sides. Weeds sprouted all over and ivy was climbing the side, though instead of making it look like a house from a garden magazine, it looked like it was being strangled. And it wasn't resisting. It was like the whole house was tired.

Hyde started walking faster.

"Man, slow down," Donna called from a few yards behind. "What are you running for?"

Hyde turned around to answer her, only to bump into a woman walking down the street after not looking where he was going. He fell backwards onto the pavement, and it was too late to run back to Donna unnoticed.

The woman tilted her head, a trace of recognition in her eyes. "You look exactly like my kid used to…" she murmured half to herself.

Hyde looked back at his old house through the shrubs. He didn't want to look up, but she had already noticed.

It had been a long time since he'd seen Edna.

**A/N: FIFTIETH CHAPTER COMPLETED! Hazzah! So yes, the dramatic decadal event mainly takes place next chapter, but I thought the set up made a good surprise. I hope this chapter was alright. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but as I knew it would be the fiftieth, I've been putting in fillers, much to my own annoyance. But man, oh man, is stuff about to happen. As this is pretty much the biggest milestone so far, I would really love it if you took a moment to review, even if you only say a word or two. Thank you so much to Nannygirl and Christineex for helping on this chapter, and to everyone who has reviewed any chapter. You people make my day and are the reason this now has 50 chapters. **


	51. Blast From The Past

**A/N: There once was a girl. Over the summer, she decided that she would be absolutely lazy, phlegmatic and sluggish, even shunning pleasurable work such as fan fiction. This was because summer was the only time when she could be fully lazy (also, working on FF made her stress about her then unfinished AP summer assignment). She neglected her poor readers, though not without guilt, and slacked, did her AP assignment, and then went to the glorious beach, which rendered several stories she dare not repeat.**

**When she returned, she was thrust into a nightmarish institution that filled her with despair and anxiety. Finally, when she wanted to return to writing, she realized that she had brought home much intensive labor from the institution that required doing if she ever hoped to escape. She also realized that her writing efforts had to be put into co-writing a newsletter for a select group of the institutionalized children that she flocked with. She frowned at the irony; she wasted the time she had to write, and now that she wanted to, she barely had time! **_**Oh, cruel institution, thou art a heartless bitch.**_

**And that is why I have not updated in a month. **

Donna's face contorted into a mask of shock, and she stopped herself from rounding the corner and coming into view. She stopped herself just short of gasping. _Edna? _Donna had thought she was long gone. Slowly, literally at a snails pace, she peered around the corner just far enough to see Hyde. Hyde-who looked even more shocked then she did. That made sense, but still-this was _Hyde_. Hyde didn't get terrified. Then again, most things he did were out of place for someone, rather it was him, someone else, or, you know, the laws of nature. But that last one was old news by now, except to Edna Hyde who must be wondering why the hell she ran into a kid who looked exactly like her son used to right in the neighborhood they used to live in.

Hyde's mouth was still slacked open from Edna's statement. "I.." he swallowed nervously, trying to formulate a plan. He was paralyzed with shock. "I'm not awowed at tawk to thtwangewrs."

Donna's head reeled back. Did that lisping, mispronounced sentence really said by Hyde? Even with the de-aging thing, this was weird.

Hyde scuttled backwards about a foot before standing up and dashing around away-in the opposite direction of Donna. Donna, after making sure that Edna hadn't moved, started to go back the way they came to put some distance between the woman and herself.

She was worried. Yeah, technically Hyde had tons of street smarts and would be fine; but he was physically, what, five? There were a lot of bad things that could happen. Of course, if he knew she was worried, he's be pissed. Why the hell did he bolt the other way though?

Donna continued to walk around the block (ninja style so that Edna wouldn't see her if she, too, had left), until finally she ran into Hyde.

"Dude, what the hell?" she blurted out. "Why did you ditch me?"

"I didn't follow you because then if Edna was tailing me, she'd see you too. She was already on to me. Now she'll probably blame it on drugs."

"Assuming she was on drugs."

"Yeah. Assuming."

"And what was up with the baby talk? I never knew you talked like that as a kid, or I would've used it against you years ago."

"Man, of course I never talked like that! That was the point. Make her think she messed up. All a coincidence that some kid looks like her kid."

"Clever."

"Whatever." He cracked his knuckles. "Let's go back to Forman's."

* * *

><p>Forman was not having fun. His cousin Greg decided to rag on him all day, and Laurie and Penny certainly didn't help. Plus a bunch of his mom's old relatives that he didn't even remember kept coming up to hug him, and most of them were crying. Talk about awkward, especially since Forman thought the deceased was a bitch.<p>

And the funeral hadn't even been held yet.

Having been dragged to lunch along with his jerk sister and cousins at the hotel, Forman decided to sneak into his room and call home to relay the day's events. The phone rang enough times that he was about to trudge back when someone finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, man."

"What's up?"

"You call just to chat, Forman?"

"Well…yeah. I can't talk to just my family; I'll go crazy, Hyde. I just can't do it."

"Oh, wow, that sucks man," he said sarcastically. "I feel so damn bad for you. Are you okay? I hope you make it out of there alright. Let me go call the wah-bulance just in case."

"Thanks. Nice to know you care."

"Any time, man."

"Can Donna talk?"

"Sure." There was a pause where Hyde almost left, before a thought hit him. "Hold up, Forman. Donna's going to tell you this anyways so I might as well tell you first."

Forman was hesitant. "Yeah…?"

"We saw Edna today. I ran into her. Literally." His hands were still scratched up from hitting the pavement, but he decided to leave that and a few other choice details out.

"Seriously?" Hyde said nothing back, which silently confirmed it. "So, what did you do?"

Hyde shrugged, though Forman couldn't see. "Left. She had no idea what happened. End of story."

"If you say so, man. So uh, Donna?"

"Yeah. Here." Hyde thrust the phone at Donna without a word.

"Uh, hello? Who's this?"

"Eric. Hey."

"Hi! Miss me yet?"

Eric and Donna talked for a while, the usual meaningless I-miss-you conversations of couples apart from each other. Then Laurie decided to butt her blonde head in. "Hey, Doctor Pee Pee, hang up on your little gossip real and get back to lunch, will you?"

"I'm talking to Donna."

"I'm not interested. Hurry up so you don't miss Mom telling all of her cousins about how you go that nickname."

"What? Okay, I'm coming, Laurie-don't let her tell the one about the seventh grade field trip!"

"It may have already come up. Oops."

"Oh, man!" He said goodbye to Donna and hung up.

**A/N: The heartless bitch of an institution let me off easy this weekend workload wise, so expect another update. The Edna plot is far from done. Thanks for reading and sorry I took a month. Wow. Anyways, reviews would be much appreciated. **


	52. Doubly Grounded

**A/N: Yay! A new reviewer! Anyone else want to contribute? Please? I know you're out there, readers. I have stats. If any of you have any requests for events, please submit. I'd like to know what you guys want.(And dear Christine, your line will be in the next chapter. Sorry I forgot it. You're awesome and I shall not forget it this time.)  
><strong>

"He just stood there with his pants around his ankles-"

"Mom!"

Kitty turned around from the table, a glass of wine in her hand, to face her son. "Oh, Sweetie, most of them have heard it before!"

Eric's eyes grew slowly as the realization dawned on him, opening like those tiny sponges that grow in water. "Who else have you told?"

Kitty's hair bounced like Jell-O as she moved her head. "Honey, don't worry, it's old news to all my friends by now."

Eric spread out his arms. "How is that supposed to help?"

One of his aunts added "it's a cute story."

"No! Not it's not!" It was like someone threw water on a robot. He was malfunctioning, unable to compose his rampant thoughts.

"I'm sorry." Kitty signed. "I promise, no more stories."

Eric pointed at her before walking back to his sister. "Alright, but if I hear my name, all bets are off the table. I've got stories, too, Mom." He walked away, turning around once to give his mother an "I'm watching you" look.

* * *

><p>The Forman family wouldn't be back until late Sunday and Hyde was already bored. "I should call Kelso over," he mused to himself from his lawn chair.<p>

Donna shook her head. "Red said no idiots allowed."

"You going to listen to everything people tell you to do, Pinciotti?"

"Do you want to listen to Red lecture for fifteen minutes?"

"Not unless I've been in the circle and the walls behind him are moving," Hyde answered.

"Then no."

Hyde crossed his arms. Donna used to be cool to hang with. "Got a better idea?"

"We could call Jackie over and paint nails," she teased.

"You know what I heard about smelling nail polish?" He smirked.

"Never mind." Donna looked at the ceiling. "Okay then. You turn." She flipped through channels on the TV. The excitement of getting to embarrass Hyde had diminished after the run in with Edna. Not that he was making things that much easier before.

"We could screw with Forman's stuff and watch him scream like a little girl when he gets back." Hyde smiled, picture his friend's face as he frantically searched his room for his beloved belongings. Yeah, that might be fun.

Donna smiled as she considered it. She told Hyde that she wouldn't prank her own boyfriend, but she wouldn't be opposed to Hyde doing it while she watched. As long as she didn't get the blame.

"Deal," Hyde said, taking off his sunglasses to wipe the lenses. "If we want to screw with him, all we got to do is move is Star Wars 'action figures'" He said the last two words with air quotes. Out of nowhere, he added, "I gotta find something to do besides screwing with people, man."

"Really?" Donna was taken aback. 'Since when are you bored of screwing with people?"

"Since it's all I do. 'M bored, Donna. Got to do something with my life."

"Wow. I didn't think the day would ever come that Steven Hyde wanted to do something with his life. I'm impressed."

Hyde scowled. "Didn't say I was gonna do something big. Just something to kill time."

"Hmm. Yeah." She couldn't help but admit that he hadn't been particularly busy lately. What had she been doing, anyway? Smoking in the circle, going to school, making out with Eric, and thinking about college, right. She slumped. "God, I need to do something with my life. Something big."

"See, Pinciotti, there is where we're different. You want to make it big, I just want to make it through."

"Wow, Hyde," the red headed beauty smirked, "that was really deep."

"Get bent."

* * *

><p>Finally, the funeral arrived. Eric was ready to get it over with and was still pining for home. He missed his friends, and he was totally ready to ditch his family.<p>

He slid into place next to his father and started tapping his feet anxiously while humming.

"Knock it off, will you?" Red said, "we're at a funeral for Christ's sake, Keep it down." Eric put up his hands in surrender.

"He is, I know," Kitty said to her cousin before sitting between Laurie and Red.

Eric looked at his mom suspiciously. "You weren't talking about me again were you?"

"Honey, no!" Eric continued to stare. "Okay, maybe I told the camp story at breakfast, but I was just condoling my cousin on her lost now. Promise."

"Mom!"

Red scoffed. "Eric! What part of 'keep it down' don't you understand? I know, it's all of it, because you're a dumb ass!"

"Red!" Kitty scolded. Red, always trying to please his wife, apologized.

A few minutes later, the funeral began. A sad speech was given, evil Aunt Jen's daughter Kelly and husband Mike spoke, and then the announcement was made that if any guest wanted to share a memory or sentiment about Jen, now was the time.

Everything was going fine until Eric's stupid cousin Greg had to ruin the day. "And now my cousin Eric would like to say a few words."

The lanky teenager shot to his feet. "What? No, I don't. Really. Somebody else can take my turn."

Some crying relative Eric barely remembered wiped a tear and said "go on, Hon, you'll be fine."

"_Yeah, dork, go on_," the ever considerate Laurie added.

Eric smoothed his tie with a gulp. "Uh, alright. Here I go." He stiffly walked to the podium, clearing his voice the whole way. Red shot him a "don't screw this up" face. "Aunt Jen…" he looked at his mother. "Aunt Jen was a, uh…very…creative lady. Made up great stories." About how terrible her family was. "She's always been there for our family…whether we asked her to be or not…uh, and she was great at-rallying the family for support. Yeah, that's it, support. Like when she got the whole family together after she decided my mom was an alcoholic." Crap-did he just say that out loud instead of inside is head? He wanted to get back at his mom for embarrassing him, but from his family's face, Red was going to murder him. Clearly, that was not the desired effect. "Not that she is one! I mean, she likes to drink a lot, but she's-"

"Eric!" Red called out. "Sit down, will you?"

Kitty laughed awkwardly. "Okay, thank you Eric! Anyone else, feel free to go on ahead. Quickly."

Great. Now Eric's whole family knew the camp story, Red was going to kill him, and he was going to be _doubly_ grounded.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I miss Forman interacting with the rest of the gang, so he'll come home next chapter. School is trying to kill me this year, so I apologize that I can't update as often. Thank you to everyone who reviewed last time, and I would love it if you reviewed this chapter. Thanks!**


	53. Action and Action Figures

**A/N: This chapter is sort of long, but so is the closing A/N. Am I the only one who misses Brad and the other annoying kids? They're fun to mess with. I really wanted to put them in the chapter, but they're irrelevant and I had actual plot to : sorry for the 2 typos in the first draft of this chapter. I have fixed them. I have learned that proofreading at midnight is not smart.  
><strong>

"Ugh, finally." Laurie screwed the cap onto her bottle of nail polish and opened the car door. Home sweet home, and not a moment too soon. The members of the Forman family were all a bit fed up with each other.

Eric snuck inside while his parents were busy chattering. It was illogical to avoid them, since Red had taken out his wrath on him at the hotel (while Kitty got very drunk downstairs, ironically, to drown out the memory her son has let slip).

He found Donna and Hyde sitting in awkward silence, save for the quiet murmur of the television set. He walked up slowly behind his unaware girlfriend. Hyde, who was facing the door Forman entered through, raised his eyebrows, silently saying "sneaking up on her? Wow, man. That's lame." Forman put a finger to his mouth to shush him, and Hyde crossed his arms.

When Eric was inches behind his girlfriend, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her. She squealed in surprised before she slapped his hand away, calling him a dill hole. Then, realizing that the boy she missed had returned, she hugged him back. "Oh my god, I feel like you've been gone for a month."

"Get a room," Hyde scolded before walking away in annoyance.

"So," Eric laughed cockily, "have fun holding down Camp de Forman?"

"Oh, yeah, it was fantastic." Donna rolled her eyes. She gave him a brief rundown on the awkward weekend, run in with Edna included. "I'm just glad you're back. I missed my twizzler."

"I missed you too," Eric said in a more sweet tone. "Oh, and I love you," He said as if he's just remembered that he was supposed to say it.

Donna rolled her eyes. "I love you too, you jerk."

* * *

><p>Laurie picked up her suitcase as Hyde entered the kitchen. "Hey, shrimp."<p>

"Have fun at the funeral, bitch?"

Laurie grinned. "Actually, it was real fun. Pimply Longstocking got himself in trouble." The blond smiled fondly at the memory; "the idiot let a certain little secret slip during a eulogy. God, it was great. Eric is such a wimp."

"He screwed up a eulogy?" Hyde's face lit up. "That's impressive, man."

Laurie started walking through the living room to get to the stairs, Hyde on her tail. "Hey, dork," Laurie said to her brother as they passed behind the couch, "nice job giving mom a nervous breakdown." Of course, she exaggerated just a bit to alarm Donna. Not surprisingly to Laurie, it worked.

"What?" The redhead looked at Eric expectantly, but Laurie's work was done. She didn't care to stay around for the moron's explanation. Instead, she and Hyde headed to her room. Laurie set down her suitcase, unzipped it, and started unloading clothes into her dresser.

"Our stupid cousin put him on the spot to share some memory about…whatever her name was. Pee Pants just stared at him like a little girl who was just outed for stuffing her bra. And then-" Laurie bit her lip to hold back a chuckle, "and then he told our whole family of mourners that Mom drinks." She paused. "I've never felt closer to him."

Hyde smirked and nodded his head. "Man. Red and Kitty must've been pissed."

"Yeah," Laurie said. She grabbed a piece of gum off her dresser and popped it into her mouth.

"I moved all of the stuff in his room," Hyde said when Laurie got pleasantly caught up in memory lane.

"Oh yeah?" Laurie put a hand on her hip. "Even the dolls?"

"Yeah. Donna put them under the sink in the bathroom."

"Pretty good." Laurie nodded to show her approval. "The little girl's probably going to cry."

The boy scoffed. "That'd be cool."

Laurie ignored him, lost in her own thoughts. "Damn, I left my nail polish downstairs."

"And now you have to walk all the way downstairs. Bummer."

With that, Hyde and Laurie, both mocking each other, headed back to the kitchen. Eric shook his head at the passing sound of bickering behind him. "Oh sure," Donna commented, "now that Laurie's here, he's got a bunch of stuff to say."

"Laurie is like a burn magnet. You can't help but mock her." As he spoke, the front door opened and Red walked in with two suitcases.

"You're a good brother," Donna noted before Red had time to say something snaky.

"Hey dumb ass, grab one of these suitcases and take it upstairs." And there it was. Since he didn't want to get in any more trouble, Eric immediately went to grab a bag without even a smart comment. Donna followed in case he happened to discover this room makeover while upstairs.

* * *

><p>Hyde grabbed a bottle of root beer and was attempting to pop the cap off when Kitty entered. Kitty being Kitty, a child with a bottle opener worried her, so she took it from him, opened it herself, and handed it back without a second thought. He held the bottle slightly away from him, taken by surprise.<p>

"I'll be right back, kids," Kitty said. "I just have to unpack and then I'll get started on dinner."

Hyde looked at Laurie, thinking _what just happened?_ He shrugged and took a swig of the soda. "So, sleep with any morticians while you were gone?" He said as a conversation starter.

"Morticians are-" Laurie was cut off by a quiet knocking on the sliding door.

"Who is it?" Hyde asked his sister since the counter blocked his view.

"It's-your _mom_."

"What?" _Holy shit, _Hyde thought, _Edna?_

Man, he didn't think she'd actually give their run in a second thought. What, did she think she was imagining things but wanted to check up on her abandoned kid so she could stop thinking about him again?

"Duck," Laurie warned. For once, she was actually acting in someone else's interest. "I'll sop her off. But you owe me." Hyde quickly scrambled to get behind the basement door. He heard Laurie slide the door open.

"Yeah?" Laurie said, smacking gum.

"Are you the Forman girl?"

"Who else would I be?" Laurie said, as if it were a dumb question.

"Is my kid here?"

"Who? The orphan?"

"He's not-look, is Steven here?"

"Nope. Bye, nice talking to you."

"Do you know where he is? I wanted to talk to him."

"I'm not his keeper. Try somewhere else."

"Alright, I get-" now it was Edna's turn to be cut off. Hyde could see Forman rush into the kitchen.

"Dang it, Hyde, where's my action figure collection?" He looked around the room. "Where's Hy-oh, god, Edna. Uh, did I say Hyde, cause I meant hi." Hyde wanted to kick Forman's ass after that. The sixteen year old was hopeless at improvising.

Edna's voice said next "wait, I thought you said he wasn't here."

"Uh…." Forman stammered.

"Let me in." Hyde could hear the sliding door shut.

He could see Edna enter his line of vision, and of course, luck never being on his side, she spotted him within seconds.

"I-I thought-who are you? I thought you looked just like-" Edna stared in shock, letting her jaw go slack.

Okay. Too late for excuses. "Funny," Hyde retorted, "I thought you were too busy staring at the guys on top of you to notice the one in the next room."

"Um…" Forman swallowed. "I'm…going to go find…my dolls-action figures! _Man._" He scurried out of the room to seek help.

"You can't-" Edna blinked.

Mother and son were both speechless.

**A/N: Yu can thank Christineex for the end of this chapter. The "guy in the next room over" line was all hers, and she let me use it. If I didn't have to work that (excellent) line in, about half a page of this chapter would get pushed into chapter 54. Wow. 54 is a lot. So applause for Christine's magnificence! (And nanny girl who always reviews, and the anonymous guest from a chapter back). I've talked to Christine about doing something like "if I get 3 reviews next chapter, this will happen, if I get 4, this other thing will happen, if I get 5, something else, and more, something super great!" But you guys are silent readers so I don't know what you want. I know you guys like it when Hyde gets hurt, but more so sick…but I'd like some new ideas. Input? Ideas? Comments on this chapter? All of the above (please please please?) Thanks for reading and I I'm amazed that the A/N puts this over three pages. Yay! Please review.**


	54. Edna

**A/N: I'm confused as to whether or not I confused you. I do still have ideas for this, I was just wondering if there were any plot bunnies you have desperately wanted for a while. But I still love the suggestions! All good. Which leads me to this; thank you Monkeygirl98 (how d'you do? It's been a while), Christeenex (see? I did update! You don't have to kill me now) and GreedTheSelfless (I now feel dumb because I have only now realized how clever that username is). All suggestions have been taken into account. **

"I don't get it," Edna finally said.

"Course you don't," Hyde said, walking towards the table.

"This isn't possible," she stammered to herself. "Right?"

Hyde sniggered and shook his head. He wished it wasn't possible, but somehow…_somehow_ this insane, ridiculous plot was real.

In the background, Donna stopped herself at the doorway and quietly watched. Now she knew why her boyfriend had run upstairs, completely bypassing her.

"What are you doing in town? You left," Hyde pointed out.

"What are you doing-like-like this?" A fair response. Hyde shrugged. "Steven…?"

"Yeah?" Hyde answered. "You got a question?"

"Yeah. How is this crap possible?"

Hyde shrugged again, and Edna sighed. "You remember my friend Kelso?"

"The cute, dumb one."

"Yeah. The second half. He's a dumb ass."

"Alright. What does that have to do with this?"

Donna cleared her throat awkwardly and walked in. "What Hyde means is, he and Eric were playing with an old chemistry set, and-"

"Kelso added a bunch of shit to it," Edna's son added.

"Right. And then Hyde, uh…" she tried to phrase it in a way that didn't seem like Hyde had huffed the mysterious blue stuff like a drug. "He smelled it. Then he blacked out-"

"_Hey_!" Hyde barked.

"And then this," Donna finished, waving him off.

Edna paused to think this story over a few times. "Okay, I ain't no genius or nothing, but how the hell do chemicals do this? Scientists have been trying to make something like this for years and still can't. What are the chances some dumb kid would get it right, huh?"

"I don't know, Ma. Maybe Kelso's a secret genius." He smirked at his own quip. Laurie, who was staying silent in order to not make things worse for once, rolled her eyes and smiled with him.

"When did this happen?"

Hyde looked at Donna and Laurie. He hadn't thought about the date since stupid _Valentine's Day_ in February. Donna took the cue and tilted her head up while she did the math. "About four months," she said uncertainly, before looking stunned at the revelation. Huh. So it had been four months in absolute hell already, Hyde thought. That seemed like not nearly as long as he thought it had been.

"So what were your plans, kid? Freeload of the Forman's for another thirteen or whatever years?" _Freeload? _

"Hey." It was Red. Red to the rescue. Red the angry, annoyed guy with his worried wife and awkward, twitchy son in tow. Hyde was both relieved and embarrassed, sort of like a kid who'd be pantsed by a bully only to have an older kid tell off the bully (which, coincidentally, had happened to Forman before). Or, even better, like a new Foreign kid who was strung up on a hook saved from bullies by new friends, but who had to be seen by his new friends stuck on a hook. He was glad he wasn't on his own, but wished he could've handled it on his own nonetheless.

"What are you doing here?" Red asked curtly.

"Just came to see my kid. My right, ain't?"

"No," Red said, cutting through the crap, "not after you abandon him. What kind of parent just leaves their kid totally on their own? A shitty one, that's it."

Edna stood up. "Well excuse me. I didn't know you were his keeper now." _Keeper, my ass, _Hyde thought. He didn't have a friggin' keeper.

Edna went on to tell Red why she got the idea to check up on Hyde, how'd he'd run into her by her old house. And, after that, how none of this made sense to her. How her innocent visit turned into something unbelievable. Also, she insisted, he was her kid, and she had a right to know about him. Too know when things happened to him. To take him back.

Red took a few long breaths, never breaking his intimidating eye contact with Edna. He was deciding whether to kick her out, or explain things to her _and then_ kick her out.

Kitty slowly leaned towards Hyde and suggested he leave the room (after Donna already dragged Eric out), but he refused. He was sick and tired of people telling him what to do. He could make up his own mind. He didn't have a damn keeper. And if he did, it was himself. This was about him and he could handle it himself.

Everyone was always trying to make things into big deals. If people would just chill out and not turn things into a fight, it would be a lot faster to resolve. Then everyone could bitch and brood about it afterwards.

If he told his ma that he wasn't going anywhere, he'd sound like a petulant kid. _"No, Mommy, I don't want to go!"_ He could just picture some little kid screaming at an amusement park. Yet, he couldn't just sit back, either. Man, since when did he think this much about telling people off?

There were so many things he could say; _you can't just ditch me and then take me back, since when do you give a fuck about me, you sure you want just ditch me again in a few years? _But Steven Hyde was a man of few words. So instead, he started with what he had long ago written on an SOS message in crayon; "hey Edna; fuck off." He wished Red and Kitty weren't there, making him want to watch his words. "Why the hell do you suddenly give a crap about what I do?"

She looked taken aback. She had been arguing with Red, and then her kid just mouths off to her; it made her stop. For a moment, they both wondered if Edna really came back for him, and if she really wouldn't just re-abandon him later. She wanted to think. And while she thought, she didn't want Hyde around. She wanted to leave him there.

Edna Hyde looked around the room. She stood up. "you know what, stay here. But you're still my kid." When Red gestured to the door, she complied and left.

**A/N: Blah, I am not happy with this ending! I never know how to end chapters that involve a long term plot! I hope you enjoyed anyways. I just remembered what I wanted to do next chapter, and it's fun! Hint (prissy, don't guess in your review, because you'll probably get it right): buddies. BTW, I am sorry to Christine and everyone else for the long update time! I wrote the first quarter and A/N of this so long ago...and took forever. My bad.  
>Oh, yeah! Hope everyone is doing well after Sandy and stay awesome.<br>**


	55. Kelsos and Ideas

He was at the Hell Hole again, once again deciding that that nickname was perfect for it.

"So you aren't a ghost," Brad asked for the ten billionth time.

"Whatever," Hyde said. There was no point in walking away from the kid, he'd just follow him around, asking the same dumb questions over and over. He even made Hyde miss _Michael _Kelso.

The Hell Hole was annoying because it always brought him back to the same point; why the hell was this happening, what were the guys up to, why he was there, where would the funeral for his cool reputation be held, but seriously, _why the hell did he have to be there? _Why.

Then suddenly there was a tiny pair of arms wrapping around him. "I missed you Stevie!"

Oh, god damned. Not the little one. He tried to pry Jodi's chubby little fingers away, and she seemed not to mind.

"Wanna play a game?"

"Nope."

"Awe, you're no fun."

"That's right kid, so why don't you go find someone who is."

"No," she said, drawing the word out in a whine, "you play too. You never do anything."

"Man, Look, you go play dollies or tea party or whatever it is you do, and leave me alone, okay?"

She frowned, but said she would, and reluctantly walked to her twin sister across the room.

Brad watched her walk away. "You should play house with her, then she'll leave you alone." Hyde slapped him on the back of his head for that. He gasped in a very big-Kelso like fashion and rubbed his head. "My mom says I'm not aloud to hit people."

"Yeah, but she never said I wasn't allowed."

Brad tilted his air-filled head. "Oh. Yeah, I guess you're right. Does your mom let you hit people?"

"Yeah. She's cool for anything, man. Doesn't care much."

"Lucky!"

"Yeah."

"Can you eat candy for dinner?"

"Sure, man."

"Wow! I wanna have your mom!"

Hyde shrugged, brushing him off. And thus, an awkward silence was born. Brad stuck the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, a look of strained thought on his face. "Um…Steve?" Hyde didn't answer. "Steve?" Brad poked Hyde, who gave him a bored, half hearted death glare in return.

"Yeah?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Nothing."

"Um…" Brad ran a list of games through his head, determined to entertain his friend. "Wanna play Christmas? You could even be Santa."

"Christmas was months ago, dumb ass-"

Brad gasped. "More bad words!" He clasped his hands over his ears, echoing "la la la la la la!"

Hyde put his face in his hands. What did he do to deserve being stuck with this idiot? He legitimately couldn't stand any of these kids. There had to be one person in this-wait.

Hyde stood up and ditched the six year old Kelso, earning a "no, wait, Steve, where you going?" He walked to the other side of the room, closer to the wardens. He move Brad a little bit, and then shoved him lightly.

"Hey!" Brad looked more confused than angry.

"You're an idiot," Hyde replied casually. And just like that, the wardens sent him to the hallway.

There she was; the one bearable person in the Hell Hole. The hot new secretary. She paused her typing at the sound of his footsteps and smiled. "Hi. What are you doing out here?" Hyde shrugged. "Did you get sent out for doing something you weren't supposed to?" That may have come off as patronizing to any sane adult, but damn it all if it wasn't still attractive coming from her. Hyde smirked. If he ever got himself back to normal, she'd be the one good reason to ever come back to this place.

"What's your name?"

"Steven. Yours?"

"My name Brooke."

He nodded coolly and leaned back against the wall, ending their exchange with "that's cool."

* * *

><p>As Hyde descended the stairs to the basement that afternoon, he heard giggling. Smoke met him as he reached the lower steps. What the hell?<p>

Awe man, the guys were in the circle! Eric, Fez, and Kelso were all sitting around the table, acting like they were having the best fucking time of their lives.

"Hey." Hyde pulled his usual chair up to the table and took a seat.

"Oh, hey!" Eric grinned like Hyde's presence was some great frigging honor. "What's up?"

"I heard they're making a car that runs on water," he said to get a rise out of them.

"No way!" Kelso's eyes bugged out. "On water? What if…what if the next one runs on something crazier, like…like…like chocolate sauce, man!"

"Yes!" Fez planted a hand on Kelso's shoulder. "That is it! We will make a car that runs on chocolate sauce! Ooh! Or a car that _is_ chocolate, so that we can eat it after we drive!"

"No Fez, you dumb ass," Hyde chimed, "that would never work. The engine would melt when you turned it on."

Fez's face drooped at this. "Oh." He sighed, feeling crushed. "Oh! We will make a _boat _that runs on water!."

"Fez, man, that's all boats," Eric laughed. "Wait a minute…"

"Why must all of Fez's ideas be shot down?" The foreigner pouted.

"Do you guys remember," Kelso started, "that time we went hunting? And Eric couldn't-"

"No, I said wait a minute," Eric asserted. He held up a finger to keep them quiet. "Wait, Hyde." He looked into space, hoping for a train of thought. "Hyde, man, aren't you, like, not supposed to be here?" On account of being-" He held his hands about a foot apart.

"Nah, man, it's cool."

"But-" Eric looked puzzled. "Dang it! What was that thing that happened?"

"What?" Hyde sneered.

"That thing! When you OD'd!"

"Different stash, man, different stuff. I'm just sitting here, man."

"Oh." Eric grabbed some popcorn out of the bowl in the middle of the table and shrugged.

"Any of you geniuses got ideas on how to fix that?"

Kelso smiled. "Geniuses? I don't know man, Fez and Forman are pretty dumb."

"Fix you sitting here?" said Fez.

"No man, the-" He made the same gesture as Eric had, holding his hands about a foot apart, "-the shrink-y thing."

"Oh, I do!" Kelso exclaimed.

"Kelso, sit your ass down." He shoved a hand full of popcorn into his mouth. "Like corralling one Kelso all day ain't enough."

"Man, that's a great idea! We should get one of my stupid brothers to help, cause what's better than one hot Kelso guy?"

"Two hot girls." Eric said, smug. "Anything."

"Damn it Kelso, would you shut up? You're the one who got me into this bullshit." Really, a high school kid should be able to read the word "chemistry." Kelso needed a fucking tutor, man. God help the world if someone was ever dumb enough to have kids with him. "Wait, why the hell am I asking any of you?" He looked around at their faces through the smoke. He would find someone better (read as; someone less stoned) to help him.

It was about time he tried to fix this mess.

**A/N: And stop! Hi! I know I was gone for a super long time. I've made a wall of excuses on my profile. The ones about the web comic and extracurricular are particularly applicable to this gap. But I'm back! Yes, the Edna thing will be revisited soon enough, but it's the holiday season and I want to do a lighter scene. And also just present SOMETHING. I've been gone too frigging long. I was busy for real though, promise. I think I put a few cool things in here…foreshadowing wise. And, I guess, a few allusions to past chapters? Whatever. That's not important. What IS important is this; to Guest reviewer from about a month ago; I wish you had an account so I coulda thanked you earlier but that review made me **_**so**_** happy. Thanks a lot, really. Also thanks to MistyMountainHop who won't get to this chapter in a long time, and to my usual reviewers. You know who you are.  
><strong>

**And thank you to everyone reading. Happy holidays!**

**PS: I fixed typos pointed out by Christineex. Sorry about that.  
><strong>


	56. Searching and Finding

**A/N: Hi! Sorry I haven't update in a while; last week I had exams. And "Guest," whoever you are, your review made me so happy. It's one of my favorite reviews ever, so thank you. And **_**yes**_**, all you other fans are great too. Oh, and Trillion! Welcome back! Man, this story has been going well lately. Anyways, without further ado, I bring you chapter 56! (holy crap I never thought it'd get this far). **

As soon as Forman was sober enough to be of any help, Hyde asked "Forman, did you ever throw that chemistry set away?"

"No. Wait, what are you going to do with it?"

"What do you think I'm going to do, dumb ass?" Hyde sneered.

Forman stood up. "I _think_ you're going to mix more stuff and smell it or drink it, but that's dumb so I don't know Hyde. What _are_ you going to do?" He crossed his arms defiantly, almost daring him. Hyde stared at him for a second then continued to rummage around.

"Yeah, nice try, man," Hyde said.

"No-" Eric walked in front of him. "you're the one I should be saying 'nice try' to, cause you're not going to do it!"

Hyde completely ignored him, using his chair to climb on top of the washing machine to look for the box on the high shelves. Of course, it wasn't there either. He sighed, giving up, "Fine. You win, man."

"Oh," he planted his hands in his pockets, "good."

Kelso, who had been oddly silent, reared his head over the back of the sofa to look at the other two people in the room. "It's probably a good thing it's lost. Playing with that stuff is dangerous, man, I'm telling you."

"Kelso." Hyde stared at him through tinted lenses, his eyes filled with severe annoyance. "_You_ mixed all that shit into it. You're the one who screwed it up."

"I was taking from personal experience, _Hyde_."

Hyde lunged forward, but stopped himself before he took another step, making it look like he had done nothing more than stomp his foot. When was Kelso ever going to do something right for a change? "Kelso, you wanna do me a favor?"

"Sure, Hyde."

"Shut up."

Kelso shrugged and laid back down on the sofa.

"What am I supposed to do, man?" Hyde addressed Forman.

"I don't know," Forman replied, not liking being put on the spot. "it's not like this is a normal thing that I can get from a book." Hyde scoffed. "Maybe we could, like, contact the manufacturer of the chemistry set?"

"Oh yeah, that'll go over well. 'Hey, I huffed some of your toy chemicals and now I'm a kid. Sure that happens all the time, no big deal. How do you usually fix it?'"

"Okay, I see your point. But how will anyone know what we should try? Has this ever even happened before?"

"Hell if I know. If it has, nobody's talking because it sounds like crazy bullshit."

Forman shrugged. He vaguely recalled what Mr. Miranda had told him about the impossible of this "hypothetical" situation. "Maybe…maybe there are mythology books on it or something. It's worth a try."

Hyde agreed a nod, but only because he was desperate.

The next Saturday, the gang headed down to Point Place's library. Well, Donna, Eric, and Hyde went. Jackie refused, but agreed to hold down their usual booth at the Hub with Michael so they could eat afterward. Fez had tagged along with Kelso in order to grab extra food and play pinball.

Meanwhile, Eric was already starting to give up. "We're never going to find anything."

Donna slammed her book shut. "We haven't even been here for half an hour."

"Really?" Eric looked at a clock on the wall. "Wow. Thought it had been an hour already." Donna hit him with the book. "Ow!"

"That didn't hurt," she dismissed him.

"Did too!"

"Oh my god," she giggled, "I'm dating a wimp."

"No. You're dating a man. A very manly man."

"Oh yeah, sure."

"If I was a wimp, could I do this?" He scooped up a short stack of books in each arm and proceeded to lift them above his head…before they all came tumbling down. "Dang it!"

A librarian shushed him and he blushed. Donna stood up and wrapped her arms around him. "Nice try."

"Hey lovebirds." They looked down at Hyde, who was becoming very good at sneaking up on people. "You actually getting any work done?"

"We were…"

"Whatever. Find anything?"

"Not yet," Donna said.

Hyde put his hands in his pockets. "That's cool."

Donna could read him, though, and knew he must be disappointed. "But I'm sure we will."

Hyde shrugged and walked away.

Kelso was just walking in with Jackie to tell them that they were going to eat with or without them when the pretty boy bellowed "whoa, babe alert!" Jackie slapped him, but Hyde looked in the direction of his gaze. Well, if it wasn't hot new secretary girl.

Hyde walked over to the tall brunette. "Hey Brooke."

She looked down from the book she was considering. "Oh, hello! Steven, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he smirked and looked over to Kelso, whose jaw was dropped to the floor.

"Do you know that man?" She gestured to Kelso.

"Yeah.." He was smiling at her, barely paying attention to the question. "But he has a girlfriend. And he's stupid."

She chuckled. "Is that so?" She knelt down to his level, setting her book in the ground.

"Uh huh."

She looked at the boy. "Do you wear those sunglasses all the time?"

"Uh huh."

"Very cute."

"Everyone says that."

He leaned against the book shelf, very pleased. Smooth, thy name was Hyde.

**A/N: Awkward place to end, but I could have made that twice as long had I continued. This will probably pick up right where it left off next time. Until then, please review and thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed.**


	57. Questions

**A/N: My usual spiel. So um…yeah, I kind of took a several-month-long unplanned unannounced hiatus. Sorry about that. I was literally busy every week day the whole hiatus. Life: it gets in the way of fan fiction sometimes. But I'm back! Just as I said last chapter, I'm also in the rough draft stage of writing an original novel with a friend, which has been finagling all of my planning and writing skills. I'll try to update semi regularly though. You guys are the best, and I'm really sorry. Life has been really busy.**

"So who are you here with?" Brooke smiled.

"No one."

"What?"

At the sound of concern in Brooke's voice, Hyde snapped out of his daze to amend his statement. "No one important. Just my brother and his friends."

"Oh. Are you looking for any type of book?"

"Mythology."

"Wow! Aren't you smart?"

"Yeah. Some circles call me an intellectual, but most of them just call me Steven."

Brooke put a hand over her mouth to cover her laughter. When she had the giggles under control, she continued "well, nice to run into you Steven, but I have to go, and I think your brother is waiting for you."

It took a lot of self control for Steven not to say "he can wait longer," or "ah, forget about him." Instead, he just shrugged, said goodbye, and walked away from Brooke.

"Damn, who was that?" Kelso ogled after the girl as he walked towards Hyde.

"Nobody I want to introduce you to, Kelslow."

"C'mon man!"

"No way, man. If you ever talk to her, you'll have Jackie crying and bitching again and you'll probably get her pregnant or something."

Kelso scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"She'd never go for a moron like you anyways. Save your energy for the next time you need to solve a math problem."

"So you won't go for someone like me, but she'd go for you? There's no way, Hyde!"

Hyde grinned. "Man, even in this body, chicks still like me more than you."

"Yeah, well…at least I'm tall enough to kiss a girl!"

"So you choose to date the smallest, whiniest girl there is. Real smart, man."

Kelso crossed his arms, pleased with himself. "Heh, you didn't say I wasn't tall enough."

Hyde stared at him, started to open his mouth, then shook his head and walked away. Some stupidity just wasn't worth correcting.

* * *

><p>At the hub, Eric was showing Hyde the different books he found. He and Donna had collected six, most of which were very thick but only had brief mentions of people "going back in time" or becoming younger. One book was entirely dedicated to the fountain of youth, which seemed at least a bit more useful than the others, and one was just a fictional story at about a sixth grade reading level. Hyde actually laughed at that one.<p>

Jackie took a seat across from the boys as they examined the different books, dragging Kelso by the sleeve. "So Hyde, I heard Edna stopped by last week."

"Yeah, so?" Hyde didn't have the patience for this conversation topic to be played out. He had been doing just fine ignoring that event, thank you very much.

Jackie leaned in close, ready for gossip. "What did she say to you? Did she want something? Did she know about what happened?"

"Slow down, cheerleader. One dumb question at a time."

Jackie straightened her back and adopted a poised pose. "Okay. Did she recognize you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"So what did she do?" As she asked this, Donna sat down with a basket of french fries, a hungry Fez not very far behind.

"What are we talking about?" Donna asked.

Jackie slapped Kelso's hand away from the french fry basket, reminding him how bad the oil was for skin before answering. "We're talking about Hyde's _mother_, Donna. Go on, Hyde."

Hyde rolled his eyes under tinted lenses. "Look, enough about Edna. She left, alright? She's gone. Everything is back to normal."

"Well," Fez spoke up through a mouth full of food, "not everything."

"Oh, yeah, and what's not?"

Fez waved his hand at Hyde. "You are still fun sized."

"Ha! Fun sized. Good one, man," he said sarcastically. There was nothing _fun_ about this size.

"So, uh, Hyde," Eric interjected, "who was that girl at the library?"

Hyde smirked. "Friend of mine." Kelso crossed his arms after hearing this. How did Hyde get friends that hot? He had Library Girl, and Jackie, and Kelso…could Kelso count himself as his own friend? Man, no way could Hyde know more hot people than he did.

"Friend from where?" Fez asked.

_Was Brooke all they could think about?_ Hyde dismissed them, saying "from Go Screw Yourself Land. Enough about her."

"Okay…" Eric said, deciding to help his friend change the topic. "So does anyone want to actually, like, order food?" Kelso, seeing that they had nearly emptied the french fry basket, answered with an emphatic "yep."

"One perk of being a kid;" Hyde said after they had ordered and gotten their food, "lunch is on Forman."

"You're welcome," Forman smiled. They'd been on pretty good terms lately. Hell, maybe Hyde was actually a bit happier even. "Oh, hey, Hyde, I just remembered."

"Yeah?"

"It's almost your birthday," Eric said excitedly.

_Great. _"Cool."

**A/N: And there you have it! We have a birthday coming up! This story left off somewhere in Spring (I don't believe I've declared a date since the Valentine's Day chapter) and I'm not sure if That 70's show set a real date or time of year for Hyde's birthday, but oh well. Creative liberties. **

**So! Hyde's party will be either next chapter or the one after. Are there any certain presents you think he should get? Any sort of celebration (I'm mainly typing this sentence to remind myself that I just got a great idea)? Mainly, are there any two characters (Hyde can be one of them, or not, doesn't matter) that you would like to see a scene between? I feel bad about not updating for so long, and I promise for real the next chapter will be up soon, since I know exactly what will happen. See you guys soon, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll get working on the next one! Thanks for reading!**


	58. Change of Pace

**A/N: Hello guys. First of all…wow. I got a lot of reviews since the last update. Thank you all so much! You know all that cliché stuff about it making my day? Well, that's true. It's really nice to know you guys are enjoying and want more. So, I have next chapter all planned out (and there are a few moments I'm really excited for. And yes, your reviews have given me ideas. So thank you again for that). I'm going to be pretty busy for the next week, so I'm not going to estimate the next update, but who knows. I mean, it won't be a long ways away, but I have some other things to attend to, so…Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

"Are you excited for tomorrow, Steven?" Hyde shrugged at Kitty's question. "Oh, come on. It's your birthday!"

"Kind of a weird birthday, Mrs. Forman." He was stuck in between so many things. Yeah, tomorrow was his seventeenth birthday, but he didn't look the part, nor was his current form reaching a milestone. Physically, he was five and he-stopped-keeping-track-of-how-many-months, not turning five, not turning six. So in a sense it wasn't really his birthday, right? But technically, tomorrow would be the seventeenth anniversary of his birth. Damn, this whole age thing had become complicated.

"Oh, nonsense." Kitty continued, smile never faltering. "It's going to be a fun birthday."

"Sure." A fun birthday of not being cool, or being a normal height, or being in a circle.

"I promise. Ooh! You haven't told me what flavor cake you want yet."

Hyde had to admit, this got his attention. "Cake?"

"Of course!" Kitty said, as if it was unthinkable _not_ to have cake on your birthday (which had been the reality for Hyde several times in the past).

Hyde looked out the window of the car to trees whizzing past. After taking a moment to think, he informed his pseudo mother that a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting would be pretty cool. If she didn't mind.

"Don't be silly. It's my pleasure."

"Thanks, Mrs. Forman," the boy smiled.

Kitty smiled back and pulled into the Hell Hole parking lot. "Here we are!" Hyde rolled his eyes, hoping she didn't notice. "I'm sorry nobody can be home today. I did manage to pull a few strings, and I'll be able to leave work early today. Then we can both get home, and before you know it, it'll be your birthday!"

"Yeah, I know." Hyde opened the car door and hopped to the ground. Kitty was so excited about his birthday that you'd think it was _today_. While he appreciated her enthusiasm, the nonstop focus on him and tomorrow was, to be honest, wearing on his nerves a bit.

Once inside, he reluctantly left Kitty to talk to Brooke as he walked into the first door on the left. There was a suspicious lack of ankle biters today. And wouldn't you know it, neither of the wardens were there either. There was only a handful of children in the room, and a young woman he'd never seen before. She had tan skin, and black hair, and was awkwardly tall for a girl, or so Hyde thought from his new height. Even so, she was eye candy. _Happy birthday to me_, he thought with a smirk.

"Hello!" The girl called cheerfully, taking a few strides to reach the door. "My name's Abby." She didn't introduce herself as "Miss." This was a good sign. Maybe, unlike the normal chicks that ran this place, she wouldn't have an inflated sense of authority.

"Hey. I'm Steven," Hyde answered, a bit confused. "Where's…" he struggled for the wardens' names "Miss Caroline, and uh…the other one?"

The girl chuckled. "They're outside with some of the kids. I'm here hanging with the guys who wanted to stay inside."

"Do you work here?"

She laughed again. "I do, I do. I work down the hall, in the class for smaller kids."

"How small?"

"Really small. Two and three years old. How old are you?"

Technically, he was still five, but it was his birthday tomorrow, so what the hell? "I turn six tomorrow."

"That's great! Happy birthday!" She gave him a high five, which he lamely accepted.

"Thanks." Damn. Either he was really unfortunate to be stuck with the wardens, never seeing this girl before, or really lucky to meet her now. "If you're here, who's with your little kids?"

"Oh, some of them came with me." she turned around and pointed to a few small children he hadn't paid attention to as he came in, who were playing around with some beanbag chairs and toy trucks. "Those are my girls Skye and Lane, and that's my boy Emmet. I have three others back in my room with David."

"David?" Hyde frowned.

"My partner."

"What kind of partner?"

"My assistant. He works here with me."

"Oh." A dude and a hot chick. Damn, he was in the wrong class.

"Well, go on and have some fun."

"I was," he said walking away, thinking he was being clever. Dude, if he had to be stuck as a kid, might as well take advantage of being thought of as innocent.

Now the hard part: how to kill several hours. Abby's gaggle of toddlers, though less annoying than the few Hell Hole kids left in the room that he already knew, were still just as boring as the older kids. Toys were lame, and the books were too easy. On occasion eavesdropping had proven itself to be mildly amusing. He could barely understand the smaller kids, as if they'd have any interesting to say, and the two girls from his class were discussing softball. Another girl kept sneezing into the book she was trying to read. Gross. Then there was the boy sitting in the corner who had a cast on his leg.

Since he had nothing better to do, Hyde approached the boy with the cast. "Hey. What's your name?" Hyde couldn't tell if the boy seemed scared that he was talking to him, or just surprised.

"My name is T.J." he said, sounding rather unsure of himself.

"T.J. Cool. I'm Steven."

"I know."

Hyde planted himself on the floor next to the kid. "What happened to your leg?"

"I broke it."

Hyde rolled his eyes. He was regretting talking to this boy already. "How?"

"I fell off the ladder climbing into my tree house." Hyde smiled, reminded of Kelso and the water tower.

Feeling the silence that had grown when Hyde gave no response, T.J squirmed. "Um…" he started, "do you want something? Cause you normally don't talk to anybody but Brad and those girls." Damn, Hyde hoped this kid didn't think he was an asshole. Not that he particularly cared what a four year old thought of him, but he didn't want to be like the exclusionary jerks at his school. Or rather, like the exclusionary jerks at his _former_ school. Hyde wondered if he'd be this bored there as he was here.

"I don't know," Hyde answered, "I was bored. What do you do to kill time 'round here, T.J.?"

"Um…I play…"

"Play what?" Geez, this kid didn't know how to answer a question.

"Uh…games." Ah, here came the rest of the kids from outside, and not a moment too soon.

"Cool, nice talking to you, T.J." Hyde pushed himself off the ground and walked towards the door. "Hey, Brad!"

"Steve! You're alive!"

"Man, you really gotta stop saying that." Hyde walked over to an empty table. Once seated, he tilted his chair backwards, putting his feet on the table. Brad took a seat next to him and mimicked his actions…which caused his chair to fall to the ground. Yep, Brad was a Kelso through and through.

Of course, Lizzie and the twins had to join them at the table too. Normally Hyde would be annoyed by bratty, bossy Wendy and her disgustingly lovesick sister, Jodie, but he was in a good mood today. He'd let it slide. They were, after all, just kids.

"How come you're so smiley?" Jodie asked, swinging her feet merrily as she drew a picture of a…well, Hyde wasn't sure what it was supposed to be.

"Tomorrow's my birthday," he answered.

Three of the kids lit up. "Happy birthday!"

"It's not his birthday yet, guys," Lizzie told the other three, poking Brad. "Steve, what do you want for your birthday tomorrow?" Hyde looked over to where Abby had been, and was disappointed to see that she, and the three little kids she had brought, had gone. With a lack of any good answer, he settled for shrugging at the redheaded girl's question.

"I'm going to make you a card," Lizzie declared with a proud smirk.

"Thanks, kid," Hyde said, pretty sincerely.

"Well then, I'm making one too!" Brad chimed in.

"Me too! And _mine's _going to be better."

"Mine's going to be pink!"

Hyde rubbed his eyes, but kept quiet. These kids weren't much dumber than his normal gang, anyways. Man, Brad might even turn out to be smarter than his older brother. Of course, Hyde was still partial to Michael Kelso, and, after all, wasn't his stupidity what made him so entertaining? _Hmm, that gave him an idea for tomorrow…_

He was…he was actually excited for his birthday. Though he had an uncaring reputation to keep up, he had to admit, it was a nice change of pace.

**A/N: And there you have it. You know, originally this chapter was going to be all dark and brooding, but…nope. My brain decided to through out all the plans I had for this chapter and make it lighthearted, which I think is (sorry to borrow a phrase from the chapter) a nice change of pace. I hope you liked it to. Please review, and if you really want to, feel free to make suggestions for next chapter (although I have plans. Yes. That line about Kelso actually has a planned follow through). Until next time, thank you for reading and have an awesome day :)**


	59. The Birthday, Part 1

**A/N: Hi, guys! Thanks for the reviews! One note, Hyde is technically five, since he turned five sometime in winter and that was a few months ago. Wow. I've been writing this for around two years and we've gone, like, 5 months :P Thanks for sticking with me. You rock. **

The morning of his birthday, Hyde woke up before sunrise to make sure no one was up. He knew that if anyone in the house saw what he was after, they'd intervene in what he was about to do. All he wanted was a knife from the kitchen. He'd been using them for years, he could handle a simple steak knife.

He crept quietly upstairs, without even bothering to get dressed first, intending to catch a few more hours of sleep after the deed was done. Luckily for him, he had planned well, and the kitchen was empty. He opened the cutlery drawer and selected a small, but very sharp knife, then retreated back to his bedroom in the basement. He was back asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

><p>Hyde woke up to a still quiet house. That was fine with him; he liked having a while to himself before Foreman and his parents got up. Or Laurie, but she was usually in God-knows-whose-bed with some dude in the morning. He knew it was going to be a long day; he was the first one up, and planned on staying up as late as he could. That would probably involve sugar and caffeine, which was more than fine by him.<p>

Once out of bed, Hyde threw on a pair of jeans and a black shirt (both of which were getting sort of short, now that he thought about it,) and headed to the main room of the basement. He took a seat on the sofa, turned on the television, and started flipping through channels. Not long after he had settled on Charlie's Angles did he start to zone out. He knew that as soon as Kitty got up and the gang came around, the peace would be broken.

He was fully absorbed in the next episode of the show when Forman came down half an hour later.

"Hey, Hyde."

"Forman," Hyde greeted with a nod of the head, not even taking his eyes off of the screen.

"Happy birthday, man."

"Thanks."

After a minute of silence, Forman asked "have any ideas for today?"

Hyde cocked his eyebrows, thinking _what do you think? _Instead of speaking out loud, he merely shrugged. Beyond the caffeine and sugar binging, and his plan for Kelso, he hadn't made any plans of things he wanted to do today. "Kitty's making a cake," he said after a while.

"Ah, yes. Let's spend the whole day eating cake."

"Cool, Fez will be happy."

Eric laughed. "Yeah. Maybe we'll go to the Hub. Or that new pizza place."

"Man, who cares about the pizza place?" They didn't go to restaurant for food; that wasn't the point. The Hub was just…their place. Like the basement was.

Eric put up his hands in surrender. "Okay, fine, no pizza place. Uh-" Eric struggled to change the topic. "I got you an awesome present."

"Thanks, man," Hyde answered, even though he didn't know what the so-called "awesome present" was just yet.

"It's pretty cool, Hyde."

"Okay, Foreplay, I get it. Cool."

Before Eric had time to think of a response, Laurie had sauntered down the stairs. "Morning, losers."

"Morning, Satan," both boys said at the same time. They looked at each other and grinned.

"Oh, ha ha, that's a new one. What else? I'm a whore? A bitch?"

"Yes," Eric said with a smirk.

Laurie rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Mom just sent me down to say breakfast is ready."

Breakfast, the boys soon learned, was an understatement. Upstairs, they were greeted by a regular _feast _of breakfast food.

"Wow, Mrs. Forman…" Hyde marveled as he sat down to a plate of waffles.

"Yeah," Eric said taking a seat, "you'd almost think it was a special occasion or something."

Kitty set down a jug of orange juice on the table and lit up at her son's statement. "Well of course it is! Birthdays are very special!" Hyde shrugged, but she could see the smile he was trying to conceal.

"Thanks, Mrs. Forman," the boy finally said before the family began to eat the plentiful spread.

Kitty smiled. "My pleasure."

"You did a great job, sweetheart," he said to his wife, and then to his daughter, "pass me the butter, Kitten," Laurie obliged as the sound of Kelso's voice grew outside. "Oh, great," Red groaned, "just what this morning needed."

After Kelso opened the door and threw his school bag onto the counter, he started to wish Hyde a happy birthday before noticing all the food. "Awe, sweet," the mop-head exclaimed. Within twenty seconds, he had grabbed himself a plate, three waffles topped with a lake of syrup, a handful of bacon strips, and a biscuit.

With food shoved in his mouth, Kelso took a seat at the kitchen counter. "So Hyde," he said with bits of bacon tumbling out of his mouth, "big day today, huh?"

"Not as big as your mouth. _Man_, Kelso."

Kelso shrugged. "I like food."

"We _know_," Red muttered.

"Well, the more the merrier," Kitty said (not entirely convincingly) as she gestured at Kelso. She wouldn't want anyone to go without breakfast, but sometimes it was nice to be with just her family. Or, from Red's perspective, to not have to pay for any people to eat who didn't live in their house.

The conversation turned to small talk until Red excused himself to leave for work, which is when Laurie started twirling her hair. "You know, Kelso, I really like your hair today."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's so…rugged."

"Well, look at the time!" Eric jumped up from his seat. "C'mon, Kelso, we have to leave for school."

Kelso looked up at the clock on the wall. "Nuh uh, we don't have to leave for another-"

"That clock's broken. Come on, let's go. Bye mom, bye Hyde, happy birthday," Eric said in a rush as he grabbed Kelso's sleeve and pushed him towards the door.

"Yeah, bye Hyde, bye Mrs-" Kelso didn't get a chance to finish before Eric had slammed the door.

Laurie scoffed. "Geez, talk about an overreaction."

"Well…I just…can you blame him?" The girl's mother asked in a disappointed tone.

Laurie shrugged and slumped into her chair. "I was bored. Plus it was worth it to see Erica squirm."

"You know what," Kitty said as she moved to put the dishes into the sink, "I think it's time for a birthday present. Doesn't that sound nice?" She ended with her signature nervous laughter.

"Sure, Mrs. Forman," Hyde said, pleased to help the woman escape the previous topic.

The oldest and youngest member of the trio made their way into the living room, where Hyde waited until Kitty returned with several wrapped gifts. "I was going to wait until tonight to give these to you, but now is just as good of a time as then." She passed him the first gift and he accepted it, hoping she hadn't spent too much money on him. The first turned out to be a new Led Zeppelin shirt, much to his delight. "Wow, thanks, Mrs. Forman," he smiled gratefully, though he would appreciate anything his mother-figure got him. The others turned out to all be some sort of clothing, making him chuckle, reminding him of last Christmas when Eric had gotten all clothes and been disappointed.

"But don't worry," Kitty said, probably thinking of the same thing, "there's one or two others that I'll give you later on that aren't clothes. I just was thinking that it had been a while since you'd gotten anything new, and it might be nice-"

"It is," he cut her off. "Thank you." She smiled, and a few minutes later, he went into his room to change into one of the new outfits. He adjusted the shirt and smirked, pleased with the better fit of the new clothes. Besides, it was an Eric Clapton shirt, which couldn't have been easy to find in that size.

"I like it," Laurie said when he had joined her upstairs a while later, "kindergarten Clapton."

Hyde sat down next to her on the sofa. "Why are you hanging around, Laurie?"

"Because…wait, no whore joke? No 'are all the guys you want to do it with in class today?'"

"Figured it went without saying."

"Hmm." Laurie considered this. "Anyway, I've got nothing better to do. This is still my house, you know."

Hyde looked at her as a cocky grin grew on his face. "You stayed because it's my birthday, didn't you?"

"No."

"Yeah. Sure."

"What do I care if your turning five or sixteen? Or seventeen, or…whatever."

Hyde leaned back into the cushions, satisfied. "Whatever you say, man."

"Oh, shut up," his sister sneered.

"Alright, man. I'm just saying." Hyde turned on the TV, and the two siblings sat quietly watching the screen for a moment.

"Hyde?"

"Yeah, Laurie?"

"Happy birthday, freak."

"Thanks, Laurie."

**A/N: And cut! So, this is already longer than a normal chapter, so I suppose I'll save the rest for chapter 60. I normally do some big, dramatic event for each tenth chapter, but this one is going to be lighter. But, I have the next story arch planned. And the past few chapters and the ones after this are all going to tie into something…Anyway, I know one of you requested a Hyde/Laurie scene (and some Hyde/Jackie interaction, which will happen next chapter when the gang gets home from school). I hope I didn't disappoint. Thank you all SO MUCH for all of the great reviews I've been getting lately. You're fantastic. Until next time, please review, and I can't wait to share the next few chapters with you guys.**

**Wait, one last thing-I just realized you're probably concerned about the knife from the beginning. The thing that that correlates to was supposed to go in this chapter but got bumped…it's not anything dangerous, I swear. Ha :P Well…I'm just going to awkwardly end this note now…Thanks for reading!**


	60. The Birthday, Part 2

Hyde leaned over the edge of his bed to grab the cards he'd stashed underneath earlier. As he got a hold of the first one, he pulled himself back up and made himself comfortable. It was the one Brad had made him- "Happy birthday Steve" written sloppily on the front, random pictures and the phrase "you are cool" on the inside. On first glance, Hyde had scoffed at the thing, but now he gave it a better look. Sure, the kid was gullible, sometimes annoying, and didn't know how to aim a punch, but he was good intentioned. Though Hyde didn't want to admit it, he didn't exactly dislike Brad Kelso.

"Hey, Hyde! You down here?"

As soon as Eric's voice was heard, Hyde stood up, haphazardly shoved the card under his bed, and walked to the main room of the basement.

"Happy-" Eric said, drawing out the word until Kelso, Fez, and Donna joined him, "birthday!"

"Thanks," he said, laughing at Eric's effort to coordinate the gang.

"How does it feel to be another year older?" Eric prodded.

The birthday boy quipped "I feel six feet tall."

"Yes," Fez added, "just think: in just a few years you'll be able to drink legally!" He shouldn't have been surprised when Hyde got up and frogged him in the leg for that.

"Just think; if I was Red, in just a few seconds my foot would have been up your ass," Hyde responded when Fez seemed hurt.

Donna stepped between the boys and shepherded the whole group to the center of the room. "Okay, Hyde, no grumbling on your birthday. C'mon, where's that famous Steven Hyde smile?" A comment so sarcastic it actually managed to make Hyde laugh.

"Alright, fine," Hyde gave up. "No sarcasm for the day, only sunshine and rainbows and baby birds singing."

"But Hyde, that was sarcas-"

"I know. It's called a joke. Lighten up, will ya." With that, everyone who hadn't already took a seat in their usual spots. Hyde, knowing he wouldn't be called out today, ordered his adoptive brother to put on the show with the skimpiest outfitted girls. For a second, everything felt right. Normal. How it used to be. _Awesome_.

As much as Hyde was sure Fez was enjoying the show, he wasn't surprised at all when the man's mind wondered to something else. "Um, Hyde…"

"What, Fez."

"Miss Kitty is making a cake, yes?"

"Yeah. Of course, it's _Kitty_."

Fez seemed slightly relieved. "But…you did not happen to ask for other birthday treats, did you? Such as cookies, or…"

"Or brownies! Ooh, or the kind with the cream cheese stuff on top!" Kelso cut in. The pair was, of course, upset when Hyde told them that he hadn't. Secretly, everyone in the gang was a bit disappointed that they wouldn't be getting more of Kitty's wonderful baking, but they quickly got over it.

"So, man, do you want you present now, or…?"

Hyde pretended to consider his answer. "Go ahead, Kitty already gave me some."

Eric's face lit up. "Alright, cool." Happy with his adopted brother's answer, Eric stood up and walked to stairs, which he quickly jogged up. He reappeared a moment later, holding a red stop sign.

"A stop sign?"

Donna explained how they had stolen it, in order to make sure it met his standards of cool. Hyde praised them on getting the sign, adding "It's pretty cool, man. Thanks."

"Oh, wait!" Kelso picked up a box with wrapping paper taped haphazardly over the top. "Open mine."

Hyde gave Kelso a look that read "are you serious?" He looked once more at the presentation before punching a hole through the tarp of gift wrap. Looking inside the box, he couldn't say he was exactly surprised to see Rock'em Sock'em Robots. Hyde took the present out of the box and looked it over. "This Brad's?"

"No! It's mine. This was my favorite game."

Jackie made a displeased face. "What do you mean _was? _Michael, I saw you playing this game last week with Fez."

Kelso, caught red-handed, looked down, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Yeah, fine, so I still love it." There was a pause. "Actually, can I have that back?"

"Sure, Kelso."

"Thanks. But, uh, I'll definitely let you play a round against me."

"Nah, man, it's cool."

"You sure, cause it's really awe-"

"_Kids, cake is ready!" _Kitty's voice interrupted from upstairs.

"_Okay, Mom, be right up!" _Eric yelled back. The kids gradually got themselves out of their respective seats and wandered towards the stairs: well, all of them but Hyde.

"You guys go ahead. I'll catch up." The others shrugged and started to make their way to the kitchen. "Hey Kelso. Hold up."

Kelso, at the end of the line, groaned but obliged and followed Hyde. "Fine, just make it quick, I wanna get to the cake before Fez eats it all."

"Shut up," Hyde commanded. Kelso mimed zipping his lips as they proceeded to the former's bedroom. Once in the small room, Hyde stood on his bed to retrieve the teddy bear Laurie had given him at Christmas.

"Ha, you have a teddy bear."

"You play Rock'em Sock'em Robots."

"But that game is awesome!"

"So is this." Hyde pulled the kitchen knife from it's hiding place under a chair and stabbed the bear's back.

"Ah!" Kelso squealed in surprise and betrayal on the bear's behalf. Hyde shook his head at his older friend, and started carefully sawing the knife down a row of stitches on the bear's back. Once the bear has been dissected, Hyde plunged his hand inside and retrieved a plastic bag-the last of his old stash.

"Here," he said, tossing the bag to Kelso.

Kelso, amazed, turned the bag around in his hands. "Awe, man! Thanks, Hyde!"

"Sure, just-keep quiet about it, okay? Don't want Red or Kitty finding out. Or Eric."

"Yeah…why aren't you giving it to Eric?"

"You're more entertaining when you're high. Plus, I figured you could use some better stuff after Christmas."

"Are you still mad about that?"

Hyde shrugged. "Whatever. It was a while ago, man. Enjoy the stash."

"Thanks. This will go great with cake."

"Don't mention it. And I mean that literally." Hyde hoped Kelso knew what 'literally' meant.

Kelso gave a thumbs up. "Got it. Now let's eat cake!"

**A/N: Yup, I totally referenced an episode. Not sure what season they gave him the stop sign, but of well. So sorry this took **_**forever**_**. I go have good excuses, I promise. This has been the busiest year of my life. I'll continue being busy until summer, but I'll keep updating. On the bright side, I have the next chapter planned out because this was going to be longer, but I cut it off before I had planned so. Yay? Oh, and 60****th**** chapter! Yes, yay! Let's ALL go eat cake ****:)**** Thanks for your patience, guys. Wish I had more time to work on this but I'll do what I , and thank you SO MUCH for all of your reviews.  
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	61. Brownies

**A/N: So I screwed up Hyde's gift last chapter and had them give him the wrong sign, but oh well. And I need to go correct ages because I said it was his 16****th**** birthday I think, but he's BEEN 16...well…technically-since the start. So I'll edit that. Man, I guess that's what happens when I go too long without skimming old chapters (which I recently did). **

It had been a long, pleasant day. The cake was awesome, his presents were sweet, and everyone seemed to be having a good time, even the cheerleader. Hyde really wasn't a party person, but this was barely a party. It was everyone he normally hung out with, plus Red and Kitty, eating cake. No crazy decorations or piñatas. If they had to celebrate birthdays, this was a happy medium.

After dinner and cake, everyone had dispersed around the house: the kids to the basement, Red to the living room, and Kitty to the master bedroom. Hyde was now standing in the kitchen, having come up to refill his drink. He'd had a thought hanging over him all day: Edna. She _was_ his mom, even if she hadn't been a very good one. And, as her son, he thought they should maybe talk on his birthday. Maybe she would want to wish him happy birthday.

He set his cup on the floor and walked over to the phone. He stood there for a good two minutes before he moved. The more he thought, the more he hesitated to call. Why should he call her today? It should be the other way around. If she didn't care enough to check in on him on his birthday (if she even remembered it was his birthday), that was cool. He wouldn't bother her.

Hyde picked up his cup and returned to the basement, the phone untouched.

* * *

><p>The next Monday, Kitty was very excited. One of her friends had told her that the high school was having a bake sale! She wasn't sure why Eric hadn't told her; he must have known for at least a week. Oh well, she knew now, and she wasn't going to let her baking talents go to waste.<p>

"Steven!" she called happily, and waited for the boy to come into the kitchen. He looked tired, or maybe bored, but she would fix that! "Steven, I was wondering if you could help me." Well, that got his attention. "I have to bake some dishes for the school's bake sale, and I could really use a sous-chef. And you can lick the bowl when we finish!"

The boy smiled, always glad to help Kitty. "Sure, Mrs. Forman."

"Well, good! This will be fun! I already have some cookies in the oven, including peanut butter ones. I know those are one of your favorites. But I thought I could use a little extra help on the brownies. Then we can bring them all to the bake sale tonight. Now doesn't that sound like a nice day?"

"Sounds cool."

Kitty pulled out all the ingredients needed for brownies, several bowls, and a glass pan. The kitchen table and counter were soon completely covered. "Oh, I almost forgot!" Kitty grabbed an apron from the counter and put it on Hyde. It fit him well enough, and was plain black. It would suit him just fine.

Kitty measured all of the wet ingredients first, and the bowl was then handed to Hyde to stir while Kitty started on the dry ingredients.

"So what is this bake sale for, Mrs. Forman?"

"It's to raise money for the school's free lunch program for students in need. I think it's just wonderful."

"Yeah," he agreed absentmindedly as he kicked up a cloud of flour, which then clung to his apron and sleeves.

"And that is why we wear aprons," she chuckled, stirring the wet ingredients together as she spoke. She slowly mixed in the dry ingredients and soon it started to look like recognizable brownie batter. Kitty walked with the bowl to the table, where she had set the pan to keep it out of the way. She then brought over some butter and began to grease the pan. Next, she started pouring the batter into the pan, and was about halfway finished when the door bell rang. "Now I wonder who that could be…" The bowl was set on the table, hands wiped on the apron, and then Kitty excused herself to check the front door.

Hyde, deciding to play the assistant role, lifted the bowl and managed to pour a small amount in before he dropped the bowl into the pan. He pulled the bowl back out, but the side was now covered in batter. Obviously, the only option was to destroy the evidence by wiping the gooey deliciousness off with his hands and eating it. And then licking the side of the bowl. And then eating some of the batter that had managed to stay in the bowl for good measure.

By the time Kitty returned, the outside of the bowl was slobbery but free of brownie batter; Hyde, however, was not. "Well, I did say you could lick the bowl…" she laughed awkwardly. She was initially confused, and then the mother overtook the baker in her and she went back for her camera. Batter was splattered on most of his face: cheeks, chin, nose. "It looks almost like a beard-a very messy beard." Hyde nodded contentedly. He'd always thought he would look good with a beard. "Smile!"

Hyde humored her with a smirk. "I'll help with dishes," he promised as a sort of apology for the mess.

"Good. That's part of being sous-chef. Now why don't you go wash up? In the meantime I'll-I'll put these in the oven and start putting things away."

"Cool." Kitty held the basement door open for him so he wouldn't get the doorknob dirty. He walked down to his room, licking his hands clean before he picked up a clean shirt. Still in his room, he heard a door slam and went to the main room to investigate.

"Laurie," he said casually, paying her little attention before moving for the stairs.

"Orph- ew, what's with your face?"

"Brownies."

"Idiot, you're not supposed to eat the batter raw."

"Yeah, well, fight the power and all that," he said, trying to brush her off.

She leaned down to stare at him condescendingly. "You could get tape worms, you know."

He pivoted to fully face her. "Raw eggs give you _salmonella_, Laurie, not tape worms." He crossed his arms, satisfied with himself, before he realized what he said. "Oh."

"Great, then you'll get both!" She chirped happily.

"Well, guess I'm screwed," he said, not sounding more sarcastic than concerned. He wiped some brownie from his face with his free hand and tapped his sister's cheek, ruining her makeup. "Good tip, Lor."

"I have a date tonight!"

"Have fun." He strolled upstairs, ignoring Laurie's shout of "have fun hugging the toilet all night, orphan!"

**A/N: I have the next chapter totally planned out and I'm super excited for it. And because I'm excited to write it, it will be up as soon as I can get it all written down. You'll all like next chapter. There will be several unexpected (I hope) events in it. Until then, remember to give some feedback! I hope y'all liked this chapter ****:)**** The next will be up very soon.**


	62. The Bake Sale

**A/N: AND THE BROWNIE SAGA CONTINUES. When I was planning this, I did not think if would take multiple chapters…but oh well! Thanks everyone for reviewing, and guest reviewer dmc fanboy, thank you so much for the suggestions! I love when you guys give me suggestions. I'll be sure to include some of those things.**** It's funny you say you think Hyde hasn't been humiliated enough, because sometimes I feel like I embarrass him **_**too**_** much. Ha. **

As soon as he heard footsteps, Hyde quit his doubled over posture and hastily threw himself into a casual position. "Hey," he said, not meeting his friends' eyes.

"Hey," Donna, in the front of the line replied. "You okay?"

"Fine."

"Really, cause you look sort of pale…and twitchy."

"Yeah," Jackie chimed in, setting her purse on the table, "like Forman."

Hyde shook his head. "Nah, man, I'm just thinking about something Laurie said."

"Dude," Kelso interjected, "there's your problem, Hyde! You think too much."

"Yeah!" Eric said. "We should all aspire to be as more like Kelso."

"Right?!" Kelso smiled.

Laurie's heels came slithering downstairs. "Hey, dorks, we're having an early dinner before that bake-athon lame fest." Her tone shifted. "Hey, Hyde, how you feeling?"

"A lot better before you showed up."

"Just wait a few hours." She smiled vilely and retreated upstairs.

Donna tilted her head. "Okay, there is _definitely _something going on between you two."

Eric asked "yeah, she didn't poison you, did she?"

"No. Everything is peachy, okay? Just drop it."

After Red had shooed away Jackie, Fez, and Kelso, the Forman family and Donna settled in at the dining room table. Hyde had put on a baggy jacket before he left the basement, and his hands were now shoved deep in the pockets, his shoulders turned inwards as he discretely (or not so discretely) hugged his waist.

"Steven, sweetheart, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, Hyde," Laurie added, "don't you like quiche?"

All eyes were on him now. "Of course I do. I'm simply decreasing my portion in display of solidarity with the hungry Vikings. Or have you forgotten that tonight is the fund raiser for the poor, underfed students of Point Place?"

"I guess Laurie just doesn't care about all the starving kids," Eric chimed in.

Hyde nodded. "Come on man, have some sympathy."

Kitty tried to ignore the last exchange, but she liked Hyde's explanation. "Well I think that that is very sweet of you to do, Steven."

"I think," Red added, pointing a fork at Hyde, "that since you are lucky enough to not be one of those starving kids, you should shut your trap and be grateful you have food. Now eat." Hyde drew lines in his food with a knife. "Now don't play with the damn food, Steven," Red groaned. Hyde silently ate a bite of quiche while Laurie snickered.

"Okay, seriously," Forman broke in, "what did she do to you?"

"Nothing. Man, it's like you're all paranoid or something!"

"Yeah," Donna chuckled, "_we're _the paranoid ones."

"There," Kitty said, the brownies and cookies laid on her designated table in the school gym. "Oh! And here!" She handed Eric and Hyde a folded up bill and sent them off to explore the other tables.

"Wow, a whole dollar!" Hyde said with a smile. "Gee, Forman, how many lunches do you think this will buy?"

"I don't know, Hyde, but I'm just proud to pitch in however I can."

"Okay, smart asses," Donna said, "where to first?"

Hyde spotted a table selling coffee. "I know where I'm going."

"Good luck with that, pal."

Hyde ignored his brother and headed over to the booth. "One coffee, please," he said to the high school girl running it, "and a dollar for your troubles."

She looked down at him from behind the counter. "I can't sell coffee to a little kid unless I know your mom said yes."

"What if I told you I don't have a mom?"

"Nice try. Next please!"

"C'mon, you have something against orphans?!"

Eric sauntered up to Hyde. "Ooh, rejected by a cheerleader. That must be embarrassing."

"You want to know something more awkward? I made out with that chick once." Eric's eyes widened, and Hyde shoved his dollar at him. "Hey, I'm a catch. Now go buy me a coffee." Eric, still speechless, walked away to get the coffee, and Hyde rejoined Donna.

Donna held out a brownie. "Hey, Hyde, you've got to taste this, it's amazing."

Hyde shook his head. "No thanks, man." Donna gave him a suspicious stare.

"You guys won't believe this," Forman said, racing towards them, "Alice told me _I _was too young to buy coffee. Me!"

Hyde laughed, cherishing this burn. "Now who's embarrassed?"

"Hyde, give me your dollar, I'll go buy it," Donna insisted. "Enough is enough, we're buying this stupid drink."

Hyde gestured to Forman to hand Donna his dollar. As much as he relished Forman getting burned, he still wanted coffee. "You go to third base with a girl behind the bleachers, and then she won't even sell you coffee," he said once Donna had left. "Man, I don't know what's wrong with her; she had no problem giving out anything to me last year. "

"Okay, Hyde…" Eric shifted his weight. "As your friend, way to go." He gave a thumbs up with a grin. "But as your brother, I never want to picture that ever again."

"I never told you to picture it, you perv."

The boys were still squabbling over Hyde and Alice when Donna returned with coffee. "I can't believe," Donna said, "Alice's store bought coffee crap has a longer line than Kitty's homemade stuff."

The two boys looked at their mother's stand, which had a measly three people in line. "Yeah," Eric said, thinking. "She should have, like, the whole gym in line for her stuff."

Hyde poked Forman and took off his sunglasses. "Hey," he said loudly, in a manner that sounded rehearsed, "you know who has the best desserts? That Kitty Forman."

"Ah, and what a humanitarian," Forman joined in with a smile. "Who else cares as much about underfed children? I know I don't. And Alice Banks sure doesn't."

Hyde frogged Forman for that last bit, but continued the promo. "You're sure right. And I would know. I _was_ an underprivileged, underfed child before she took me off the streets and fed me. What a great woman."

"Yeah. And her food is awesome. I would pay upwards of-" he shrugged with a smirk, "like, five dollars per brownie. Which is saying a lot because I can get it for free anytime I want."

"And it won't give you food poisoning or anything. Because _she cares._"

"She sure does," Forman agreed.

"Hey, I have an idea," Hyde announced loudly, "let's go buy more from _her _stand!"

"But we better be quick," added Forman, "because she'll probably sell out soon."

Donna watched as people went to Kitty's line throughout the little exchange. "I can't believe that actually worked."

"Please, Donna," Forman scoffed, "we're professionals."

**A/N: And thus concludes part 2 of the brownie saga. 1 more part. I'm pretty sure you won't see it coming. But I better stop alluding to the thing. I have an idea for the chapter after that (will involve some Hyde/ Forman/Kitty interactions), and as always, feel free to make suggestions. I hope you're enjoying the story! Thanks for reading.**


	63. Reverse Psychology

**A/N: Since dmc doesn't have an account I can message, I'll reply here. Kinda applies to everyone too. Dude, I'm glad someone knows the month. I knew that he was 5 years something months, (and was afraid this wouldn't be clear so I'm glad to address this here) but I figured I'd let him lie on his birthday and say 6, since I didn't age him down by an exact multiple of twelve months. And YESSSSS I've-ok, I must resist spoiling. You'll see what I did by the end of this chapter }:)**

"Aha! I sold more goodies than anyone else at the bake sale! Take that Mrs. Tyler!" Kitty was almost manic with happiness as she and the kids walked out of the school.

"Yeah, raising all that money for charity must feel really good, huh Mrs. Forman?" Donna asked.

"What? Oh. Oh, charity." She did her signature laugh. "That's right, this is about helping others, not winning…but boy, does it feel good to win!"

* * *

><p>Hyde didn't even look up from his curled position on the living room sofa as Fez sat next to him. "I don't know how you do it, Fez."<p>

"Do what?"

"Eat junk food like there's no tomorrow, man!"

Fez lowered the potato chip he had been about to eat. "I do not know what you are talking about…" he said, his voice very clearly portraying that he did know.

Laurie smiled as she heard this exchange from the top of the stairs. She had actually gotten to the Zen Master! It was almost too easy. She went down the stairs just enough to peek at the boys. She couldn't see the orphan, but she could see his aviator sunglasses resting on the arm of Red's chair.

"Maybe it is all in your head," she heard Fez suggest.

"Yeah, and soon it'll be all over the floor." For a split second, Laurie felt guilty. But _only_ for a split second. If the orphan was sick it was his own fault, but people ate brownie batter all the time and never got sick. He was probably fine. Feeling powerful, Laurie strutted down the stairs (in a pair of beautiful, expensive new shoes she had convinced her date to buy her earlier). "Would you look at that," she began, pausing mid sentence when she heard a gag, followed by Hyde shoving his foreign friend out of the way and barreling towards the stairs, cheeks puffed out. He stopped just short of running into Laurie, who looked down just in time to watch him puke all over her brand new shoes.

Hyde grabbed the railing with a shaky hand, declared "worth it," and ran around Laurie to rush up the stairs. The slammed the door, but not before hearing her shriek.

Fez waited a second, then uncovered his ears. "Aye, Laurie, I think I am deaf."

"I am going to kill him," Laurie said, staring at her feet.

"What did you say?" Fez laughed at his own joke when Laurie didn't. Though he didn't appreciate his joke being ignored, watching Laurie's chest heave in anger was a nice consolation. He thought he was beautiful when she was angry.

Laurie knew two things: she was not cleaning this up herself, and that little brat was not getting away with this. "DADDY!"

* * *

><p>Forman could not contain his excitement as he flew down the stairs into the basement, Donna following quickly behind. "Hyde, tell me it's true?"<p>

"It's true," Hyde said flatly. "Alice and I are eloping."

Forman stood in front of the television to get his friend's attention. "Hyde, this is serious business. Did you really puke on Laurie's shoes, and if you did, why wasn't I invited?"

Fez and Hyde shared a smirk from across the room. "Nah," Hyde said, "Laurie _thinks_ I puked on her shoes."

"Uh huh," Donna said, unconvinced. "And that carpet stain is a figment of everyone's imagination."

"It's soup," he said. "Oatmeal and chunky soup without the noodles." Hyde had made sure to lie low enough that Laurie wouldn't be able to see him, or the concealed bowl, so that he could fill his mouth with as much "puke" as possible while she came down the stairs.

Fez nodded. "Yes, we made it while you two were locking lips in the Vista Cruiser."

"Wait, Fez was in on it?"

"Nothin' personal, Forman. Kelso's stupid, Jackie's a loudmouth, and you can't lie to save your ass, so Donna was out by association. Ergo, Fez."

Fez looked offended. "Oh what, so I was chosen by default? I thought we had something special, you bastard." Hyde shrugged.

"Wait, so all night when you've been freaking about food, you were playing us the whole time?"

"Yup."

"Let me get this straight," Donna said, "you faked all of it? You weren't sick at all?"

"Nope."

"But I saw you doubled over when we came downstairs!"

"I thought you were Laurie."

Eric nodded. "But then you couldn't let us in on it, because the better our reactions, the more Laurie would believe it."

"And so you wouldn't ruin it. We gotta teach you the art of lying one day, Foreplay."

"Hyde…you're an evil genius."

Hyde smiled. "I do what I can."

Eric finally took a seat on the sofa with Donna. "So are you ever going to tell her it was fake?"

"Nah. If she thinks she's in my head she can figure it out herself."

Fez lifted a bowl from the floor. "We covered our tracks well. She did not even see me take this downstairs." He lifted a spoon and took a sip of the fake vomit. "Really, it is not half bad."

The other three made disgusted faces. Hyde shook his head slowly.

"Hey, Hyde, if you ever get the urge to puke on my sister again, for real or not, let me know so I can buy front row tickets."

Hyde looked at the bowl. "How mad do you think she'd be if we dumped the rest of that in her closet?"

Eric grinned. "I don't know, but I think we should find out."

"I'll lead the way!" Fez jumped up.

**A/N: And thus concludes the brownie saga. Were you guys fooled? I bet you were. That was a fun story arch. I hope you thought so too.  
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	64. Shots

**A/N: Hi. I know, I know, I've been gone forever. I have many legitimate excuses, but I also just procrastinated, as I do. My bad. I'm sorry. Life has been and will continue to be really busy for me, and as I've said before, this sort of takes a backseat to my original writing. But, I have not abandoned this, and I want to bring my other long term story out of hiatus soon. So anyways, this chapter is a tiny bit disjointed and maybe not very eventful-well that's not true, it just doesn't have the gang in it. Enjoy!  
><strong>

"Well, I was going to make some nice, healthy oatmeal for breakfast, but I just can't find it anywhere," Kitty sighed. "Now just where would it go? I bought some two days ago!" Suddenly she turned around and gasped. Hyde paused mid-action. "Did somebody in this house decide to have a healthy snack for once? Oh, I can't believe it!" Kitty giggled happily.

"Yeah," Hyde agreed, "unbelievable."

"I can't imagine where it could have gone," Eric said with a know-it-all smirk.

Red peered out from behind the newspaper he was holding. The dumb asses were up to something. Or at least they thought they were. He couldn't imagine them doing anything very creative with oatmeal. He imagined them eating it hastily in his basement, priding themselves for obtaining it so sneakily. Idiots. In his day, Red had pulled off some pranks that would put these kids to shame. Why? Because he was smarter than them.

"Oh my god," Hyde mock-whispered to Eric, "Red's smiling."

"But the apocalypse isn't due for decades."

"Would you two _shut up_?" Red asked, though it was really more of a command.

Kitty took a deep breath and put her hands on her hips. "Well, I guess we are just going to have to have something else for breakfast! How do…how do pancakes sound?"

Red smiled. "Great."

Laurie shot her adopted brother the evil eye. "Unless it makes somebody sick again."

A stormy look flashed across Kitty's face like lightening: brief, but hard to miss. "You're right. I almost poisoned one of my babies with a recipe I've made ten thousand times, who's to say I won't do it again?" She sounded so dejected, Hyde almost told her right then that the whole brownie debacle was a fake. _Almost. _

Red sighed. "Oh, Kitty-"

"Mrs. Forman, I'm fine. And it wasn't your fault." Both technically true.

"I gave you food poisoning!"

Hyde averted his eyes. Yeah, he felt guilty that he was making Kitty question her cooking and/or mothering abilities, but he didn't feel like talking about his recent sickness, fake or not. "Laurie was right," he said, continuing the gag to help him get through this meal. "My fault. Shouldn't have eaten raw batter." He gave her a look that he hoped said "I am a stupid, pitiful child, but I am trying to act like I don't give a shit." Which is the look he probably would be giving if it had not been a prank. That and "I'm blaming myself so your parents will condole me and like me more than they like you."

"You owe me new shoes," Laurie hissed under her breath.

"Yeah, sure," he whispered back, "soon as my next paycheck hits."

"You know what," Kitty, who had apparently been having a debate with herself, burst in. "We're having cereal. I'm sorry, but that's what we're going to do!"

She was grateful to have the house (mostly) to herself an hour later. Eric was at school, Red was at work, and Laurie was…well, it was morning so Laurie probably wasn't in trouble yet. Steven, however, was practically pining for something to do. Or so she imagined. "Steven, sweetheart, I was wondering if you would want to come to work with me today."

Hyde looked at her quizzically. "No offense, Mrs. Forman, but what's the catch?"

"No catch! I just thought that while we were there we could get you up to date on some shots."

Ah. His manufactured health scare had inspired a real one. Damn it, he was too good at pranks. But really, what was the harm? "Sure." He shrugged.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean. I'll have to check my schedule, but I think I'm free today."

Kitty chuckled and picked up her purse. "Well, good."

* * *

><p>Jodi jumped up, nearly knocking over the bead toy she was playing with. "Stevie!"<p>

Hyde turned at the sound of his nickname, surprised, before spotting the little girl. "Oh. Hey."

"Stevie, Stevie, Stevie!" Jodi ran up to the boy and threw her arms around him. She didn't notice as he awkwardly tried to pry her off. "Are you sick? Do you need medicine? Ooh, do you want to play doctor?!"

Hyde took a step back. "Uh, nope. Just got some shots."

She admired the array of Spiderman Band-Aids on his arm. There were three. _Three_. "Did you cry?"

He scoffed. "No."

"Oh…" She looked at her mom, who was signing papers on a clipboard.

"Where's your sister?"

"She's with Daddy." Hyde wondered why parents would bring one twin without the other, especially since Jodi didn't look sick. He didn't care enough to press the issue, though.

"Steven?" Kitty called. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," he replied, then looked back at Jodi. "Duty calls."

"Wait! How do you not cry when you get shots?"

Hyde thought for a moment. The real answer wouldn't help her, so instead he answered "just pretend you're a superhero, like Wonder Woman. They probably get pinned under stuff and shot at all the time, but they keep fighting."

Jodi smiled. "Okay. Bye, Stevie."

"Bye, kid."

Kitty smiled as she as Steven walked down the hall. "You are just too sweet."

"What're you talkin' about?"

"I saw the way you talked to that little girl. You're very nice, in spite of yourself."

"Oh yeah," the boy answered, "I'm a saint."

* * *

><p>Two days later, Kitty still hadn't regained confidence in her cooking, and had just got to the grocery to get instant pasta.<p>

"You," Red growled, pointing at Hyde. "This is all your fault. You and those damn brownies. Listen, you've got to tell her something so she'll start cooking again."

Hyde took off his glasses and polished them with the hem of his shirt. "That wasn't even vomit. That was soup and oatmeal. I was pranking Laurie."

"That is so stupid…that it actually sounds like something you kettle heads would do. That's good. She might believe that." Red smiled, relieved.

Hyde nodded. So much for the truth. "Yeah. My pleasure, man."

**A/N: Somebody requested the coloring buddies a while back, so I threw in Jodi. I'll do the full mini gang soon, probably. I'll update again soon, and I hope you like this chapter. As always, requests/suggestions help me update faster.**


	65. Gotta Get Back

**A****/N: Check out the top of my page if you haven't already. Short version of what it says there: super delays due to uni. Also, whoever said they were going to send me a private message, I never got it, please resend? Thanks everyone for reviewing and bearing with the great update lag. Oh, I also realized that Hyde started working for Leo before the episode around when I placed the beginning of this. Oh well, I've screwed with the timing of other events. Maybe I'll work Leo in eventually.**

At the sound of a page turning, Eric looked at Hyde. "Hey, Hyde, what are you reading? You've been smiling at that thing for like an hour."

"Probably just looking at the pictures," Jackie said.

Hyde smirked. "Oh yeah." He let the hardcover book that had been covering the magazine drop. "It's Playboy."

Forman held out a hand. "Let me see." Once in his hands, he turned to the front cover. "Hello Miss March."

"Ugh, boys are pigs" Jackie sneered, just before Donna came through the door. Seeing his girlfriend, he threw the magazine back at Hyde. "Yes they are, Hyde, that is-that is wrong."

The redhead took a seat next to Eric. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Um-so how's your day?"

"It's Playboy," Hyde piped up. "Your boyfriend's a pervert."

"No, Hyde's lying, that's his."

"Man, trying to pin nudie mags on the kid. That's low, Forman."

Donna crossed her arms. "Whatever. Look, my dad's throwing a barbecue and you're all invited."

Fez clapped. "Oh goodie, free food. Will there be candy?"

Donna shrugged. "There'll be beer."

"Even better!"

Hyde asked "do I have to go?"

"You're invited," Donna said, confused.

"It's just that last time I saw Bob, he said-" Hyde cleared is throat and assumed his best Bob impression, "'Donna, is that your kid? That better not be your kid.' The guy's as sharp as a marshmallow. No offense."

"But dude," Kelso said, "free beer."

"Good point, I'll come."

"I'm not letting you drink at my dad's barbecue."

"Oh yeah, because _you're _legal."

"Hyde!"

"Donna, relax, I'm just messing with you. I will not drink," he droned, his voice tinged with annoyance, and held up a hand. "Scout's honor."

"Good. So Eric, what edition of Playboy are you sneaking?"

* * *

><p>Later that day, Hyde was eating a sandwich at the kitchen table when Laurie burst in from outside. Her eyes were red and she was clutching wrinkled tissues. "Oh, Hyde." She sniffled. "Don't you have a...an orphanage or something to be at?"<p>

"I hate to ask, but I'll bite. What's wrong?"

Laurie twisted the tissues in her hand, then collapsed into a chair.

"Oh, God," Hyde groaned. "It's serious, isn't it? Cause you know I don't care about emotional crap."

After a long, hesitant pause, Laurie spoke. "I think I'm pregnant."

"Oh, man." Hyde sighed. "I mean, we all saw it coming, but I never thought I'd actually see the day."

"I know! I always knew I shouldn't be so careless, but I never thought this would happen. I can't have a baby. I don't have a job, and I'm not maternal, and nobody wants to sleep with someone who has a kid."

"Hey, take it from me. They do and they will. Just ask my 'uncle' Robby. Or Ted. Or Ben. Or Harvey."

"Harvey Bond?"

"Yeah."

"He's pretty hot for having such a nerdy name."

"As repulsive as it is to think you and my mom did it with the same guy, I'll let it slide because I know you're upset. And you've probably done it with the rest of them, because let's face it, you've really painted the town red, if you catch my drift."

"You're not helping."

"I'm not good at saying the right thing. Ask anyone. Actually, you should probably talk to a girl about this. Donna, or Kitty, or...I'm pretty sure Jackie had a pregnancy scare once...oh, Laurie, please tell me that thing's not Kelso's."

"It's not."

"Good. Cause the world can't handle that much stupid and that much evil in one package. When Rosemary's baby has a baby, the world's gonna burn." Laurie let out a sob. "Crap," Hyde muttered, sounding remarkably like Red. "Look, Laurie. Whatever happens...things will be okay. Because even though your family thinks you're a two faced bitch, we ain't leaving you. And you're smart. You'll figure things out."

Laurie dabbed at her face with the tissue. "Gee, you really think so?"

"Yeah."

Laurie stood up and smiled, her voice suddenly sunny and saccharine. "Good, because I was messing with you the whole time."

"Wait, you mean you're not pregnant?"

"Nope."

"Then why the hell would you fake it?"

"Why would you pretend to be sick for a whole day and puke oatmeal on my shoes?" So she'd found out.

Hyde smiled. "Because it was funny." Laurie rolled her eyes. "You started it. You tried to make me think I was sick, you thought you were in my head, but you weren't!"

"I got in your head just now, orphan."

"I ruined your shoes. You annoyed me for a few minutes. I win."

"I win."

"I'll get in your head and you want even notice."

"Fine," Laurie said.

"Cool."

"Great."

"Awesome."

"It's on."

"Whatever."

"Are...are we done now?"

"Yeah. Now run along so I can eat my sandwich."

"I don't take orders from five year olds...I'm going to leave now, but it's not because you told me to."

"Yeah, yeah, go reapply your mascara," he brushed her off. She gave him an annoyed look, then went off to the living room.

All alone in the kitchen now, Hyde smirked to himself. "We're so not done."

**A/N: Sorry this has taken so long. I blame school essays. Anyways, someone requested more Laurie and Hyde interactions, so I'm starting a mind war. Next chapter (which I'm going to start writing as soon as I post this), expect Bob's barbecue, more of Hyde and Laurie messing with each other, and the gang just being pretty dumb in general. I hope you liked this chapter, next one will be up soon. As always, feel free to request anything you'd like to see, and leave a review if you want. Thanks for reading!**


	66. Operation: Why, Exactly?

**A/N: Thanks nannygirl and Guest for the review, and everyone who followed and favorited! It means a lot. I hope you like this chapter.**

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!"

It was too early for Forman to be so chipper. Couldn't he shut up for another hour? Or at least annoy someone else, some_where _else other than Hyde's room? Hyde rolled towards the wall and pressed his pillow around his ears, groaning in response. It was too early for real words.

"See, that's funny, because eggs and bacon are what we're having for breakfast." No response. "_Which_ you're going to miss if you don't get up in, like, the next five minutes."

"If you don't get out of my room in the next five seconds, you're dead," Hyde grumbled. For some reason (because he was a tool?) Forman flipped on the lights. Hyde scrambled for his sunglasses.

"Come on, finish nursing that hangover and get ready for Bob's barbecue."

"I don't have a hangover!" He shoved himself into a sitting position.

"I know, man, I'm just messing with you."

"Well knock it off and leave me alone or I'll kick you in the nads."

Forman smirked. "You're not tall enough."

Hyde stood on his bed. "Wanna bet?"

Forman took a step back and put his hands in front of his crotch. "Uh, pass."

Hyde pointed at the door. "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

"Alright, alright, I'm going." Forman put up his hands in surrender, then left. Once he was a safe distance into the next room, though, he grumbled loudly (for his brother's benefit), "God, you're so cranky when you're tired."

"Don't think I won't kick your ass," Hyde called back. Then a thought hit him...he hopped off the bed and trudged out the door. "Forman, wait."

"Come to make up? Apology accepted."

Hyde frogged him for that. "Shut up. Listen, Laurie and I are in the middle of this bizarre-o lying war, and I'm gonna enlist you."

"Uh..."

"I'm doing you a favor, man. If you don't learn to lie now, how are you ever going to be successful?"

"Can't argue with that logic." Forman grinned, ever the smartass. "So how do you win?"

"What?"

Forman spoke slowly. "How. Do. You. Win. The. Lying. War?"

Hyde tilted his head. "Huh. That's a good question...okay, so Laurie started it. She tried to get in my head, so I made it backfire on her, so then she pretended to be pregnant to make me show sympathy and ruin my reputation or something stupid like that. So now it's my turn."

"Yeah, you lost me. I-I still don't see the point."

Hyde though for a long moment. "I think we're trying to prove each other right about stuff, but then making it backfire? I don't know man, Laurie's the one who made it weird. The main thing is just to screw with each other."

"Well," Forman replied sarcastically, "since you're so sure of you're plan, I'll help out. What are you proving Laurie right about next?"

"Uh...I don't need to prove her right that I'm an orphan. What else is there?"

Forman shrugged. "She calls you 'shrimp' a lot."

"Perfect, I'll turn myself into shellfish," Hyde deadpanned, "and give her an allergic reaction."

"_Or, _you could act like an actual kid. And make that backfire somehow."

"Nah, I think I'll turn into a shrimp." He tried to think of what other stuff he could lie to Laurie about, but was coming up short. "Alright, _fine_. But I have a line, and if you think I'll cross it for the sake of a joke-"

"Then I'd be right."

"Probably. And I'll probably blame you for it later." Without giving time for Forman to respond, Hyde wandered back to his room. It had been a long night, and he was actually contemplating which he wanted more: food, or sleep. Eventually, he decided to get ready before another family member went all search-and-rescue on him. He slammed the door behind him, started rummaging through his dresser, changed into jeans and a baseball shirt, then trudged upstairs, ready to get the day over with so he could go back to sleep.

He was only slightly surprised to see not only his family, but Fez and Kelso in the kitchen. Red was missing, and so was the food, both of which he expected he had his friends to blame for.

"Well, good morning!" Kitty sang as Hyde took his seat at the table. "Don't you worry, more food is on the way. The bacon will be just another minute."

Kelso smiled. "Yeah, we kinda ate it all."

"Don't worry about it. The barbecue's soon, I'll just have a hotdog for breakfast. Like Laurie." He smiled at the girl.

Kitty looked at the boy, then looked back at the bacon. "Well, I am just going to pretend I didn't hear that." She giggled. "It's almost spring break, are you kids excited?"

Laurie perked up. "Yeah, one step closer to summer, and then senior year. Or, in Heidi's case, kindergarten."

Hyde rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I can't just pretend I'm home schooled and skip the whole damn thing. I already know everything I was going to learn in school."

"Oh yeah?" Laurie said, "then what's six plus eight?"

Hyde stared ahead and scrunched his eyebrows, then looked at Forman. "Ah...what's-"

"Or three times four. And no using your fingers to count."

"I wasn't even looking at my hand."

"Then go on. If you know everything you're ever going to learn, what's the square root of twenty five?"

"Oh, like you know."

"I'm asking _you, _shrimp."

"Yeah, Hyde, what's...what's two plus, uh..." Kelso grabbed a piece of bacon, then recoiled. "Ow! Damn, that's hot!"

Fez shook his head at Kelso. "Hyde, please tell me you can do better math than Kelso."

"Final offer-" Laurie said, getting cut off by Kitty.

"Oh, leave Steven alone, Laurie."

"No, it's okay, Mrs. Forman. Go ahead, Laurie."

"Four plus seven plus one."

Hyde looked slowly around at the people in the room: first Kitty, then Kelso, Fez, Laurie, and finally, Forman._ There was the plan. Screwing with Laurie. Proving her right. He had to adhere to the plan and win...whatever that meant._

He shrugged.

**A/N: Phase one of the plan complete. I'm still toying with a few ways this scheme could play out, but whatever the outcome, next chapter has Bob's barbecue and phase two of the plan. Thanks for reading!**


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